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WEHHAN'S 

BLACK  JOKES, 

"BLUE  DEVILS." 


Chuck  Full  of  Darkey  Fun  ! 

Colored  Philosophy  and  Nigger  Witticisms. 

Consisting-  of   Plantation   and    "High    Life"    Stories- 
Highfalutin    Sermons,    Die-Away    Songs.  —  Ivory 
Opening  Jokes,  Complicated  "  Conunderf  urns  " 
a'nd  an  endless  variety  of  sable   wit, 
showing  up  the  peculiarly  laugha- 
ble character  of  "  Sambo  "  in 
the  strongest  "colors." 


H-iH/LTSTR-ATED  WITH  3STELAJS, 

One  Hundred  Pictorial  "  Black  Jokes." 


PUBLISHED  BY 


HENRY  J.  WEHMAN, 


NEW  YORK 


Copyright,  MDCCCXCVII  by  UENUY  J.  WEHMAN. 


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ADDRESS  ALI,  ORDERS  TO 


HENRY  J.  WBfl MAN,  Publisher,  108  Park  Row,  New  York! 


JOKES 


FOR 


BLUE    DEVILS. 


Born  under  an  Eclipse. 

A  tfcntlu-nan  said  the  other  day  to  a  servant  at  the  hotel  wn«ye  us 
was  ht/>ppin£,  "Bless  my  soul,  Sambo,  how  black  you  are;  how  j»i 
the  name  of  wonder  did  you  get  so  black?"  "Why,  look  a  her*. 


grinning 
dif>  nipper  niay  be  braok^but 


^  ain't  green,  no  how.' 

811 


BLACK  JOKES  FOB  BLUE  DEVILS 

A   Comblundrum. 

ASS  A,  Dandy  Sam  make  comblundrum." 
"Well,  what  is  it?" 

"  'Pose  I  shoot  bullet  troo  deal  board  wid  aim 
itol,  what  else  I  make  beside  round  hole  ?     Gib 
iaa  up  ?     Why,  I  make  a  riddle." 

Classical  Names* 

"Caesar,  go  catch  my  big  horse  there." 

"Yes  sah?     What  you  call  he  name,  sah  ?" 
"Olympus.     Don't  you  know    what  the  poet  says  about  'high 
Olympus?' " 
"  I  don't  know  about  Hio ;  but  he  limpus  'nuf,  dat's  for  certain." 

The  Invention  of  Ruin. 

E  debbel,  dey  say,  long  ago  had  got  loose, 
And  popped  liis  black  nose  into  ebery  caboose , 
To  see  if  dey'd  got  any  meat  on  dere  hooks, 
Or  if  he'd  a  chance  to  get  rid  of  some  cooks. 
For  it  has  been  said, 
By  him  dey  am  bred ; 
So  he  thought  he  might  get  him  some  places 

down  dere, 

Where  de  people  had  noting  but  wool  for  derc 
hair. 

(Chorus) — Very  rum,  very  rum. 


Old  Osesar  Augustus  had  made  his  pot  hot, 
Tho'  for  dinner  he'd  noting  but  horminy  got; 
So  de  debble  popped  in,  and  just  taking  a  seat, 
He  pulled  from  his  pocket  a  bran  new  receipt 

But  Caesar  looked  pale, 

As  he  saw  his  long  tail : 

So  he  stirred  up  his  broth,  and  he  chattered  wid 
Fer  he  knew  dat  de  debble  intended  a  bite. 

Very  rum  I 

Old  cloven-foot  say  dat  old  Caesar  was  sly, 
So  he  tuk  up  a  sugar-cane  standing  just  by, 
And  with  it  he  stirred  up  de  water  so  well, 
Dat  it  bubbled  an'  fumed  wid  a  beautiful  smell 

So  sweet  did  it  come, 

Dat  Caesar  cried  rum : 

It  was  rum's  fust  brewing,  and  Caesar  had  him  soon, 
Was  lapping  de  broth  wid  a  berry  long  spoon. 

Very  rum  I 


BLACK  JOKES  FOji  BLUE  DEVILS. 


Damp-meetin'  to  find  out.     1'se  ben  to  plenty  ob  dem  ar'  and  nebbei 
tould  quite  see  clar.      Tears  like  dey  talk  about  eberytinj-  else  mor'n 
ley  does  'bout  dat.     Dere's  de  Methodists,  dey  cut  up  de  Presbyter' - 
ans,  an'  de  Presbyter' ans  pitches  into  de  Methodists ;  and  den  bofe  on 
sin's  down  on  de  Piscopals.     My  ole  mist'  was  Piscopal,  and  I  neber 
seed  no  harm  in  it.     And  de  Baptists  tink  dey  a'nt  none  on  'em  right 
it '  while  dey  s  a-blowin'  out  at  each  other  dat  ar'  way,  1st  wonder 
to  tvhar't  de  way  L   Canaan  /" 

Ringing  the  Devil 

A  few  years  ago,  at  a  Negro  camp-meeting,  held  near  Flushing,  the 
colored  preacher  said:  "I  tell  you,  my  blubbed  bredern,  dat  de  debble 
is  a  big  hog,  an'  one  ob  dese  days  he'll  cum  along  an'  root  you  all  out' 
An  old  negro,  in  one  of  the  anxious  pews,  hearing  this,  raised  bimsek 
from  the  straw,  and  clasping  his  hands  exclained  in  the  agony  of  his 
tears,  "Ring  him,  Lord  I  ring  him!" 

Guffy  and  his  Master. 

OMPKIISrS,  an  esteemed  friend  of  ours, 
once  had  a  good-for-nothing  little  black 
fellow,  some  twelve  or  fourteen  yeara 
old,  as  a  waiter  boy,  and  after  enduring 
his  pranks  and  mischief  for  some  year 
or  so,  was  at  length  obliged  to  send  him 
adrift,  to  look  after  himself  in  the  world. 
Not  a  great  while  after  parting  with 
little  cuffy,  his  former  master  having  oc- 
casion to  go  to  Albany,  met  him  on 
board  the  steamboat,  where  he  was  em- 
ployed  in  the  capacity  of  steward's  as- 
sistant, and  addressing  him,  he  said : 
"Well,  Jake,  are  you  as  bad  as  ever?1' 
"  Oh,  no,"  answered  the  young  rascal 
with  a  grin  that  brought  into  bold  relief 
every  one  of  his  white  grindeis:  "I'se  got  no  bad  examples  now* 


sah  i 


Delirium    Tremendous. 


A  negro  was  brought  up  before  the  Mayor  of  Philadelphia,  a  ahc 
time  since,  for  sU.-aling  chickens. 

"  Well,  Toby,"  said  his  honor,  "what  have  you  to  say  for  yourself? 

"  Nuffin  but  di~  1  wag  as  crazy  as  a  bed-bug  when  I  stolo 

dat  ar'  pullet,  coz  I  might  hab  stole  do  big  rooster,  and  neber  done  it* 
Dat  shows  clusively  to  my  mind  dat  I  was  laboring  under  de  delirium 
tremendous." 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


Rntdder  Banjosey — On  Kotchin  Eels. 

Oh  I  de  days  when  we  went  eel-kotchin, 

A  long  time  ago—- 
We'd bread  and  "lasses  ob  de  besa, 

And  trowsers  made  ob  tow, 
And  dere  we  set  de  libe  long  nite, 

Ton  de  bank  so  green, 
And  nought  but  tubs  and  eels  and  grog, 
'Bout  us  cood  be  seen. 

And  dus  we  pass  de  nite  away, 
And  out  de  eels  wood  trow. 
In  de  days  when  we  went  eel-kotchia, 
A  long  time  ago. 

And  dem  wus  merry  happy  nites, 


,  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


6  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE,  DEVILS. 

Dead  drunk  was  de  lot,  for  de  debbel  had  come, 
To  show  dein  how  sugar  would  turn  into  rum. 

But,  oh!  from  dat  day, 

Core's  do  debbel  to  pay. 
For  though  all  do  sugar  is  good  for  de  treat, 
Dey  get  by  do  sugar-cane  jolly  woll  beat 

Veiy  rural 

Insinuating    Nigger. 

There  was  said  to  be  a  vacant  tenement  in  Cuffee's  upper  story,  and 
i  he  chucked  his  grist  of  corn  into  the  mill,  the  miller  said,  ''Cuff, 
ihey  say  you  are  a  fool."  "Wai,  massa,"  repied  Cuff,  "Cuff  knows 
ni;i  say  so  —  lull  some  ting  Cuff  know,  and  some  ting  h«  done  know." 
'\NYI1,  Ciiff,  what  do  you  know?"  "Wai,  mnssa,  Cuff  know  dat  mill- 
ers always  ha'  fat  hog."  "  Well,  and  what  dorit  you  know?"  "  Wai, 
—  he!  hoi  he!  —  Cuff  done  know  whose  corn  de  hog  fat  on!" 


Hard    Prayers. 

k  is  related  of  a  Virginia  negro  boy,  who  professed  to  be  dreadfully 
alarmed  at  the  cholera,  that  he  took  to  the  woods  to  avoid  it,  and  was 
Uu're  found  asloep.  Being  asked  why  he  went  to  the  woods,  he  said, 
•'lo  pray."  "But,"  said  the  overseer,  "how  was  it  you  went  to 
<li-ep?"  "Don't  know,  massa,  'zaekly,"  responded  the  negro,  "but  I 
•:|M'C  T  must  hab  over-prayed  myxef." 

Negro  Funeral. 

A  preacher  when  in  the  West  Indies,  one  day  undertook  to  read 
ihe  burial  service  over  a  negro,  which  was  listened  to  with  great  at- 
tention. But  when  the  Doctor  came  to  the  part,  "Dust  to  dust,  and 
ashes  to  ashes,"  the  Negro  who  officiated  as  sexton,  and  was  prepared 
with  a  spade  of  earth  for  the  usual  ceremony,  interrupted  him  with  an 
intimation  that  he  had  neglected  to  order  die  coffin  to  be  put  down 
first:  "Put  him  in  de  hole  fast,  Massa  —  always  put  him  in  de  hole 
fust!' 

"  Tlie  Road  to  Canaan:' 

RS.  Stowe's  book,  "Dread"  teaches  many  a  lessni 
to  white  folks  through  a  dark  medium,  and  not  the 
least  pointed  one  is  the  rebuke  given  Christian  .le- 
nominations  by  "Old  Tiff,"  for  their  mint,  anise  and 
cummin  wrangles,  while  enquirers  are  asking  ^.he 
plan  of  salvation.  "Old  Tiff"  has  the  care  of  the 
children  of  his  dead  mistress,  and  having  told  them 
that  their  mother  had  gone  to  the  land  of  Canaan, 
one  enquires  as  follows:  "Uncle  Tiff,  where  is  the 
laud  of,  Canaan?"  "De  Lor-a-mercy,  chile,  dat  ar's 
A'hat  I'd  like  to  know  myse£  I's  studd:n'  apon  dat  ar.  I's  gwine  to 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR,  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Married  Life. 

Said  Dinah  to  Sambo,  as.  they  were  taking  a  loving  promenade, 
"  What  your  'pinion  'bout  the  married  life?  tink  it  be  de  happiest?" 
•'  Well,  I  tell  you ;  dat  ar'  pend  altogedder  how  dey  enjoy  dem- 
selves." 

Lost  by  an  Absent  H. 

A  cockney  at  a  restaurant  the  other  day  called  for  a  piece  of  pie  to 

op  off  with.     Upon  tasting,  he  found  it  to  be  cold,  and  calling  tne 

Ethiopian  waiter  who  stood  near,  said  to  him :  "Take  the  pie  to  the 

fire  and  'eat  it"     His  consternation  was  great  when  Sambo  walked 

to  the  stove  and  quietly  devoured  the  pie. 

Congress  arid  Christians. 

A  negro,  while  under  examination,  on  being  asked  whether  hia 
master  was  a  Christian,  replied,  "  Oh,  Lor'  nol  he's  a  member  of 
Congress!" 

Dark    Weather. 

"  Good  mornin',  Sambo ;  berry  hot  wedder,  Sambo.  Dey  do  say 
dat  it  am  so  hot  down-east,  dat  dey  is  'bliged  to  take  off  de  tops  oh 
de  houses  to  let  in  de  air."  "  Well,  Cuffy,  it  can't  git  no  hotter  in  our 
house,  anyhow,  cause  de  frenometer's  got  bang  up  to  de  top:  dat's 
one  comfort,  Cuffy." 

A  long  time  ago; 
When  we  eel'd  from  dark  till  light, 

De  moon  as  lite  as  snow. 
And  dere  we  sung  de  jolly  song, 

And  danced  upon  de  shore, 
But,  ah!  dese  hallumlujah  days, 
Will  kuin  agin  no  more. 
Ah,  how  we  pass'd  de  time  away, 

Nor  thought  ob  care  or  woe, 
On  de  nites  when  we  went  eel-kotchin, 
A  long  time  ago. 

Quick    Time. 

A  gentleman  travelling  at  the  South,  inquired  of  a  negro  the  dis- 
tance to  a  certain  place,  and  received  this  reply:  "Dat  'pends  on  cir- 
cumstances, massa.  Ef  you  gwine  afoot  it'll  take  you  'bout  a  day ; 
ef  you  gwine  in  de  stage  or  the  honeybus,  you  make  it  in  half  a  day ; 
but  ef  you  git  it  in  one  of  dese  pmoke  wagons  (railroads)  you  almost 
dar  now." 

Jonah    Turned    Up. 
Not  long  since,  in  South  Carolina,  a  clergyman  was  preaching  on 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DENTTS. 

the  disobedience  of  Jonah,  when  commanded  to  go  and  preach  to  the 
Ninevites.  After  expatiating  for  some  tane  on  the  truly  awful  con- 
sequences of  disobedience  to  the  Divine  commands,  he  exclaimed  in 
a  voice  of  thunder,  that  passed  through  the  congregation  like  an  elec- 
tric shock : 

"  And  are  there  any  Jonah's  here  .?'' 

There  was  an  old  negro  present,  whose  name  was  Jvtoah,  who, 
thinking  himself  called  on,  immediately  rose,  with  his  broadest  grin 
tod  best  bow,  very  readily  answered  • 

"  Here  be  one,  massa  /" 


Hard  to  take  a  Hint. 

"  Pompey,  did  you  take  the  billet  to  Mr.  Jones  f" 

"Es,  massa." 

"  Did  you  see  him  ?" 

"  Es,  sar,  me  jus  did." 

"  How  was  he  ?" 

"  Woy,  massa,  he  looked  pooty  well,  'sidering  he  so  blind !" 

"  Slind  1  what  do  you  mean  by  that  ?" 

"  vVoy,  massa,  when  I  was  in  de  room,  a  gibbing  him  de  paper,  he 
axed  me  whar  was  my  hat ;  and,  massa,  perhaps  you  won't  believe 
me,  he  wur  on  de  top  ob  my  head  de  hull  time!" 

Confidential. 

"  Massa  says  you  must  sartin  pay  de  bill  to-day,"  said  a  negro  to  a 
New  Orleans  shop-keeper. 

"  Why,  he  is'nt  afraid  I'm  going  to  run  away,  is  he  ?"  was  the 
reply. 

"  Not  'zactly  dat ;  but  look  heea,"  said  the  darkey,  slyly  and  mys- 
teriously, ''he's  gwine  to  run  away  heselr  and  deretor  wants  to  make 
a  big  raise !" 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Dog-okgy. 


11 


"Cuffy,  why  don't  you  kick  dat  dog  ? 

"  What  am  de  use  ob  kicking  ebery  cur  dat  snarls  at  you?     Dont 
you  know  dat  am  de  way  he  wants  you  to  bring  him  into  notrje 

Monkey-ania. 

\    "  Why,  Charley,"  said  a  Yankee  to  a  negro  preacher,  "  you  can't 
I  ven  tell  me  who  made  the  monkey." 
,    "Oh,  yes  I  can,  massa." 

"  Well,  then,  who  make  the  monkey  ?" 

•'  Why  massa,  de  same  one  made  de  monkey  wot  made  you! 


A  Novel   Uiew  of  Adam's  Fall 

•'  My  tex    0»  ideren  and  gistern,  will  be  found  in  de  fus'  chapter  ot 

•  juiesih.  and  dt  twenty-seben  verse:  'So  de  Lor  make  mam  jus'  like 

'£'  Now,  my  bruderen,  you  see  dat  in  de  beginnin'  ob  de  world 
j*  Lor'  make  Adam.  I  tole  you  how  he  make  him:  He  make  'im 
out  ob  clay,  an'  he  sot  'im  on  a  board,  an'  he  look^at  him,  an'  he  say 

•  Firs  rate;'  and  when  he  get  dry,  he  breathe  in  'im  de  breff  of  life, 
tie  put  him  in  de  garden  of  Eden,  and  he  sot  'im  in  one  corner  ob  de 
lot,  an'  he  tole  him  to  eat  all  de  apples,  'ceptin'  dem  in  de  middle  ob 
de  orchard;  dem  he  wanted  for  he  winter  apples.     Byrne-bye  Adam 
he  got  lonesome.     So  de  Lor'  make  Ebe.     I  tole  you  how  he  make 
her.    He  gib  Adam  lodlum,  till  lie  git  *ound  'deep :  dep  he  gouge  » 


BLACK  JOKES  FOE  BLUE  DEVILS. 

fib  out  he  side  and  make  Ebe :  and  he  set  Ebe  in  de  corner  of  de  gar- 
den ;  an*  he  tole  her  to  eat  all  de  apples,  'ceptin'  dem  in  de  middle  ob 
de  ^  orchard ;  dem  he  winter  apples.  Wun  day  de  Lor'  go  out  a  bisit- 
tin'  •  de  debbil  cum-along ;  he  dress  hisself  in  de  skin  ob  de  snake,  and 
he  find  Ebe ;  an'  he  tole  her :  'Ebe I  why  for  you  no  eat  de  apple  in 
de  middle  ob  de  orchard?'  Ebe  say:  'Dem  de  Lor's  winter  apples.' 
But  de  dibbil  say :  '  I  tole  you  for  to  eat  dem,  case  deys  de  best 

pplee  in  de  orchard.'  So  Ebe  eat  de  apple  an'  gib  Adam  a  bite;  an' 
lebbil  go  away.  Byrne-bye  de  Lor'  come  home,  an'  he  miss  de  win 
ter-appTes;  an' he  call:  'Adam!  you  Adanf!'  Adam  he  lay  low; 
*>  de  Lor'  call  again:  'You,  Adam  1'  Adam  say  :  '  Hea,  Lor'  1'  and 
;le  Lor'  say :  'Who  stole  de  winter-apples?'  Adam  tole  him  he  don't 
Know— Ebe  he  expec' !'  So  de  Lor'  called :  '  Ebe !'  Ebe  she  lay  low ; 
ie  Lor'  call  again :  '  You,  Ebe !'  '  Ebe  say :  '  Hea,  Lor'.'  De'Lor'  say : 

Who  stole  de  winter  apples?'  Ebe  tole  him  she  don't  know — Adam 
-she  expec' !  So  de  Lor'  cotch  'em  boff,  and  he  throw  dem  over  dt 
ence,  an'  he  tole  'em,  'Go  work  for  your  libin'I '" 

Fust  in  Lub  !    and  Ice  Oream  I 

-  i  nab  always  in  my  life,"  said  Caesar  Hannibal,  "found  de  gals  tc 
•M  fust  in  lub,  fust  in  a  quarrel,  fust  in  de  dance,  fust  in  de  ice-cream 
saloon,  and  de  fust,  best,  and  last  in  de  sick-room!  What  would  w« 
p->or  fellers  do  widout  dem?  Let  us  be  born  as  young,  as  ugly,  and 
as*  helpless  as  we  please,  and  a  woman's  arms  am  ready  to  receive  us 
shn  it  am  who  puts  close  'pon  our  helpless,  naked  limbs,  and  cubbers 
up  our  footses  and  toeses  in  long,  flannel  petticoats ;  and  it  am  she, 
wi  >,  as  we  grow  up,  fills  our  dinner-basket  wid  doughnuts  and  apples 
•F  i  re  start  to  school,  and  licks  us  when  we  tears  our  trowsers." 

Loud    Prayers. 

PIOUS  negro  belonging  to  a  Quaker,  made 
such  a  noise  by  shouting  aloud  his  prayers  in 
the  kitchen  as  to  disturb  the  whole  house, 
whereupon  Broadbrin.  admonished  him  that 
the  Lord  was  not  deaf,  and  oould  hear  the 
feintest  whisper  "  Yi,  yi,"  triumphantly  re- 
plied the  negro,  "  but  de  scripter  says,  '  hotter- 
ed  be  thy  namef" 


Neber  See   Um  Again  I 

•'Sam,  why  don't  you  talk  to  your  massa,  and  tell  urn  to  lay  up  his 
measure  in  heaven  ?" 

"  What's  the  use  of  his  laying  up  his  treasure  dar,  where  he  neber 
aee  um  again  ?" 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  B1UB  DEVILS.  i3 

A  Kind-hearted  Negro. 

"  Pompey,  are  you  willing  to  be  damned,  if  it  should  be  the  Lord's 
will  ?"  inquired  a  pious  friend. 

"  O,  yes,  massa !  and  more  too ;  I's  willing  you  be  damned,  too. 
Massal '  replied  Pompey. 

Roosting  High. 

"  Now,  look'er  yer,  Charley,  Jim  mout  be  an  honest  nigger,  an 
then,  again,  he  mouten't;  but  if  I  was  a  chicken,  and  know'd  he  wa 
about  de  yard,  I  tell  ye  wot,  nigger,  I'd  roost  high — that  I  would  I" 


NORTH    AND    SOUTH: 

— OR.— 

"  The    Good    Time    Coming  F 

"Keep  Off  dat  Heel  I" 

Isaiah  Smith  is  black  enough  to  pass  for  the  ace  of  spades.  His 
body  presents  the  Ethiopian  formation,  without  blemish.  He  exhib- 
its the  woolly  head,  thick  lips,  and  the  long  heels.  Now,  Isaiah  is  a 
peaceable  man,  and  tho' peaceable,  no  one  has  a  right  to  tramp  on  his 
heels.  Yet.  somebody  did  do  it,  the  other  night,  down  on  Rice  street 
and  Cheny  alley;  and,  besides  that,  gave  Isaiah  a  'clue'  on  his  let 
cheek.  HOAV  it  happened,  we  do  not  know  to  a  positive  certainty 
but  we  will  let  Julius  Csesar  Anderson,  a  woolly-headed  friend  o, 
ill's  tell  the  story.  One  Joseph  Wellenkamp,  being  charged  with 
assaulting  Isaiah,  in  the  Police  Court  this  morning,  Julius  Caesar  An- 
derson was  called  up  for  a  witness. 

"  Well,  you  see,  hoss,"  said  he,  after  being  sworn,  "  I  cooks  down 
on  Sixth  street.  Well,  I  meets  Isaiah,  and  sez  Isaiah  to  me,  'Dat 
wife  mine  bery,  bery  sick,  Julius,  an'  I  want's  you  to  guy  'long  down 
an'  see  her.'  'Dosen't  car  efl  does,'  sez  I  to  Isaiah,  so  down  dar  we 
goes.  Well,  Isaiah's  wile  war  bery  sick.  We  guys  into  de  house  an 


14 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


found  hei  in  de  bed.  '  How  is  you  ?'  sez  I  to  Isaian's  wife.  '  Dam 
rick,'  says  she,  'but  I  tinks  if  Isaiah  go  gets  me  a  bolona  sassage,  I  eatt 
it  and  gets  better  /' " 

This  created  a  roar  of  laughter,  which  caused  Julius  to  i  oil  up  de 
white  of  his  eyes,  and  exclaim — 


"  Dat'8  sc  I  She  want's  de  sassage,  so  Isaiah  and  I  guys  'long  foi 
the  sassage.  We  gets  to  de  street,  and  Isaiah  yells  out,  "Q-et  off  dat 
l-.fiel !"  Sez  I '  bress  de  Lor',  I  ain't  on  yer  heel,  Isaiah.  Den  he  looks 
aroiu.',  and  dar  stood  dat  white  man,  stan'n  on  Isaiah's  heel  1" 

Here  the  laughter  drowned  the  witness'  voice.  After  a  while  h«j 
continued : 

"  Lor'  a  mighty,  I  war  skeered.  You  better  b'lieve  I  takes  de  out* 
tide  by  de  curb.  Den  dat  white  man  he  get  off  Isaiah's  heel  an'  he 
ip  fist  in'  fotch  him  a  lick  right  spank  in  de  face.  Den  sez  I,  'Legs 
do  him  duty,'  and  I  runs  like  de  berry  debbeL  When  dis  chickec 
comes  back  he  goes  de  udder  way,  he  did." 

Yatter   fever  and  Philosophy. 

John  Canepole  was  a  small  pocket  edition  of  humanity.  He  had  a 
black  servant  who  was  a  stout  fellow  ;  and  being  a  privileged  joker, 
Sambo  let  no  occasion  pass  unimproved,  where  he  could  rally  hie 
'  upon  his  diminutive  carcase,  John  was  taken  sick,  and  Sam- 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUR  DEVILS.  16 

bo  was  sent  for  the  doctor.  The  faithful  negro  loved  his  master,  and 
apon  the  arrival  of  the  physician  looked  up  in  his  face  anxiously.  Ex- 
amining the  symptoms,  the  Doctor  pronounced  his  patient  in  no  dan- 
ger. Reassured  by  this.  Sambo's  spirits  returned,  and  he  indulged  hig 
latural  disposition  for  drollery.  "  I  tell  you,  Doctor,  Massa  Canepoie 
will  die,  cause  he  got  a  lever !"  "  A  fever,  you  black  dog,'1  said  the 
patient,  "  does  a  fever  always  kill  a  man  ?"  "  Yes  massa,  when  a  fe- 

er  gets  into  such  a  little  man,  it  never  hab  room  to  turn  in  him,  and 

t'  the  fever  no  turn,  you  die  sartin  I" 


A    Fat   Dance, 

"  Miss  Josephina,"  said  a  thick,  cherry-looking  lipped  negro,  to  one 
of  Afric's  daughters.  "  Miss  Josephine,  will  you  does  dis  nigger  de 
anticipation  ob  dancin'  a  Wirginny  reel  wid  'nn  ?" 

"I  doesn't  assent  to  dance  wulgaracions  dances  ob  dat  sort,  Mr. 
Casus,"  said  Miss- Josephina,  turning  up  still  higher  her  well-rounded 
upper  lip-  -turning  it  up  till  it  fairly  tickled  her  nose-  "I  dances  only 
de  porker!" 

Negro   Attachment. 

A  Scotch  merchant,  in  the  island  of  Jamaica,  had  among  his  slaves 
one  whom  he  very  much  disliked,  and  treated  with  the  greatest  sever- 
ity :  A  mutual  dislike  soon  grew  on  the  part  of  Quashy ;  not  only  to 
his  master,  but  to  all  Scotchmen.  Sunday  being  his  holiday,  he 
bought  at  the  water-side  some  fry  (a  small  fish  like  shrimps),  and  call 
ed  past  his  master's  door !" 

"  Fine  Scotchmen,  all  ah' ve  1     Scotchmen  I  buy  my  Scotchmen  f" 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 


His  master  in  a  rage  calls  him,  "  What  have  you  there  ?" 

"Scotchmen,  massa." 

"Let  me  look?    Why,  you  rascal,  thebe  are  shrimps;  how  dart 
you  call  them  Scotchmen  ?'' 

"  Oh,  massa,  looka  here,  dem  stick  together  like  Scotchmen ;  come 
Vne,  come  twenty,  every  time." 

'-'  His  master  did  not  forget  the  first  opportunity  to  scratch  Quashy's 
back.  After  some  time,  the  master  was  laid  on  his  death-bed. 
Touched  with  remorse  at  the  reflection  of  the  severity  he  had  treated 
this  poor  creature  with,  he  sent  for  lu'm  to  the  bed-side. 

"  Well,  Quashy,  I  am  going  to  die." 

"  Oh,  massa,  no  Tddkeraboo  yet" 

"  Yes,  I  must.     I  now  feel  I  have  been  too  harsh  with  you  ?" 

"Oh,  massa,  you  flog  me  like  a  devill" 

''  To  make  you  amends,  I'll  leave  you  your  freedom." 

"  Bless  you  heart,  massa." 

"  Any  thing  else  can  you  ask  of  me  ?" 

"Yes,  massa,  one  little  favor;  when  Quashy  dead,  let  him  be  bury 
close  alongside  of  you." 

"  Affectionate  creature!     But  why  so?" 

"  Because,  when  the  devil  come,  he  will  be  so  busy  about  you,  ht 
forget  Quasny." 

in  de  Current. 

HE  other  night  in  Montgomery,  Alaba 
ma,  I  stepped  into  the  Presbyterian  lec- 
ture-room where  a  slave  was  preaching: 
"  My  Bredreu,"  says  he,  "God  bressyour 
souls,  'ligiou  is  like  de  Alabama  river ;  in 
spring  come  fresh,  an'  bring  in  all  de  ole 
logs,  slabs,  an'  sticks  dat  hab  been  lyin' 
on  the  bank,  an'  carry  dem  down  in  de 
current     Bymeby  de  water  down,  den  a 
1  log  cotch  here  on  dis  island,  den  a  slab 
gits  eotched  on  the  shore,  an'  de  sticks 
on  de  bushes  :  an'  dare  dey  lie  wid'rin  on 
de   shore    an    dryin'  till   come  'nether 
fivslu  Jus'  so  dare  come  'vival  of1  ligion  • 
ole  backslider  bro't  back,  an'  all  de  folk 
times.     But,  bredren,  God  bressyou 
den  dis  ole  sinner  is  stuck  on  his  ole  EIEL, 


d  b  ...3  sinne-  hro't 
souis,  bytntby 


in. 

an'  mig- 
vival  ufone 


souis,     ycQfcy   vva  g        ,  ->. 

den  dat  ole  backslider  is  cotehed  where  he  was  afore  on  jus  such  a 
roek ;  den  one  after  'nother  dat  had  got  'ligion  lies  all  along  de  shore 
an'  dare  dey  lie  till  'nother  :vivaL  Beloved  bredren,  God  bress  our 
souls,  keep  in  de  current" 

One   Eyed  John. 
"My  brethering,  I  am   ".vine  to  proach  you  a  very  plain  sar 


JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 


11 


mon  to-day — a  sarmon  what  even  women  can  understand.  You  will 
find  my  text  in  the  5  varse  of  the  two-eyed  chapter  of  one-eyed  Jonn." 
It  was  some  time  before  it  was  perceived  that  he  meant  1  John,  chap- 
ter IL 

A  -Darkey's  Speech. 

N  one  of  the  smaller  cities  of  Massachusetts, 
the  colored  population  held  meetings  to  discuss 
the  propriety  of  celebrating  the  anniversary  o! 
West  Indian  Emancipation,  August  1st.  At 
one  of  these  meetings,  a  very  conservative  gen- 
tleman wes  exceedingly  surprised  to  see  some 
of  the  "fair  sex"  rising  and  taking  part  in  the 
discussion.  After  two  or  three  of  the  sisters 
had  "freed  dar  mines"  on  matters  under  debate, 
he  sprung  up  in  a  greatly  excited  state,  and 
addressed  the  audience : 

"  Feller-citizens !  ef  I'd  sposed  'at  de  ladees 
s  wood  p'mitted  to  take  a  part  in  dis  yere  discus- 
sion (sensation) — ef  I'd  node  'at  de  ladees  could  jine  in  dis  debate- 
Jail  eyes  turned  on  the  speaker) — ef  I'd  bleeved  for  one  minit,  feller- 
citizens,  'at  de  female  sect  wood  dare  to  raise  deir  woice  in  dis  yere 
meetin'  I'd,  feller-citizens— ('  Wot,  wot  wood  you've  a — did — ef  you'd 
Qode  it  ?'  shouted  two  or  three  of  the  strong  minded  sisters,  as  the 
whites  of  their  eyes  flashed  on  the  speaker)— I'd  (scratching  his  wool) 
f'd  a  brung  my  wife,  along  with  me  /" 

Here  the  discomfited  orator  dropped  into  his  seat,  completely  ex- 
lausted. 

A  Southerner's  Household. 

HEY  number  four  persons.  My  cook, 
Sophronisba  EtheliaMalvina  Jones,  whom 
I  call  "  Aunt  Niz"  for  brevity ;  "  Cuff," 
whom  I  also  term  Caesar,  Pompey,  Jove, 
&c.,  and  who  does  not  object  to  answer  tc 
the  name  of  John ;  Peter,  my  hostler,  and 
Hein-Eifels  Johann  Pfroschlangstered 
Duminkopf,  my  gardener,  market-man, 
model  of  industrious  stupidity,  and  univer 
sal  laughter  stimulant,  whom  I  call  by  hia 
entire  name,  by  way  of  lingual  excitation. 
Thank  fortune,  every  one  of  my  family  are 
characters,  originals,  departures  from  the 
common  run,  and  worthy  of  being  studied 
fc  specimens  of  psycoiogical  mysterie 
id  of  a  surety  I  have  not  been  disappointed. 
A.unt  Niz  belongs  to  me.  I  purchased  her  and  have  a  bill  of  gale. 


18  BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

I  paid  just  $20  for  her.  I  would  not  take  $1000.  I  paid  a  visit  to  an 
Eastern  Shore  friend  of  mine  recently,  and  having  mentioned  rny  in- 
tentions of  farming,  he  asked  me  if  I  did  not  want  a  cook.  I  did.— 
He  had  the  very  best  article  for  me,  he  said,  and  called  up  Aunt  Ni*. 
I  was  struck  with  her  appearance. 

•'Would  you  like  to  live  with  me?"  asked  L 

"  Is  you  married,  marster  ?  " 

I  uttered  a  cry  of  indignant  repugnance. 

"  Does  you  b'long  to  de  temp'rance  s'ciety,  marster  ?  " 

I  shouted  no  1  no  I  I  no  1  1  I 

"  Den  I  packs  my  trunk  dis  night,  if  you  will  buy  me,  marster.— 
You  jist  is  de  berry  man.  Mars.  John  here's  berry  good,  but  him'i 
new  married  wife  um  got  too  much  ob  de  mistress  'bout  her.  She 
will  keep  poking  all  'round  de  kitchen,  spite  um  all  I  can  say,  an'  she 
locks  the  jimmydon  so  tight  I  can't  even  smell  ary  drop  of  whiskey." 

"  What  are  her  faults  ?"  asked  I,  when  she  had  gone. 

"  She  will  have  her  own  way.  She  wiH  get  drunk.  She  witt  smoke 
die  foulest  pipe,  run  away  to  husking  frolics,  and  eteal  from  the 
pantry!" 

"Her  virtues?"  asked  I,  laughing. 

"  Good  cook,  and  honest,  except  to  eatables  and  liquors,  and  strong 
as  an  ox,  though  she's  full  fifty  years  old." 

"  What  is  your  price  ?" 

"  Oh,  I  would  not  sell  her  for  anything.  I  will  give  her  to  you,  if 
you  will  promise  never  to  send  her  out  of  the  State." 

"I  will  give  you  that  promise  and  $20  if  you  will  give  me  a  bill  of  sale," 

It  was  done;  and  thus  I  came  in  to  possession  of  "Aunt  Niz."  She 
pleases,  me  very  much.  She  is  a  very  tall,  spare  built  old  woman, 
straight  as  an  arrow,  with  a  fine  intelligent  countenance,  and  a  very 
long  arm.  She  dresses  either  in  "linsey  woolsey"  or  "blue  domes- 
tic," and  has  sold  two  dresses  that  I  gave  her  for  whiskey.  She  al- 
ways wears  a  parti-colored  bandanna  turban  on  her  head,  put  far 
back,  so  as  not  to  interfere  with  the  buckets,  tubs,  bags,  and  milkpans 
that  she  is  constantly  carrying  about  upon  the  summit  of  her  cranium. 
I  like  her  much,  I  say,  though  her  faults  are  many.  She  knows  how 
to  cook,  and  is  willing,  obliging  and  considerate.  She  has  faults,  most 
undoubtedly.  I  have  had  her  six  weeks,  and  she  has  been  drunk 
thirteen  times.  She  pilfers  my  groceries  a  little  and  smokes  whenev- 
er she  is  at  work.  It  was  only  yesterday  that  she  came  in  and  told 
me  the  dog  had  stolen  niy  butter. 

"Is  it  not  in  your  closet,  Aunt  Niz?  You  have'  not  looked  well 
Let  me  look." 

She  hurried  ahead  of  me,  opened  the  closet  dcor,  and  I  saw  her 
thrust  something  very  suspiciously  into  her  bosom 

"It's  not  Jar,  marster,  you  sec/"' 

"No,  it  isn't  dar.  But  what  yellow  stuff  is  that  smeared  on  yooi 
chin,  aunt  Niz?" 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  13LUK  DEVILS.  18 

8h«  bad  a  great  lump  of  butter  there. 

"Oh,  dat's  lard,  inarster." 

"What  are  you  doing  with  lard  on  your  chin?" 

"Why,  you  see,  marster,  as  I  tuck  de  coffee  bilur  ofl'n  de  fiie.  de 
steam  flewed  up,  an'  blistered  my  chin  'mazin'  bad :  so  I  put  de  lacd 
on  to  heal  him. 

It  was  very  hot  in  the  kitchen,  and  already  the  butter  began  to 
men  under  her  dress  and  ooze  through. 

"  Where  did  you  get  so  much  grease  on  your  sleeves,  aunt  Niz  ? " 
asked  I. 

"  Oh,  Lord,  marster  Q-,  as  I'm  a  sinner,  it's  bin  so  hot  it's  done  and 
melted  de  lard  from  my  chin,  so  dat  it's  done  dropped  down  dar.  Dat 
am  bad,  sartin." 

"What  have  you  got  here,  aunt  Niz?"  said  I,  touching  my  finge. 
against  the  plate  in  which  the  butter  was,  as  it  half  showed  itself  un- 
der her  dress. 

"  Jerush,  Marster  Penne,  doesn't  you  really  know  data  my  decease? 
I  been  had  de — de — hosserfecashun  of  the  chist  You  know — de 
bones  all  turn  into  meat — I  means  dat  de  meat  all  grow  into  bone. — 
Doctors  hab  tell  me  it'll  kill  me  one  ob  dese  days.  Now,  raelly,  el 
Marster  John  meant  a  fair  trade,  he  should  have  told  you  all  my  blem- 
ishes; don'  ye  think  so,  marster?" 

I  gave  up  the  butter  subject  after  that,  and  she  may  steal  it  by  th« 
pound,  so  I  have  enough. 


*>  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Next  on  my  list  is  "Cuff."  He  is  "my  little  black  boy,"  and  haa 
the  "  gizzard  foot  and  Eboe  shin"  to  an  intensity  perfectly  wonderful 
His  face  is  as  black  and  as  round,  and  as  shiny  as  one  of  those  fresh 
painted  cannon  balls  that  they  pile  so  symmetrically  in  the  navy- 
yards. 

"Cuff"  is  a  humorist,  a  fellow  of  finest  fancies,  and  when  he  rolls  his 
eyes  and  shows  his  splendid  teeth  with  an  appreciative  chuckle,  sayg 
he  would  like  to  be  a  theaumater  actor,  and  play  Othello  and  Dee- 
demona. 

He  is  a  decided  good  boy,  is  "Cuff,"  is  a  practical  philosopher  of  the 
class  of  "optimists,"  and  is  opposed  to  any  expenditure  of  the  "mus- 
cular fibre"  that  can  be  avoided. 

I  hke  to  see  him  sleeping  of  an  afternoon,  under  my  hammock,  and 
it  delights  me  to  notice  how  patiently  he  will  bear  any  amount  of 
ca.liog  without  indicating  his  annoyance,  or,  indeed,  showing  in  any 
way  his  consciousness  of  it-  and  when  I  pour  a  tumbler  full  of  water 
into  bis  ear,  instead  of  getting  angry,  hj  only  sighs  gently  and  turui> 
upoh  the  other  side. 


Who  knows  but  my  philosop  uc  Cuff  may  in  time  become  an 
jfip;ctetus  ? 

Uor  could  any  observant  person  fail  to  derive  benefit  from  a  study 
of  the  appearance  and  character  of  Peter,  who  superintends  my  sta 
bles,  and  assists  at  whatever  other  work  may  not  interfere  with  his 
own  ideas  of  comfort  Peter  is  sixty  years  of  age,  tall  and  comely, 
with  his  broad,  liver-colored  visage,  his  hair  sprinkled  with  gray,  his 
immensely  capacious  mouth,  and  the  general  atmosphere  of  well-to-dc 
unctuousuess  that  pervades  him  and  his  surroundings. 

Peter  is  a  member  of  the  church,  and  a  class  leader,  and  a  thorough 
bred  type  of  the  Thadband  school  dtme  in  brown.  His  prayer  wella 
over  with  his  complacent  "  PharJseeism."  which  is  shocked  and  di» 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS.  31 

tressed  at  the  "sinful  creatures"  around  him,  and  his  hypocrisy  ia  so 
closely  interwoven  into  the  woof  of  his  being,  that  without  it  he 
would  lose  his  charm,  would  not  be  Peter.  He  drinks  his  whiskey 
as  in  the  act  of  the  bestowal  of  a  "cup  of  cold  water"  upon  some 
famished  brother — and  he  is  not  a  disciple  of  Father  Matthew;  he 
steals  a  sheep  and  then  draws  a  knife  across  its  throat  with  the  air  of 
a  father  who  is  slaying  the  fatted  calf  upon  the  return  of  a  much  loved 
prodigal,  and  performs  every  action,  good,  bad,  or  indifferent,  with 
the  stateliness  and  dignity  of  a  Roman  Senator.  It  is  almost  impossi- 
ble to  disturb  his  equanimity.  If  you  accuse  him  of  wrong  doing,  he 
mildly  drops  an  appropriate  text  about  the  imperfections  and  injustice 
of  human  justice,  and  murmurs  something  very  provoking  about 
"  where  the  wicked  cease  from  troubling  and  the  weary  are  at  rest." 

Aunt  Niz,  who  hates  him  f  >r  a  "sneaking  cat's  paw"  is  the  only 
one  who  can  manage  him.  She  often  sends  him  salt  for  sugar,  spills 
her  hot  grease  upon  him.  gives  him  broken  plates  to  eat  out  of,  and 
makes  him  uncomfortable  as  possible.  Once  she  made  him  angry  and 
from  my  hammock  I  heard  a  most  prodigious  oath  and  a  blow.  I 
went  to  the  kitchen,  and  there  was  aunt  Niz,  drunk,  on  the  floor, 
with  an  empty  jug  in  her  hand,  and  Peter  standing  over  her  with  a 
huge  hickory  broom  raised  on  high  1 

"What,  Peter,  beating  a  woman?" 


•  No,  Master  Wilhelm,  thanks  be  to  Gno.  J  b«^e  «.  sufficient  con 
rol  over  my  exasperations — I  was  only  returning  good  for  evil.  This 
drunken  wretch  had  robbed  me  of  my  stomach  bitters,  and  I  air 
ing  the  flies  off  her" 


BLACK  JOKES  FOE  BLUE  DfeVILS. 


Didn't 'know  what  struck  him. 

A  young  fellow,  once   walking  down   a  street,  in  Richmond, 
was  met  by  a  son    of  darkness,  who,  in   passing,  jostled  him.     Thfl 
young  fellow  turned  quickly,  and,  with  one  blow,  Knocked  him  into 
the  middle  of  the  street     Slowly  picking  himself  up,  and  nibbing  hit 
eyes,  he  exclaimed,  with  an  ir resistible  ludicrousne**,  " Lor' Almighty 
;nassa  I  how  did  I  git  heah  ?" 

Looked  like  a  Nigger. 

Our  Jim  was  only  three  years  old.  A  colored  barber  waa  sent  foi 
to  shave  Jim's  uncle,  who  was  sick.  Jim  hated  niggers,  as  he  called 
them.  We  knew  that  our  poor  colored  brother  would  have  rather  a 
aarJ  time  if  we  did  not  give  some  wise  and  wholesome  advice  to  our 
little  three-year-old  previous  to  his  coming  ;  so,  taking  him  aside,  we 

"  Georgie,  there  is  a  colored  gentleman  coming  to  shave  Uncle  Wil- 
liam to-day,  and  you  may  go  and  see  him  if  you  will  not  call  him  a 
nigger  for  he  isn't;  he  is  a  colored  gentleman.  Now  you  won't  call 
*iim  a  nigger,  will  you  ?" 

"No,  Alarm!" 

Thus  our  fears  were  at  an  end ;  and  in  the  course  of  the  morning 
our  worthy  friend  came.  Georgie  watched  him  very  closely,  and 
seemed  evidently  to  be  in  something  of  a  "  brown  study."  At  length 
going  up  quite  near  him,  he  gave  one  very  scrutinizing  glance,  and 
said: 

Look  here  I  you  ain't  anigger,  are  you  f  you  area  colored  gentleman  ; 
but  you  look  like  a  nigger,  pretitely" 

Tliis  was  too  much  for  black  or  white  to  endure,  and  our  colored 
friend  seemed  to  enjoy  the  joke  as  much  as  any  of  us. 

Mutton  versus  Souts. 

et  me  tell  you  an  incident.     I  know  it  to  be  true, 

for  it  occurred  here  in  Zanesville.     Judge  A ,  j 

the  individual  mentioned,  is  our  present  member  I 
of  Congress,  and    Parson  Jones,  the    old  negro  \ 
preacher,  (heaven  rest  his  bones!)  with   his   old   I 
gray  mare  and  rickety  cart,  have  long  since  returned  J 
to  dust     The  judge  was  present  at  the  delivery  o 
.one  of  his  sermons,  and  was  brought  in  by  the 

>eaker  by  way  of  illustrating  a  certain   position 

ien  and  there  taken  by  him. 
"My  dear  friends  and  brethren,"  said  'he,  "d 
soul  ob  de  brack  man  is  as  dear  in  de  sight  ob  de 
Lord  as  de  soul  ob  de  white  man.     Now  you  aB 
a-sitting  dah  leaning  on  his  golden  headed  cane;  you 


«iee  Judge- 


all  know  de  Judge,  niggas,  and  a  terry  One  man  he  is,  too.     Well 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUK  DEVILS.  13 

now,  Tse  gvine  to  make  a  liitle  comparishment:  Suppose  de  judge, 
some  fine  mornin'  puts  his  basket  on  his  arm  and  goes  to  market  to 
buy  a  piece  of  meat  He  soon  finds  a  nice  fat  piece  of  mutton  ar<d 
goes  off  with  it  Do  you  'spose  de  judge  would  stop  to  'quire  weuder 
dat  mutton  was  ob  a  white  sheep  or  ob  a  brack  sheep  ?  No,  nuffin 
ob  de  kind  ;  if  de  mutton  was  nice  an'  fat  it  would  be  all  de  same  to 
de  judge ;  he  would  not  stop  to  ask  wedder  de  sheep  had  white  wool 
or  brack  wool.  Well,  jis  so  it  is,  my  frens,  wid  our  Hebenly  Master 
He  does  not  stop  to  ax  wedder  a  soul  'longs  to  a  white  man  or  abracfc 
man — wedder  his  head  was  kivered  wid  straight  har  or  kivered  wid 
wool;  the  only  question  he  would  ax  will  be,  'Is  dis  a  good  soulY 
and  if  so  de  Massa  will  say,  '  Enter  into  de  joy  ob  de  Lord,  an'  sit 
down  on  de  same  bench  wid  de  white  man ;  ye's  all  on  a  perfect 
'quality.11 

Editors  not  Gemmen. 

An  editor  got  shaved  in  a  barber-shop  lately,  and  offered  the  darkey 
a  dime,  which  was  refused :  because,  said  he,  "  I  understand  you  is  an 
editor!" 

"Well,  what  of  that?" 

"  We  neber  charge  editors  nuffin." 

"  But  such  liberality  will  ruin  you." 

"  Oh,  nebber  mind,  we  makes  it  up  off  de  gemmen  /" 

"  Great  Ory  and  Littk  Wool'1 


"  Gum  Games." 

At  a  negro  camp  meeting  held  when  such  assemblies  were  less  rar 
than  they  are  at  present,  the  speaker  in  depicting  the  horrors  of  eter 
nal  punishment,  reiterated  the  phrase — "  There  shall  be  weeping  and 
wailing  and  gnashing  of  teeth,"  accompanying   the  last  expression 
with  an  appropriate  movement  of  the  lower  jaw.     It  so  happened  that 
a  gray  old  sinner  had  obtained  possession  of  one  of  the  seats  on  the 
stage,  where  he  sat,  at  every  recurrence  of  this  phrase,  nibbing  his 
toothless  gums  with  a  grin    of  complacent   satisfaction,  that  greatly 
disturbed  the  gravity  of  the  beholders,     It  was  some  time  before  the 


24 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


Bleaching  a  She-ting. 

"Sam,  why  am  de  belobed  ob  my  heart,  Miss  Dinah,  de  sunflowei 
b  de  hill  like  a  kind  ob  cloth  dev  make  in  Lowell  ? '' 
"  I  don  t  know,  nigger — why  ?  * 
"  Cos  she's  an  unbleached  she-ting." 

Betting  with  a  Mule. 

A  Georgia  negro  was  riding  a  mule  along,  and  can  e  to  a  bridge, 
when  the  mule  stopped. 

"  I'll  bet  you  a  quarter,"  said  Sambo,  "  Til  make  yt  u  go  ober  dis 
bridge,"  and  with  that  he  struck  the  mule  over  the  ears,  which  made 
him  nod  his  head  suddenly.  "  Yon  t.uke  de  bet  den,"  said  the  negro, 


speaker  discovered  what  was  distracting  the  attention  of  his  audience, 
but  when  he  did,  he  turned  to  the  offender,  and  with  redoubled  ear-     / 
nestness  exclaimed,  "  an'  dem  what's  got  no  teeth  'HI  hob  to  yum  it1 

Cuffee  ahead  of  Cliemislry.  |f 

'•  I  say,  Cuffee,  does  you  know  what  makes  de  corn  grow  so  fast 

when  you  put  de  manure  on  it?" 

"  No,  I  don't  know  'cept  it  makes  de  ground  stronger  for  de  corn." 
"  No,  I  just  tell  you ;  when  de  corn  begins  to  sm«ll  de  manure,  it 

don't  like   de  'fumery,  so  it  hurries  out  ofde  ground  and  gute  up  u 

ttigh  as  possible,  so  it  canlt  breathe  de  bad  air, 

"  Vanity  Fair." 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEYIL& 


and  then  contrived  to  get  the  stubborn  mule  over  the  bridge.  "I  won 
dat  quarter,  anyhow,"  said  Sambo. 

••But  how  will  you  get  your  money?"  said  a  man  close  by,  unper- 
reived. 

"To-morrow,"  replied  Sambo,  "masaa  gib  a  dollah  to  get  com,  an' 

take  de  quarter  out" 

Black  Coffins, 

During  the  war  Sir  Isaac  Coffin  visited  Dartmoor  prison,  for  the 
purpose  of  releasing  all  the  American  prisoners  who  bore  the  name  of 
Coffin,  and  might  be  supposed  to  be  of  his  family.  When  a  number 
had  been  liberated,  a  negro  presented  himself,  and  claimed  his  liberty 
by  the  same  title. 

"  What,"  said  the  Admiral,  "you  a  Coffin  too!" 

"Yes,  massa." 

"How  old  are  you?" 

"Me  thirty  year,  massa." 

"  Well  then,  you  are  not  one  of  the  Coffins,  for  they  never  tors 
olack  before  they  are  forty." 

Tfie  Brewer  and  Negro. 


s 


A  Brewer  in  a  country  town 

Had  got  a  monstrous  reputation : 
No  other  beer  but  his  went  down — 

The  hosts  of  the  surrounding  station 
Carving  his  name  upon  their  mugs, 

And  painting  it  on  every  shutter; 

And  tho'  some  envious  folks  would  utter 
Hints  that  its  flavor  came  from  drugs, 
Others  maiatain'd  'twas  no  such  matter, 

•But  owing  to  his  monstrcus  vat, 

At  least  as  corpulent  as  that 
At  Heidelburg— rand  some  said  fatter 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILO. 

His  foreman  was  a  lusty  black, 

An  honest  fellow; 
But  one  wiio  had  an  ug'y  knack 
Of  tasting  samples  us  Lt  Uiwed, 

Till  he  waa  stupefied  and  mellow. 
One  day  in  this  top-heavy  mood. 

Having  to  cross  the  vat  aforesaid, 
(Just  then  with  boiling  beer  supplied) 

O'ercome  with  giddiness  and  qualms,  he 
Reel'd — fell  in — and  nothing  more  said, 
But  in  his  favorite  liquor  died, 

Like  Clarence  in  liis  butt  of  Mahusey. 

In  all  directions  round  about 
The  negro  absentee  was  sought, 
But  as  no  human  noddle  thought 

That  our  fat  Black  was  now  Brown  Stout 


They  settled  that  the  negro  had  left 
The  place  for  debt  or  crime  or  theft. 

Meanwhile  the  beer  was  day  by  day 
Drawn  into  casks  and  sent  away 

Until  the  lees  flowed  thick  anc'  thicker, 
When  lo !  outstretched  upon  the  ground, 
Once  more  their  missing  friend  they  found, 

As  they  had  often  dcnj — in  liquor. 

8ee,  cried  his  moralizing  master, 

I  always  knew  the  fellow  drank  hard 

And  prophesied  some  sad  disaster ; 

His  fate  should  other  tipplers  strike, 

Poor  Mi;ngo'  there  he  welters,  like 
A  toast  ;\t  bottom  of  a  tankard! 

Next  ni-irn  a  publican  whose  tap 
Had  lu-lp'd  to  drain  the  vat  so  dry, 

Not  having  heard  of  the  mishap, 
Came  to  demand  a  fresh  supply, 

Protesting  loudly  that  the  last 

All  previous  specimens  surnass'd, 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Possessing  a  much  richer  gusto 
Than  formerly  it  ever  used  to, 
And  begging  as  a  special  favor 
Some  more  of  the  exact  same  flavor. 

Zounds!  cried  the  Brewer,  that's  a  task 
More  difficult  to  grant  than  ask, 
Most  gladly  would  I  give  the  smack 

Of  the  last  beer  to  the  ensuing, 
But  where  am  I  to  find  a  Black, 

And  boil  him  down  at  every  brewing  ? 

A  Hair  Question.— A  Colored  Confab. 


J    /v>,»2>— <  Why  you  hab  your  hair  parted  in  de.  middle,  you  swell 

c  igger  ?' 

i  "  Cuff-  '•  Kase  it's  de  fashun  wid  all  what  respecks  demselves,  you 
tfld-heftdnd  embodiment  ob  blacking,  you.     But  what  is  de  -liflerence 
potween  your  hair  and  mine,  Pomp  ?" 
,  Pomp—"  Gibs  it  up." 
Cu£— "My  hair  is  parted  in  de  middle,  and  your'n  is  de-parted  I 

Negro    Wit 

,  A  planter  in  Maiden,  Massachusetts,  had  a  slave  who  nad  been  ID 
l  is  family  until  he  was  about  seventy  years  of  age.  Perceiving  thai 
t  icre  was  not  much  work  for  the  old  man,  the  planter  spoke  to  him 

ne  day  to  the  following  effect : — 

\  "  Yoa  have  been  a  faithful  servant,  Sambo,  to   me,  and  my  fathei 
before  me.     I  have  lor.g  had  thoughts  of  irwanlhi:;  you  for  your  ser- 
vices.    I  give  you  now   your  fit-cdnm       Von   an;  your  own  master 
, 


k 


ffi 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


The  old  negro  listened  attentively  to  this  discourse  ;  when  it  was 
concluded  he  shook  his  grisly  head,  and,  with  a  sly  glance,  showing 
that  he  saw  through  his  master's  intentions,  replied : — 

"No,  no,  inassa;  you  eat  de  meat,  and  now  you  must  pick  tie 
bone." 

Nigger  Powder. 

hat  a  funny  name  is  yours,  Sambo." 

"  Es,  sir,  berry  funny — but  I  got  christened  Pow 

der  Magazine  for  a  'ticular  object." 
"  What  was  that,  Sambo  ?" 
"CosMassa.   who    is  very  hot-tempered,   darn't 

blow  him  up.' 

Nigger  Philosophy. 

"  Cuffee,  which  do  you  tink  de  most  useful  of  de , 
planets,  de  sun  or  de  moon?" 

Sambo.  I  think  the  moon  orter  take  the 
fus  rank  in  dat  ar'  'tickler." 

:<  Wha,  wha,  wha,  why  do  you  tink  so,  Cuffee?") 
"  Well,  I  tell  you — kase  she  shines  by  night  wher 
we  want  light,  and  de  sun  shines  by  day,  when  we 
do  not" 

"Well,  Cuff,  you  is  the  grea-est  nigger  I  knows  on— dat'p  »  real] 
fac." 

Negro   Wit 

"Jack,"  said  a  gentleman  to  an  old  neerrp  who  was  rather  lazily! 
engaged  in  clearing  the  snow  from  his  premises — "  Jack,  my  old  boy,i 
you  dont  get  along  with  this  job  very  fast." 

'  Why  master,"  replied  Jack,  scratching  his  wool,  "  pretty  consider- 
able for  an  old  man,  I  guess ;  and  I  conceit  myself  that  I  can  cleaii 
more  snow  away  in  dese  here  short  days,  dan  de  spryest  nigger  J 
dis  city  could  do  in  de  longest  summer  day  as  ever  was."  ' 


day 
You  not  so  berry  fat,  after  all. 

field  slave  in  the  south  one  daj 
found  in  his  trap  a  plump  rabbi? 
He  took  him  out  alive,  held  hir 
under  his  arm,  patted  him  and  be-l 
gan  to  speculate  on  his  good  qual< 
ities.  1 

"Oh,   how  fat— berry  fat— the} 
fattest  I   eber  did  see  I     Let 
see  how  I'll  cook    him.     I 
him  ?     No  ;  he  so  fat  he  lose 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVIL&  26 

de  grease!  I  fry  him?  Ah,  yes!  He  so  berry  fat  he  fry  himself! 
Qofly,  how  fat  he  be !  No ;  I  won't  fry  Mm — I  stew  him  I 

The  thought  of  the  savory  stew  made  the  negro  forget  himself,  and 
in  spreading  out  the  feast  in  his  imagination,  his  arms  relaxed,  *vhen 
off  hopped  the  rabbit;  and,  squatting  at  a  goodly  distance,  he  eyed 
his  late  owner  with  cool  composure. 

The  negro  knew  there  was  an  end  of  the  stew,  and  summoning  up 
til  his  philosophy,  he  thus  addressed  the  rabbit,  at  the  same  tune 
haking  his  fist  at  him : 

"You  long-eared,  white- whiskered  rascal — you  not  so  berry  fat 
arterall!" 


Old  Ginger  Orow 


Old  Ginger  Crow, 

Him  come  from  Alabama ; 
Old  Ginger  Crow, 

Him  downy  as  a  hammer. 
Racoon's  tail  am  berry  long, 

Monkey's  nose  am  blue ; 
Oh!  Missy  Dinah 

Chickafcbiddy  Coo! 

Chorus. 
Walk  Ginger  Crow 

Jenny,  oh,  my  I 

Old  Johnny  Walker, 

Hit  him  in  de  eye. 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVTI& 

Dinah's  legs  am  like  de  mop ; 
Her  feet  am  like  de  shovel  i 
All  her  lily  picaninnies 


Ugly  as  de  debble. 
hi  if  I 


Oh  1  if  I  was  in  old  Kentuck, 

As  sure  as  eggs  am  eggs, 
I'd  punch  dat  sassy  nigger  Sam 

And  pull  him  by  de  legs. 

Walk  Ginger  Grow,  *& 

Old  Ginger  Crow  was  taken  ill — 

It  wasn't  long  ago — 
Dem  say  it  was  de  toothache 

Attack  him  in  de  toe. 
And  now  de  poor  old  boy  am  dead, 

And  in  him  grave  am  laying ; 
And  so  de  niggers  can't  insult  him 

Any  more  by  saying — 

Walk  Ginger  Crow, 

Jenny,  oh,  my' 
Old  Johnny  Walker 

Hit  him  in  de  eye  I 

Substraction. 

"  Sambo,  'spose  dere  is  six  chickens  in  a  coop,  and  the  man  Bella 
three,  how  many  is  dere  left?" 

"  What  time  ob  day  was  it  ?" 

"What  hab  Jat  got  to  do  wid  it?" 

"  A  good  deal.  If  it  was  after  dark,  dere  would  be  none  left,  dat 
is,  if  you  happened  to  come  along  dat  way." 

"Look  heah,  nigga,  stop  dem  personalities,  or  I'll  shove  a  brick  at 
dat  head  ob  yourn." 

The  real  Ethiopian  Serenaders,  or  the  first  that  extracted  Note 

(Bank}  from  Bones. 


Dl 


of 


BLACK  JOKES  FOlt  BLUK  UK  VILA  Bl 

Trick  of  a  Negro  Ventriloquist. 

A  night  or  two  since  an  officer   of  the  Sixth  ward  in  Philadelphia 
<>rhauied   a  colored   individual   who  was  coining  away  iroua  the 
7  with  a  coil  of  rope.     Darkey    was  questioned  as  to  where  he 
the  chattels,  and  he  replied  that  he  was  a  hand  on  the  steamboat 
rest,  and  that  both  the  rope  and  the  custodian  were  "  all  right"— 
'b|e  officer  turned  ebony  to  the  right  about,  and  both  went  together 
u  board  the  boat     Nobody  was  in  sight,  and  the  darkey  went  boldly 
•gangway,  and  shouted  out: 
;' Hello  w,  Bill!" 

'  Hellow  it  is  I"  came  a  response,  in  a  gruff,  sepulchral  tons,  which 
tz  would  have  envied,  and  wliieh  seemed  to  emerge  from  the  depth 
the  steamer. 


stc 


til 


u 


'  Come  up  on  deck,  right  away,  Bill ;  dere's  a  police  got  me  for 
alin'  dis  rope !" 

'Ay!  ay  I"  again  shouted  the  gruff  voice — "jist  wait,  can't  you, 
I  git  on  my  trousis  ?" 
r*'  Well,  pull  a  heel  den,  and  be  quifk,  for  I  wants  to  be  off." 
'  Tliis   colloquy  served  to  measurably   satisfy  the  officer,  and  he  re- 
Ijixed  his  watchfulness  over  his  prisoner.     The   latter  embraced  the 
Opportunity  to  take  his  leave  slyly,  and  he  took  the  coil  of  rope  with 
h|iui.     The  officer  meantime  became  tired   of  waiting,  and  went  in 
search  of  his  voucher  for  his  late  prisoner.     After  considerable  trouble 
3f  man  who  was  sleeping  below  was  roused  up  and  questioned  con- 
kerning  the  colored  man  and  the  coil  of  rope.     The  sleepy  individual 
u  vowed  he  knew  nothing  about  either,  and  the  officer  finally  ascer- 
Lnined  that  he  had  been  sold  by  a  thief  who  possessed  first-class  ven^ 
jiloquial  power. 

No  Trutti  in  Him. 

"  Jim,  I  bolieve  Sam's  got  no  truth  in  him." 

"  You  don't  know  nigga ;  dere's  more  truth  in  dat  rugger  dan  all  dfc 

s'  on  de  plantation." 

r  How  do  you  make  dat  ?" 

j'  Why,  him  never  let  any  out,  do  he  ?" 

Cattis  Philosophy. 

f"Cato  what  do  you  suppose  .9  the  reason  that  the  sun  goes  to  the 
gnith  in  the  winter  ?'" 

"  "Well,  I  don't  know,  rnassa,  unless  he  no  stand  de  clemency  o) 
lt  uorf,  and  so  am  obliged  to  go  to  de  souf,  where  he  eperiences  wanner 
jo;igimitude." 

A  Saucy  Niyger. 

;  Matter :  "  Sam,  where's  the  hoe?" 
iSam:  "  Wid  de  harrow. 


32  BLACK  JOKES  FOE  BLUE  DEVIUS. 

Master :  "  Well,  where's  the  harrow  ?" 
Sam :  "  Wid  de  hoe  I" 

Master :  "  Well,  then,  where's  the  hoe  and  harrow  both  T 
Sam:  "Vy,  both  togedder,  massa;  what  you  want  u>  bodder 
Sam  dat  way  for?" 

Master :  tfQo  to  the !" 

Sam:  "  Arter  you,  massa ." 

A  Novel  Depot 


"  Look  here,  Pete,"  said  a  knowing  darkey  to  his  companion,   'don't 
•tan'  on  de  rail-road." 

'•Why,  Joe?" 

"  Kase  ef  de  cars  see  dat  mouf  ob  yourn,  dey  will  tink  it  am 
depo'  an'  run  rite  in  1" 

A  Slave's  Idea  of  Spiritual  Salvation. 

slave,  who  was  a   "professor,"   plagued  his  ma 
very  nrnoh  by   ais  persistence  in  certain  immoj 
practices,  and  he  requested  a  clergyman  to  convey 
with  him,  and  try  to  reform  him.     The  clergymi 
did  so,  and  endeavored  to  bring  the  terrors  of  the  la! 
to  bear  upon  his  conscience. 

"Look  yeah,  massa,"  said  the  backslider,  "  dpnt 
de  Scripture  say,  '  Dem  who  believe  and  is  baptised 
'shall  be  saved  ?" 

"  Certainly,"  the  clergyman  answered,  and  went  on  to  explain 
expound  the  passage ;  but  directly  the  slave  interrupted  him  again. 

"  Jus  you  tell  me  now  massa,  don't  de  good  book  say  dese  -™1*' 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUE  DMVILS.  38 

/ 

Dem  as  believes  and  is  baptise  shall  be  save;'  want  to  know  dat." 
"  Yes,  but " 

\  "Dat's  all  I  wan  to  know,  sar;  now  wat's  de  use  o'  *alkin'  to  me? 
Y/ou  ain't  goin'  to  make  me  bleve  wat  de  blessed  Lord  says  ain't  so, 
n/bt  ef  you  try  forever." 

The  clergyman  again  attempted  to  explain,  but  tte  negro  would 
[Act  allow  him,  and  as  often  as  he  got  back  to  the  judgment  day,  or 
was  charging  him  with  sin,  and  demanding  reformation  he  would' in- 
tlerrupt  him  in  the  same  way. 

('  "De  Scripture  say,  if  a  man  believe  and  be  b&ptise,  he  shall — he 
tLall  be  save.  Now,  massa  minister,  I  d&ne  believe  and  I  done  bap- 
Dse,  an'  1  shall  be  saved  sartin — dere's  no  use  Ulkin',  sir." 

(    Ah !  this  is  the  form  of  my  ewn  dear  angel — one*   seer, 
never  to  be  forgotten  I 


Two- Forty. 

Charles  Edmondson  and  Peter  Freeman,  two  members  of  the  col 
•ed  aristocracy  of  the  city,  were  brought  in  tor  fighting  at  the  foo 
if  Grand  street.     It  appears  that  for  some  time  there  has  been  con 
fjiderablc  jealousy  between  these  two  individuals,  from  the  fact  thai 
the  affections  of  both  have  unfortunately  fixed  upon  the  same  sable 
female.     The  lady  has  been  undecided  which  to  choose,  not  having 
yet  settled  in  her  mind  which  is  the  most  of  a  match.     Freeman  haa 
a  monopoly  of  the  bill-slicking  business  in  that  vicinity,  and  Edmond- 
son possesses  the  exclusive  patronage  of   those  in   that  neighborhood 
who  have  wood  to  saw.     Each  is  the  owner  of  all  the  tools  for  carry. 
ing  on  a  heavy  business   in    his   own   peculiar  line — said  implements 
consisting  in  the  one  case  of  a  paste  pail,  whitewash  brush  and  step- 


54  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 

ladder ;  and  ii  the  other  of  a  wood-horse,  buck-saw,  greaser,  leat&er 
knee-pal  and  pair  of  buckskin  mittens.     This  property  is  all  believed 
to  be  unincumbered  and  paid  for,  although  there  is  a  rumor  that  a  ojar 
tain  clam-woman  has  a  mortgage  on  the  paste-brush,  to  secure  a  d^bt 
of  one  and  sixpence  for  shell-tish  devoured,  but  not  settled  tor    by 
Freeman.     There  was  no  personal  beauty  in  the  case  to  apeak  of,   or 
if  there  was  it  was  not  visible  to  the  naked  eye.     As  the  capricioua 
belle  upon  whom  they  lavished  so  much  affection  and  so  many  red 
ibbons,  had  shown  no-  decided  preference  for  either,  but  had  treated 
oth  with  more  than  usual  friendship,  there  was  considerable  excited 
feeling  between  the  two.     No  hostilities  had  been  declared  by  eithei 
tide,  but  it  was  well  understood  that  the  two  were  not  a  colored  reil- 
\zation  of  Damon  and  Pythias.     On  Thursday  morning  they  met  O/P 
she  dock,  and  after  some  bantering  about  strength,  speed,  and  agility 
i  dispute  arose  which  was  to  be  settled  by.  a  foot  race. 
The  race  is  described  by  a  policeman  who  was  present 
The  parties  prepared  for  the  contest  by  taking  off  their  boots  and 
nats,  and  rolling  their  pantaloons  up  above  their  knees;  both  then 
look  a  long  drink  of  corn  whiskey,  through  separate  straws,  out  ojf  • 
barrel  which  was  near,  and  declared  themselves  ready  to  start  from  a 
certain  pile  of  timbers  and  run  forty  rods  to  the  whiskey  barrel,  t&ke, 
i  suck,  and  run  back.     One  judge  was  stationed  on  the  timbers,   to  '< 
tee  that  the  start  was  all  right,  and  one  on  the  barrel  to  see  that  each 
drank  his  share. 


first  Heat:  Charley  ahead  till  Pete  caught  him  by  the  alack  of 
Beeches  and  pulled  him  back;  Pete  reached  the  barrel  first,  got  h 
st  ^.w  in  the  hole  and  took  his  drink  before  Charley  could  pick  hin 
i^'  up  ;  on  the  return  track  he  stubbed  his  tod  on  a  spike,  but  got  ' 
_>  ime  to  win. 

Second  Heat  :  Started  fair  ;  race  pretty  even  to  the  barrel  ;  straw 
ti  together;  ooth  took  long  drinks  ;  on  the  home  stretch  Charley'* 
Btr  ught  pins  proved  too  much  for  Pete's  bandy  legs,  and  he  wor> 
ef  -y. 

Third  Heal:  Foul  start;  Pete  .alls  down,  Charley  tumbles  ever 
hta,  and  both  rolled  into  a  little  puddle  of  molasses  ;  extricated  bj' 
ol  /cious  friends;  both  tired;  both  keep  anxious  eye  on  the  whiskey 
ot/rel;  both  hurry  up;  most  there;  Charley  trips  Pete,  who  pitches 


I 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BL  rF  DKVTLS 


at> 


I 


•oth  welt  away  at  each  otlier  till  separated  by  the  officers  and  led  to 
\he  Station-house ;  race   undecided  ;  bets  drawn  ;  whisky  suffers — 
nd  the  fight  ain't  settled. 
Justice  let  them  both  go  and  wished  them  better  luck  next  time. 

Sharp  Practice, 

ut  in  the  west  a  sable  knight  of  the  lather  and 
brush  was  performing  the  operation  of  shaving 
a  customer  with  a  very  dull  razor. 

"  Stop,"said  the  customer,  "  that  won't  do." 

"  What's  de  matter,  boss  ?" 

"The  razor  pulls." 

"  Well,  no  matter  for  dat,  sah.  If  de  handle 
ob  de  razor  don't  break,  the  beard's  bound  to 
come  offl" 

A  Deaf  Nigger. 

"  Why  am  you  like  Tom  Moore  ?"  said 
Congo,  shouting  into  Quaco's  ear. 

"  Who  am  Tom  Moore  ?    Me  nebber  bean1 
— ob  him." 

"You   rigromamus,  him  mighty    big  Irisl 

don't  know.  Congo,  give  it  up." 
"  Why,  because  you  are  debarred  of  hearin'  (de  bard  of  Erin.)" 

An   Unaccountable  Pig. 
'Socrates,  yon  nigger,  have  you  fed  the  pigs?" 
"  Yes,  massa,  me  feed  um." 
"Did  yon  count  them?" 
''  Yes,  raassa,  me  count  um  a'l  but  one." 
'•All  but  one?" 

"  Yes,  massa,  all  but  one ;  dere  be  one  little  speckle  pig,  he  frisk 
bout  so  much  me  couldn't  count  him  /" 

A  Black  Lad-der. 

"  Mass  Torn  I  Mass  Tom !  Oh,  Mass  Tom  I  how&e  1  gwine  to  ge 

down  dis  laddor  ?" 

"  Come  down  the  same  way  you  went  up,  you  blockhead  I"  replied 
he  master,  running  up  to  see  what  was  the  matter. 
"  De  same  way  as  I  come  up,  Mass  Tom  ?" 
'  Yes,  coi/ound  you  I  and  don't  bother  me  any  more." 
'  Well,  if  1  must,  I  must!"  and  down  came  the  little  darkey  boat 

'foremost 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUK  DKVILB. 
Getting  n,p  a  Shine. 


IZ 


Converting  a  tough  Nigger 

A  colored  preacher  at  the  South   was  having  a  revival-  »  ''  power'  I 
till  time" — and  trot  all  the  negroes  jn  the  vicinity  into  a  serious  mood/  ', 
Only  one  hold  out.     Coon  Squash,  a  notoriously  hard  case   in  hot? 
head  and  heart — for  he  had  been  known  to  butt  a  hole  in  a  lime-kilnj 
and  had  the  heart  to  eat  rattlesnakes.     He  attended  service,  however] 
with  great  regularity,  but  could  not  be  brought  to   his  knees.     OnpM 
night  the  preacher  determined   to  ''fetch  him  down,"  and  went  at  iy 
in  a  powerful  prayer.     He  first  told  how  sinful  Coon  was  in  shutting 
up  the  bars  of  his  heart  to  keep  the  Spirit  out,  and  ^holding   up  his 
head  as  stiff  as  a  sugar-house  stack.     Old  Coon  began  to  think  he 
a  hard  case,  and  so  resolved  to  unbend  a  little,  and  lean  his  head 
ward  on  his  hand.     Then  the  preacher  took  hope  and  waxed  warmer, 
telling  Coon  that   one   bar  being  down,  to   let   down  another,  and  see 
how  he  would  feel.     To  this  Coon  assented,  and  placed  his  face  in  his 
hands  and  shut  himself  up  like  a  jack-knife.     Then  the  prtacher  came 
down  in  his  grandest  swoop,  and  cried : 

"  Now,  Coon,  de   bottom  bar  1    git  down   on   your  kne^s  and   open 
it  I" 

Down  went  Coon  upon   his  knees,  and  up  went  such  a  shout  from 


luua 

)  hi  A 
was/ 

foN 


WLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  E  EVILS 

the  ijr*acher  and  his  people  as  convinced  outsiders  that  the  bars  wem 
all  oiowiu  and  that  Coon  was 


"  High  Sudron  Ground." 

In  California,  the  negro  servant  of  an  army  officer  punished  another 
wooly.     Being  asked  why  he  did  so,  he  said  : 

'De  fact  is,  massa,  dat  are  nigga  was  one  ob  dem  New  York  free 
niggers.     He  'suited  me.  and  I  had  to  take  high  Sudron  ground  wid 

fciin." 

A  Large  "  Bill  "  far  a  small  Darlceg  no  mesi. 


he 


A  Rise  in  Niggers. 

pie  Nashville  (Tennessee)  Gazette  says  :  "A  few  weelra  ago  dunfcg 
thp  existence  of  the  patrol  regulations,  and  talk  about  nigger  risings, 
*r»  old  negro  man  was  found  secreted  in  a  piece  of  woods'a  few  miles 
m  town,  evidently  laboring  under  great  fear  and  trepidation.  On 
wc  J  asked  why  he  was  there,  he  said  he  was  afraid  to  stay  al  the 
noase  where  he  belonged,  and  which  was  close  by. 
i'  What  are  you  afraid  of?"  was  asked. 

Why,"  he  said,  "  Old  Missus  has  gone  to  bed  with  a  pistol  on  one 
•*  a  great  big  knife  on  the  other,  and  I'm  afraid  she'll  rue/" 

A  Nigger  on  a  Stump. 

im  Wilson  was  one  of  the  best  pilots  on  the  Missis- 
sippi, but  proud  of  his  place  and  cranky,  lie  had 
the  misfortune  to  run  his  boat  smack  up  agams>  the 
bank  one  morning,  in  a  dense  fog,  and  could  see  on- 
ly a  little  nigger  sitting  on  a  stump,  mulching  a  bi4 
of  corn  bread. 

"  Whose  place  is  this  ?    cried  the  j«lot 
"  Massa' s,"  said  the  nigger. 
"  Well,  who's  your  master?' 
"  Why,  de   gemman  what  owns  de  place,"  an- 
swered the  Lttle  fellow. 

You  rascal!"  roared  the  pilot,  "I'd  crop  your  ears  off  if  I  had  you 
.e!" 

"Yes,  but  you  ain't  got  me  dar,"  shouted   little  tug.  as   the  pilot 
eked  out  and  escaped  from  the  shore  and  the  wif  of  the  boy. 


bai 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 


Exhibiting  a  Monkey. 

"  Sambo,  why  is  yow  legs  like  an  organ-grinder  f 

11  Dunno ;  gib  it  up." 

"  Case  dey  exhibit  a  monkey  'bout  de  streets."  \ 

Black  Toast 

A  negro  once  gave  following  toast : 

"De  late  Gubernor  ob  de  State — him  come  in  wid  berry  HIM*  ,of 
ositicn,  him  go  out  wid  none  at  all." 

An  Opening  for  "  a  nice  young  man  "  (colored.) 


L 


Taking  Notes. 

A  great  many  years  ago,"  when  there  were  slaves  in  MassachuseWa! 
and  some  of  the  best  men  in  the  community  owned  them,  there  ^^ 
a  clergyman  in  a  town  in  Essex  County,  whom  we  will  call  Mr.  Cc,^ 
.well,  who  had  an  old  and  favorite  servant  by  the  name  of  Cuffee.  l^g 
(was  often  the  case,  Cuffee  had  as  much  liberty  to  do  as  he  please^  ^ 
anybody  else  in  the  house,  and  he  probably  entertained  a  high  res] 
for  himself.     Cuffee  on    the  Sabbath  might  have  been  seen  in 
minister's  pew,  looking  round  with  a  grand  air,  and  so  far  as  appe 
ance  indicated,  proating  quite  as  much  by  his  master's  preaching 
many  others  about  him.     Ouffee  noticed  one  Sunday  morning  t 
several  gentlemen  were  taking  notes  of  the  sermon,  and  he  determ 


ed  to  do  the  same  thing. 
paper  and  pen  and  ink. 
his  pew, 


So  in  the  afternoon  he  brought  a  sheet 
The  minister,  happening  to  look  down  ii 


,  could  hardly  maintain  his  gravity  as  he  saw  his  negro  "spre 
his  task,  with  one  side  of  his  face  nearly  touching  the  pap 
aud  hi*  tongue  thrust  out  of  hip  mouth.     Cuffee   kept  it  his  not 


out'1  to 


at 
a- 
ol 
ito 
ad 
er, 

38, 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILa 


33 


r,  until  the  sermon  was  concluded,  knowing  nothing,  and 
ear/ing  as  little  about  the  wonderment  of  his  master.  When  the  min- 
jgtyBr  reached  home  he  sent  for  Cuffee  to  come  into  his  study. 

(l<  Well,  Cuffee,"  said  he  "what  were  you  doing  in  meeting  this  af- 
ta*  noon  ?" 

"  Doing,  Massa?     Taking  notes,"  was  his  reply. 
1  You  taking  notes!"  exclaimed  the  master. 
"  Sartin,  massa  ;  all  the  gentleman  take  notes." 
"  Well,  let  me  see  them,    said  Mr.  Cogswell. 

/  Cuffee  thereupon  produced  his  sheet  of  paper,  and  his  master  founo 
^scrawled  all  over  with  all  sorts  of  marks  and  lines,  as  though  a  doe- 
eiji  spiders  dipped  in  ink  had  inarched  over  it. 

"  Why,  this  is  all  nonsense,"  said  the  minister,  as  he  looked  at  the 
«  notes. 

j"  Well,  maaea,  reulied  Cuffee,  "  I  thought  so  all  the  time  you 
p,  f  caching.  ' 

/Sally  Rice. 
"Oh,  Sally  Rice, 
I've  called  you  twice, 

And  you  lie  and  snore  I 
I  pray  you  wake, 

And  see  your  Jake, 
And  ope  to  him  the  door  or  window 
1  don't  care  much  which,  for 
It  makes  but  little  difference 

To  either  you  or  I  — 
•\  Big  pig,  little  pig, 

Root,  nog,  or  die  I" 


Rice  in  Full  Dress., 


%0          BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS- 

A  "  Sparalized "  Colored  Pussoii. 

'  A  fine,  robust,  and  well-dressed  slave  was  arraigned  for  beiugl  out 
m  the  street  after  nine  o'clock  in  the  evening  without  a    pass.Uod 
being  found  drunk  on  the  sidewalk.     The  policeman  stated  the  c^ 
when  Tom's  master   interposed,  and  stated  that  it  was  the  first  Ume 
Tom  had  ever  been  drunk,  and  that  he  was  a  faithful  and  trustworthy 
servant.     The  Mayor  said  it  was  too  grave  an  oflence  to  pass  by,  a  a 
that  he  should  be  obliged  to  impose  the   heavy  fine   of  twenty-flv 
dollars  upon  Tom.     Before  passing  sentence  Tom  was  called  upon  fo, 
his  excuse,  which  he  gave  as  follows : 

"  Well,  Massa  Mayor,  dis  nigger  was  just  gwme  home  from  (,he 
meetin'  of  de  Lord,  strate  and  honest,  and  dat  debble,  Old  Smit,  si ^d 
to  dis  nigger  dat  he  had  a  leetle  ob  de  best  o-be-joyful  in  his  shd)p) 
and  dat  it  would  do  dis  nigger  good,  and  make  him  jist  the  most  h^p. 
pined  nigger  in  the  whole  South.  So  dis  nigger  took  a  suck,  and  j^s 
nigger  arter  dat  was  'mazing  useless,  and  was  tuke — tuke — <ie  wd)r(j 
can?t  gib  'em ;  massa  knows  him — but  it  don't  come  quite — sparaM.e(j 
—dat's  it— and  he  knowed  nothing  at  all  dis  morning— dis  old  nigger 
was  laid  out  in  de  watchhouse,  with  his  hat,  dat  massa  gib  him,  mj)8t 
offoolry  discum-fuzzled— and  dis  nigger  don't  know  nothing  abou  it 
— dat's  de  trute,  massa,  as  dis  nigger  hopes  to  die." 
This  eloquent  pleading  had  due  eflect  upon  the  Mayor,  who  sai..j: 
u  Well,  Tom,  I  will  only  fine  you  fine  you  five  dollars  this  tinU 

vhich  you  must  pay  or  be"  flogged.     Tom  looked  the  verv  picture  -,j 

U-spair,  but  his  master   said  he  did  not  want  Tom  flonffed,  and /|    . 

vould   pay  the  fine  himself  and   did  so— and  old   Tom  was  let  ofl 

lappy,  joyous,  and  no  doubt  an  improved  nigger. 

Colored  Dust 

little  boy   who  had  an  "inquiring  mind''  ca; 
home  from  the  Sabbath-school  one  day,  and  mep 
ing  his  mother,  the  following  dialogue  took 

"Mamma!" 

"  Well  my  dear." 

"  Mamma,  the  teacher  says  people  are 
dust" 

"  Yes,  my  dear,  so  the  Bible  says." 

"  Well,  mama,  are  white  people  made 

"  Yes." 

"Well,  then,  I  s'pose  colored  people  are 
coal-dust,  airit  they?" 

A  Darkey's  Security 

Some  few  weeks  ago  I  strolled  into  the  counting-room  of  a  frier1  id. 
He  being  absent  I  commenced  a  chat  with  his  clerk,  when  a  gocrxL- 
looking  "  cullud  pusson''  entered,  dolled  his  castor,  and  said : 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


as'  Bob,  can  you  len'  me  a  quarter  till  dis  afternoon,  and  I 

J'bu  sartin  V 

<W  Bob  applied  his  dexter  to  his  vest  pocket,  but  it  made  "no 

•  /     I  turned. 

"  Well.  Buck,  you  look  tolerably  honest;  but,  as  I  don't  know  you, 
if  y°jii  will  give  me  security,  I'll  lend  you  tne  quarter." 
'I'js  eye  brightened  as  he  asked: 

i  Mas  Bob,  will  y.ou  go  my  s'curity  ?" 
"  JYes,"  replied  P":V 

forked  over.     Some  time  afterward,  wenaing  tne  same  way,  as  i 

about  to  enter  the  office,  the  identical  Buck  stood  before  me. 
'  ;Buck,  where's  my  quarter  ?     You  didn't  pay  as  you  promised  " 
'•No,  sah,  but  I  give  you  sxurity." 
"  .Well,  I  want  you  to  pay  me — I  lent  you  the  quarter." 
"  'pat's  true,  sah ;  but  it  am  de  custom  down  here  to  'zaust  tne 


A  Nigger's  Idea  of  the  Telegraph, 


left, 


•1; 


A  ;t  the  railway  depot  in  Lowell  not  long  since, 
"Look  a  hea,  Jake,"  said  Sambo,  his  eyes  dilating  and  his  rows  ol 
thming  teeth  protruding  like  a  regiment  of  pearls,  "Look  a  haa,  Jake 
wh  U  vou  call  dem  ar  ?" 

"W*hat  ar  ?"  rejoined  Jake. 
Dem  ar  I  is  pintin  to." 
'  Dem  ar  is  posts,"  said  Jake. 
'}  wii^t !"  said  Sambo,  scratching  his  head ;      dem  ar  poeta  wid  ic 


es,  de  same  idencical,"  returned  Jake. 
b,  rr^t  you  **ees  dera  ar  horizontal  wires." 
tP     i*  *erved  Jake,  "  de  rx.-sts  support  de  wirew." 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUK  DEVIL8. 


"  Gosh  I  I  takes  you  nigger,"  ejaculated  Sambo,  clapping  his 
both  setting  up  a  loud  yah  yah. 

"  But  what's  de  wires  for  ?"  said  Sarnbo,  after  a  pause. 

"  De  wires,"  replied  Jake,  completely  staggered  for  a  moment 
.  t  a  nonplus  for  a  reply  to  the  philosophic  curiosity  of  brother 
i  o  ;  but  suddenly  lighting  up  with  more  than  nigger  fire,  he  said  : 


"  De  wires  is  for  to  keep  the  posts  up'J" 

Circular   Work. 


£ 


"Sambo,"  what's  yer  up  to  now  a  days?" 

"(X  I'se  a  carpenter  and  jiner." 

"Ho !  I  guess  yer  is.  What  department  does  yer  perform,  Sambo  ] 

"  What  department  ?     I  does  de  circular  work." 

"  What's  dat?" 

"  Why,  I  turns  de  grinstone." 

Genuine  Ethiopian  Serenaders, 


Keep  off  dem  Bricks. 

A  negro  passing  under  a  scaffolding  where  some  repairs  were  goin/g 
on,  a  brick  Ml  from  above  on  his  head,  and  was  broken  by  the  falL4- 
Sambo  v^ry  coolly  raised  his  head  and  exclaimed : 

"  Hallo,  you  white  man  up  dar.  if  you  don't  want  your  bri'ks  broke  i, 
just  keep  'em  off  my  head  I" 


BLACK  JOKES  FOE  BLUE  DEV1L&  43 

de  Writing 


*  Massa,"  said  the  black  steward  to  his  Captain,  as  they  fell  in  with 
•  nomeward  bound  vessel,  "  I  wish  you'd  write  a  few  hues  for  me  to 
send  to  the  old  woman,  because  I  can't   write." 

"Ceitainly,"  said  the  good-natured  skipper,  taking  his  writing  ma- 
terials ;  "  now  what  shafl  I  say  ?" 

Pompey  told  the  story  which  he  wished  his  wife  to  know,  whicl: 
lis  amanuensis  faithfully  recorded. 

"  Is  that  all,  Pomp  ?"  asked  the  Captain,  preparing  to  seal  the  letter 

"  Yes,  massa,  replied  he,  showing  his  ivory,  "  tank  you,  but   'fore 
f  ou  close  him,  jist  say,  please  'scuse  bad  spelling  and  writing,  will  ye  '' 

The  Captain  appended  the  postscript  as  desired." 

"  Defuss  shalLbe  lass — and  de  lass  shall  be  fuss." 

N  old  negro  in  Connecticut,  who  had 
always  been  very  constant  in  attend- 
ing church,  and  prided  himself  fur- 
thermore in  being  the  first  there, 
happened  to  be  detained  far  beyond 
the  usual  hour  one  morning. 

"  John,"  said  CufFe,  as  he  stood 
carding  his  wool  for  the  occasion, 
"  hab  the  kindness  to  tell  me  what 
o'clock  him  be." 

"  Can't  tell  you,  CufFe,  de  clock 
I  should  tink  it  am  pretty  considera- 

wouldn't  be  exprised  if  'twar  half  an  hour 

top  o'  dat,"  returned  Cuffe,  and  hurried  to  church 
as  fast  as  his  bandy  legs  would  carry  him.  He  entered  toward  the 
end  of  the  sermon,  just  as  the  parson  was  reiterating  the  text  for  the 
lost  time : 

"(The  last  shall  be  first,  and  the  first  shall  be  last  _ 
Cfuffe  turned  upon  his  heel,  and  went  out,  exclaiming : 
"Dat  means  me  ;  I  come  last  but  Ise  out  russer,  anyhow;  de  next 
:im<b  dis  nigger  goes  late  to  meeting,  he  no  go  at  all." 

Bread  and  Butter. 

"  William  Henry,  I  hab  made  up  my  mind  to  get  married  soon." 
,"  Why,  who  to,  Gabe  ?" 
,"  Well,  de  same  old  gal  dat  I've  been  going  to  see  for  dis  last  Ere 


are." 


1  Whai^-Aunie  ?" 

V  Yes,  my  dear  Annie. 

"While  belles  dar  lubly  graces  speak 
And  fops  around  dem  flutter, 
I'll  be  content  wid  Anna  Bread 
And  won't  hab  any  but  her." 


44  BLACK  JOKEfc  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Experimenting  far  Safety. 

A  man  travelling,  entered  a  tavern,  and  seeing  no  one  present  but 
the  landlord  and  a  negro,  seated  himself  and  entered  into  conversation 
with  the  negro.  Shortly  he  asked  Sambo  if  he  was  dry.  Sambo  said 
he  was.  Stranger  told  him  to  go  to  the  bar  and  take  something  at  his 
expense.  Negro  did  go,  and  shortly  left.  Landlord  says  to  the 
trauger. 

"  Are  you  acquainted  with  that  nigger? 

"  No,  never  saw  him  before  ;  bat  why  do  you  ask  ?" 

"  I  supposed  so  from  your  conversing  with  him  and  asking  him  to 
Irink." 

"  Oh,"  said  the  stranger,  "  I  vas  only  experimenting.  The  fact  is 
[  was  dry  myself,  and  I  thoughi  if  your  liquor  did  not  kill  the  negro, 
I  would  venture  to  take  a  drink  myself." 

Landlord's  curiosity  was  fully  satisfied. 

Making  Game  of  a  Lady. 

Mr.  Peabody  was  in  company  wid  his  lady-lub  last  night,  an'  he 
complimented  her  improved  appearance. 

"You  am  guilty  ob  flattery,"  said  de  gal. 

"  No,  no,"  replied  Peabody,  "  for  I  vow  you  am  as  plump  as  a  par 
tridge. 

"At  first,"  said  de  gal,  "I  thought  you  guilty  ob  flattery  only,  but 
you  is  now  actually  making  game  ob  me." 

A   Colored   Gentleman. 

IROIL  Vulcan   Vane,    whose   color  is  much  too 
dark   to  be  politically   orthodox,  whose   mouth 
might  be  converted  into  a  mammoth  cave  by  tne 
mere  removal  of  his  teeth,  whose  eyes  were  ol 
the  color  of  an  East  River  log,  whose  lips  \j?We" 
got  up  without  any  regard  to  economy  in  meat, 
whose  feet  were  so  diminutive  that  he  could  e[asi- 
ly  turn  round  in  Union  Park  if  the  trees  \^ere 
cut  down  and  the  fences  taken  away,  who  \vas 
in  fact  a  huge  darkey  manufactured  on  a  lit 
scale,  at  a  time  when  raw  material  was  cheap 
was  brought  up  for  being  drunk   and  going  u 
sleep  across  Ludlow  street,  thus  stopping  the  tide  of  navigation  through 
that  odorous  thoroughfare. 

His  dress  was  in  the  extreme  ol  fashion,  as  set  by  the  aristocratic 
leaders  of  the  ton — his  panLs  of  the  brightest  green,  his  coat  of  (he 
most  conspicuous  blue,  the  vest  of  the  flashiest  crimson,  the  necker- 
chief of  the  most  unmistakable  yellow,  and  a  check  shirt  adorned 
with  studs,  which  might  have  passed  for  gold  if  the  gilding  hauVt 
been  rubbed  do  wn  to  the 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS.  4» 

The  uncleanly  nature  of  the  bed  on  which  he  had  seen  fit  to  stretch 
his  wearied  limbs  had,  however,  done  something  to  mar  the  brilliant 
effect  of  this  gorgeous  costume.  The  cerulean  coat  was  not  unprov- 
ed by  the  gutter  mud ;  the  pantaloons  had  not  preserved  unsullied 
their  pristine  brightness  amid  the  refuse  of  the  market  upon  which 
they  had  reposed;  the  remains  of  a  too  ripe  peach  was  on  his  shirt- 
collar;  a  decayed  cabbage  had  left  its  imprint  upon  the  resplendant 
vest,  and  from  his  curly  hair,  peppered  with  the  broken  shells,  emana- 
ted the  penetrating  fragrance  of  eggs — eggs,  too,  whose  departed 
youth  and  freshness  had  rendered  them  unfit  for  culinary  purposes. 
But  amid  his  troubles,  Mr.  Vane  preserved  the  dignified  bearing  and 
flowery  language  of  a  person  of  some  educational  pretentions;  indeed 
he  stated  that  he  was  "Perpetual  President  of  the  Colored  Sons  of 
Genius,"  an  association  of  kindred  congenial  literary  men.  His  an- 
swers to  the  questions  of  the  judge  proved  that  he  had  caught  an  ap- 
proximate sound  if  not  the  exact  sense  of  many  words  of  larger  di- 
mensions than  are  generally  in  vogue  among  men  of  his  condition  and 
complexion. 

When  brought  to  the  stand  he  threw   himself  upon  his    scholarly 
dignity  and  launched   at  the  astonished  judge  worda  of  portentioua 
length  and  sound,  as  if  he  intended  to  annihilate  that  estimable  per 
sonage  by  the  sheer  destructive  power  of  the  English  language. 


IROLlH 


1 


Juuge.     What  is  your  name? 

Prisoner  (with  his  thumbs  in  the  armholes  of  hia  vest)     My  cogno- 

sir,  is  Virgil  Vulcan  Vane,  Esq. 
Judge.     The  officer  says  you  were  drunk  yesterday. 
Prisoner.     I  comphatica'uy  denies  that ;  it  was  a  misperception  on  the 
tart  of  that  bobno&ioua  person.     I  know  that  acalawagiouo  M.  P  to 

li**"V     v    t  '     1  »        * 

83 


46  BLACK  JOKES  FOIi  BLUE  DEVILS. 

be  an  obitual  drinhard  his  own  self.  My  conduct,  sir,  i&  open  an  aa 
oyster,  and  I  demands  an  expartial  inscrutigation. 

Officer.     I  found  him  drunk,  lying  down  in  Ludlow  stieet 

Prisoner.     I  indignantly  expuderate  the  allogeration. 

Judge.  His  allegation  is  probably  correct;  did  you  drink  any  kind 
of  liquor  yesterday,Mr.  Vane  ? 

Prisoner.  I  imbibed  one  modest  squencher  behind  the  door,  sub 
oeer,  on  the  sly,  in  the  corner,  without  anybody  seeing;  but  it  wasn't 
nough  to  illtosicate  a  babee,  it  wasn't,  on  my  sacrib  honest. 

Judge.     Where  did  you  get  it? 

Prisoner.  Discuse  me,  sir,  if  I  incline  to  answer  that  last  inquisi- 
tion you  expounded  ;  I  don't  wish  to  discriminate  myself,  nor  infure- 
ate  the  bar-tender  as  occedary  before  it  happened. 

Judge.     You  must  tell,  sir.  i 

Prisoner.     I  can't ;  k's  exscrutinizing  to  my  feelings. 

Judge.     If  you  don't  answer  I  shall  send  you  to  the  cells. 

Prisoner.  Well,  if  I  must  exscarificate  my  bowels  of  confession, 
and  let  the  pussy  out  of  the  pillow  case,  I'll  do  it ;  but  don't  think  I'll 
bear  it  consignedly ;  I'll  complain  of  the  maladministration  of  Justice 
in  this  law  shop ;  I  got  my  whiskey,  sir,  at  Hannibal  Jenk's  in  Watei 
street 

Judge.     I  shall  fine  you  $10. 

Prisoner.  The  cash  can't  be  had,  but  you're  all  a  set  of  the  most 
contemptuous  vagaboduses  that  I  ever  went  anywhere;  I'll  teu  the 
Mayor — 

Judge.     Never  mind  now. 

Mr.  V.  was  led  away  in  a  stupendous  rage. 

"  A  Favor  iU  Placed  is  Great  Waste." 

—Gbf 


The  Dark  Side  of  Matrimuny 

Lately,  a  slave  in  the  United  States  who  had  been  married  tc  an- 
other slave  by  one  of  the  missionaries,  at  the  end  of  three   weeks 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS.  « 

brought  his  wife  back  to  the  clergyman,  and  desired  him  to  take  hei 
fcgain.     The  clergyman  asKed  what  was  the  matter  with  her. 

"  Why,  massa,  she  no  good.     The  book  says  she  obey  me.     She  no 
do  what  I  want  her  to  do." 
.     The  minister  said : 
j    "  But  the  book  says  you  were  to  take  her  for  better  or  for  worse." 

"  Yes,  massa,  but  she  all  worse,  and  no  better.    She  ha'b  too  much 
worse,  and  no  good  "at  all." 

Wenus  in  Contract  with,    Wirgo* 


A  Darkey  Theologian. 

An  old  negro  near  Victoria,  Texa&,  who  was  the  only  Baptist  in 
the  neighborhood,  always  "  stuck  up  for  his  own  faith,  "  and  was 
ready  with  a  reason  for  it,  although  he  was  unable  to  read  a  word. 
This  was  the  way  he  "  put  em  down." 

"  You  kin  read,  now,  keantyou  ?" 

"  Yes." 

'•  Well  I  s'pose  you've  read  the  Bible,  hain't  you  ?" 

"  Yes?' 

"  You've  read  about  John  de  Baptist,  haint  you?" 

"Yes." 

"  Well,  you  never  read  about  John  de  Methodvf    did  you  f 
ee  I  has  de  Bible  on  my  side,  den.     Yah,  ya-a-h  1 

Monheyism. 

"  Ah^  Henry ,  y  5u  ought  to  been  up  to  de  trainine;." 

"Why,  Reuben?" 

"Caee  dar  was  a  berry  witty  auctioneer  there,  trying  to  sell  ac  

hand-organ.  He  was  grinding  out  de  music,  and  de  crowd,  in  sport, 
oegin  to  fro  out  pennies,  when  a  countryman  standing  by,  said : 

' '  Sir,  you  ought  to  hab  a  monkey.' 

"  '  My  good  feller,'  said  de  auctioneer.  '  so  I  had :  step  right  up 
ewe."' 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

A  Tale  of  a  Bear's  Tail 

Sam  and  Sambo,  two  hands  on  a  farm,  had  a  holiday,  and  started 
for  some  fun  in  the  woods.  They  soon  came  to  a  bear's  cave  deep 
among  the  rocks,  and  lighted  only  by  one  hole  above.  They  looked 
in,  and  saw  the  young  cubs  at  the  bottom  of  the  cave,  and  the  moth- 
er gone  It  was  decided  that  Sambo  should  go  in  and  seize  the  cuba 
while  Sam  kept  guard  without.  Sam  was  a  little  negligent  and  the 
bear  had  time  to  squeeze  into  the  hole.  Sam  seized  her  by  the  tail 
«nd  held  on  like  grim  death. 

"  What  for  you  make  it  so  dark  up  dar,  Sam?"  cried  out  Sambo. 

"  Golly  !  if  the  tail  eotce  loose.  I  guess  you'll  know  putty  well  I" 

A  New 


A  negro  had  a  severe  attack  of  rheumatism,  which  finally  settled 
in  his  foot  He  bathed  it,  and  rubbed  it,  and  swathed  it,  but  all  to  no 
purpose. '  Finally  te?.ring  away  the  bandages,  he  stuck  it  out,  and 
with  a  shake  of  his  fist  over  it,  exclaimed: 

"Ache  away,  den,  ole  feller;  ache  away.  I  shan't  do  nuffin  more 
fei  yer  dis  chile  ken  stan'  it  as  long  as  you  ken;  so,  ache  away!" 

A  Hen  "  Willa," 

A  negro,  who  was  set  to  build  a  small  hen-house,  prefaced  the  job 
by  drawing  after  his  rude  manner,  a  picture  of  the  proposed  "hennery" 
with  a  piece  of  chalk  on  a  board.  On  being  laughed  at  for  making  so 
much  fuss  over  so  simple  a  matter,  he  replied  : 

"Ma^ga  Wyman,  when  you  had  your  Willa  built,  didn't  you  payde 
ork'tect  for  a  plan.  Tend  upon  it,  Massa  Wyman,  the  Willa  for  the 
hens  won't  be  none  the  wuss  for  being  skitched  fust.' 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUK  DEVILS.  49 

How  Sambo's  Beauty  was  Ruined, 

correspondent  mentions  that  not  long  ago,  while 
sitting  at  an  inn  in  Baltimore  one  day,  when  he 
Iwas  on  his  way  to  Washington,  he  was   much 
(struck  with  the   singular  appearance  of  an   old 
Guinea  negro,  "  black  as  the  ace  of  spades,"  who 
was  attending  to  some  menial  duty  in  the  trav- 
eller's room.     His  face  was  scarred  and  seamed, 
his  legs  were  dreadfully   awry,    and   his  hands 
seemed  almost  turned  wrong  side  outward,  and 
in  form  and  color  resembled,  more  than  any  one 
thing  else,  the  paws  of  a  wild  animal,  or  the  hand* 
of  an  orang-outang.     Our  informant  inquired  01 
Pompey  what  had  occasioned  these  deformities. 

"  Wai,  dey  is  beformities,  massa,  dat's  fac'.  Wai,  den,  I'll  tell  you 
how  dey  come,  mass.  Good  many  years  ago,  I  was  in  lub  wid  a 
handsum  black  gal,  and  we  was  same  as  married;  and  one  day  I  see 
a  nigger  comin'  out  o'  de  house.  I  knew  dat  man,  and  ef  I  am  a  nig- 
er  I  had  my  feelin's.  I  was  full  ob  de  debbil  in  my  heart  ag'in  him, 
'cos  I  know'd  him,  and  I  know'd  where  he  worked — e'yah!  e'yah  1 
He  worked  in  a  powder  mill ;  and  next  day  I  went  up  dar.  I  went 
to  de  door  and  looked  in,  and  dar  I  see  him  ;  an'  I  took  a  coal  o'  fire 
dat  I  had  brought  along  and  frowed  it  onto  de  floor.  Good  Gwacioua, 
•nassa,  'fore  I  could  get  away  myself,  dere  was  de  biggeat  flash  o' 
liglitnin'  I  ebber  see,  and  dat  was  de  last  I  know'd  anyting  'bout  dat  bu- 
siness for  two  months.  'Twould  a-been  all  right,  dough,  but  de  man 
dat  was  dar  was  not  de  nigger  I  fought !  He's  a  dead  nigger,  hisse'f 
dougn,  long  ago;  and  I  was  glad  ob  it  when  he  went,  'cos  he  always 
looked  at  me  as  if  he'd  got  de  best  ob  it;  and  he  did  got  de  best  ob  it, 
massa,  dat's  fac' ;  for  before  dat  crastrofree  I  was  de  hansumest  nigger 
dat  dar  was  in  Maryland-— dat's  sartin  sure.  E'yah !  e'yah  1" 

Slack  Diamonds. 

"  Yah !  yah !  yah  1  nigger,  you  talk  so  much  'bout  your  countifit 
dollars,  jes  succeed  to  deform  me  why  a  counterfeit  dollar  ia  like  an 
apple  pie  ?" 

"  0, 1  drops  de  subject,  and  doesn't  know  nothing  'bout  it" 

"  Ease  it  isn't  current." 

"  0.  what  a  nigger!     Why  am  your  head  like  a  bag  of  dollars?" 

"  Go  away  from  me — why  am  it  ?" 

"  Kase  dere's  no  sense  (cents)  in  it" 

"  Well,  you  always  was  de  brackest  nigger  I  neber  seed — you  alwayf 
will  have  the  last  word." 

Loud  Talking 

''  Reuben,  I  was  up  to  camp  meeting  last  month,  and  de  minister 
said: — 'if  de  lady  wid  de  blue  hat,  red  hair,  and  cross-eyes,  don't  stop 
talking  so  loud,  she  will  be  pinted  out  to  de  whole  congregashunu" 


60  BLA.OK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DBVIIA 

High  Salary. 

Pompey  said  he  once  worked  for   a  man  who  raised  hi»  w*ge« 
ftigK  ^n«t  he  could  only  reach  them  once  in  two  years. 

A  Black  Philosopher, 


WHO  ia  known  to  the  residents  of  Williamsburgh  as  "old  Cooley."— 
ole^  is  an  artitt  by  profession,  and  has  gained  unqualified  praise 
from  mouths  of  wisest  censure  "  for  the  unrivalled  manner  in  which 
he  handles  the  (whitewash)  brush.  But  his  praises  are  not  to  end 
here  for  he  is  a  universal  genius,  and  his  fame  as  a  knight  of  the 
aruah  and  bucket  is  eclipsed  by  his  reputation  as  a  lecturer.  He  lec- 
tures nightly  on  the  boat  while  crossing  the  river,  and  we  suppose 
there  is  not  a  male  resident  of  Williamsburgh  who  has  not  listened  to 
a  discourse  from  his  lips.  He  does  not  confine  himself  to  any  one 
subject  His  genius  takes  a  wide  range— politics,  religion,  etiquette, 
gastronomy,  physiology,  psychology,  spiritualism,  free-love,  in  fact  a2 
the  exciting  topics  of  the  day,  as  well  as  every  science  that  ever  was 
heard  of,  are  discussed  by  him  to  his  own  perfect  satisfaction,  and  to 

(the  huge  enjoyment  of  his  listeners,  who  look  upon  him  as  a  very 
Deuefactor  during  an  ice  blockade,  the  other  day ,  while  standing  out- 
sido  on  deck,  our  attention  was  attracted  by  outbursts  of  merriment 
and  shouts  of  applause  in  the  cabin,  and  entering  one  we  found  the 
Sur/pet  of  our  sketch  debating  the  subject  of  slavery  with  a  severe 
looking  old  gentleman,  to  whom  Cooley  was  evidently  a  stranger, 
"^  who  seemed  to  regard  the  subject  in  a  very  serious  light 

I  m  astonished,"  he  exclaimed  indignantly,  as  we  entered,  "to 
hear  a  man  of  color  speak  in  favor  of  that  bloody,  cursed  institution P 
and  then  he  added,  after  a  short  pause,  "  But  I  suppose  you  have 
been  a  negro-driver  at  the  South  yourself,  haven't  you?" 

"My  dear,  blessed,    good  friend,  '  replied    Cooley,  patronizir.giy, 
oat's  a  fantasmagorical  idea  dat  you'b  got  into  your  head,  an'  yoo 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS.  61 

better  get  rid  ob  it  fas'  as  posserble.  Bar's  no  use  you  talkin'  'bout 
slabery  at  de  Souf — don't  you  trouble  de  Souf — let  de  Souf  take  care 
ob  herse'f,  and  you  take  care  ob  yoursef.  Dar  no  use  talkin'  bout 
slabery  at  de  Souf  when  dar's  nuffin  else  but  slabery  all  ober.  De 
hull  United  States  aiiit  nuffin  else  but  a  big  sugar  plantashin,  worked 
by  slabes,  an'  de  Preserdent  am  de  oberseer.  If  we  get  a  good  ober- 
seer,  dat's  all  right— but  if  we  don't  dar's  no  use  crying  about  it,  an' 
you  might's  well  lef  de  subjec  alone,  for  dar's  no  use  talkin'  'bout  it. 
STou  jes  let  dese  politishin  fellers  fite,  and  you  keep  yousef  quiet.  Be 
Jke  de  still  hog  dat  gits  all  de  swill — don't  say  nuffin  as  much  as  pos- 
sible, but  go  on  eatiu'  allde  time,  an'  den  you'll  hab  a  chance  ob  gittin 
»ome  fat  on  yo'i  ribs.  Let  'em  fite.  an'  quart,  an'  tear  tings  to  pieces 
— what  you  spose  I  care  for  dat  ?  I jist  stands  still  and  looks  on,  and  after 
dey've  fit,  and  fit,  and  fit.  and  kivered  de  walls  all  ober  wid  blood 
an  dirt,  I  goes  in  and  does  de  white washin'  for  bofe  parties." 

Here  the  old  gentleman  attempted  to  get  in  a  word,  but  it  was  no 
use,  for  Cooley  continued  ; 

"You  jes  mind  you  own  bissiness — take  my  advice — don't  you  trou- 
ble wid  oder  people's  affairs.  I  'member  a  berry  int'mate  friend  ob 
mine — a  member  of  Congress  in  Norf  Carlina — dat  made  a  forchin  by 
minding  his  own  bissiness,  an'  eberybody  kin  do  de  same  ting  if  dar 
amind  to." 

M  Then  why  don't  you  mind  your  own  business,  instead  of  talking 
here  in  a  bad  cause?"  edged  in  the  old  gentleman,  with  severity. 

"Ah,  dat's  a  dift'rent  matter,"  said  Cooley,  "we  ain't  all  made  alike 
— we  musn't  hide  our  own  light  under  a  bushel-basket — we  must  all 
do  our  duty  in  dis  world.  Ebery  man's  'pinted  for  sumfin' — I'm  pinted 
to  lighten  dese  ignorant  citerzens  ob  Williamsburgh,  an'  I  don't  know 
what  dey'd  do  widout  me,  an'  dat  puts  me  in  mind  dat  I'd  better  pass 
round  dc  hat." 

But  just  at  this  moment  the  boat  entered  the  slip,  and  Copley's  au- 
dience speedily  dispersed,  Cooley  missed  his  vocation.  He  should 
have  been  a  lawyer. 

A  Commderfrum 

"I  say,  Sambo,  can  you  answer  this  conunderfrum ?  Supposin'  I 
gib  you  a  bottle  ob  whiskey,  corked,  shut  with  a  cork;  how  would 
you  get  the  whiskey  out  widout  pullin'  de  cork,  or  breakiu'  de 
x>ttle  ?  " 

"  I  gibs  dat  up." 

"  Why,  push  de  cork  in     Yah,  yah  I" 

Noseology 

|3f~  A  gentleman  asked  a  negro  boy  if  he  would  take  «  pinch  ol 
snuff. 

"  No,"  replied  darkey,  very  respectfully,  "  me  thank  you  Pomp« 
aose  not  hungry  t" 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 

Lawyer 3  and  Wishes. 

"  Sam,  wh j  &m  lawyers  like  de  fishes  ?" 
"  (  don't  meddle  wid  dat  subject,  Pomp." 
1  Wliy,  don't  you  see,  nigger,  kase  dey  am  so  foud  ob  de  toil. 


Bones.  "  I  say,  Clem,  what  am  dat  what  goes  when  de  wagon 
g'^JvS,  stops  when  de  wagon  stops — It  am  no  use  to  de  wagon,  yet  de 
wasron  can't  go  widout  it?" 

Clem.  "  I  gubs  dat  up,  Bones;  can't  begin  to  guess  such  er  skyea- 
tiferic  illooseerdation.  I  gubs  em  up." 

Bones.     "  Why,  you  jailer  complexioned  fool,  de  noise,  ot  course.' 

Unblushing. 
An  insult  to  a  negro — to  tell  him  ha  hasn't  as  much  color  ae 


usual 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLDK  DEVIIA 


63 


.4  Da?  key's  Opinion  of  Monkeys. 

LD  Sandy  turned  to  go  forward,  and  I  no- 
ticed the  tears  coursing  one  after  the  other 
down  his  wrinkled  cheeks;  and  I  heard 
him  say,  in  reply  to  some  consolatory  words 
which  Peterson  was  pouring  into  his  ear  : 

"I  knows  berry  well,  George,  dat  you 
knowledges  more  'bout  most  tings  dan  wot 
I  does,  but  as  to  dat  monkey's  nothabing  no 
soul,  'taint  no  kind  o'use  for  you  to  tell  dis 
nigger  noting  't  all  about  it,  kase  in  regard 
ob  dat  'ticklar  pint,  dere  arn  only  ONE  what 
knows—  and  dat's  de  LOR'  A'MIGHTY. 
_  knows  dare's  dose  as  says  de  monkeys  ain't  . 

no  reason  nudder.  Go  way,  child!  dey's  got  a  heap  more'n  de 
Common  nig  any  day  ob  de  seben.  Why,  it  am  more'n  eight  year, 
George,  sense  I  fust  made  de  'quaintance  ob  Jocko,  kase  you  see  we 
was  shipmates  two  cruises  afore  dis,  and  I  nebber  knowed  him  to  do 
nuthin  dat  a  'spectable  monkey  need  be  'shamed  ob  doing.,  no  how. 
He  war  a  little  mischievyous,  I  allows,  but  den  he  nebber  did  a  right 
down  mean  onchristian  act,  no,  nebber  !  And  so  you  see,  George,  I 
b'liebes—  do  I  don't  purten  for  to  say  sartin—  dat  Jocko  hab  a  soul  jes 
de  same  as  you  and  I  habs,  and  dat  one  ob  dese  days  we  be  a-gwine 
to  meet  agin  in  Daby  Jones'  locker,  kase  people  may  call  'em  mon- 
keys and  brutes  and  dat,  but  I  tinks  dey's  old-time  people,  I  does— 
dat's  wot  I  tinks  !" 

A  Legal  Point. 

Jesse  is  of  opinion  that  the  following  legal  point  is  about  as  impor- 
tant as  many  others,  published  on  knotty  questions  of  the  law. 

A  few  mornings  since,  one  of  our  lawyers  was  startled  from  Ua 
dreams  of  rich  clients  and  fat  fees  by  a  loud  knocking  at  his  office 
door.  He  opened  the  door,  when  a  "  gentleman  of  Africa,"  known 
as  Mariposa  Jack,  stood  before  him. 

"Lookheah,  Judge,"  said  he,   "I  wants  your   'pinion  on  a  law 


"  Well,  go  on." 

"  S'pose  a  man  brings  some  eggs  to  town,  an'  hires  anudder  nigger 
to  sell  'em,  an'  dat  nigger  can't  do  it,  an'  he  gibs  'em  to  me,  an'  I  loses 
de  money,  kin  he  do  anyting  wid  me  ?" 

The  learned  counsel  putting  on  his  wisest  look,  informed  him  that 
he  knew  of  no  law  to  punish  him. 

"Yah!  yah!  "  chuckled  Jack,  "I  know'd  he  couldn't  in  de  fust 
place  —  kaae  de  —  kas*i  de  eggs  was  rotten,  anyhow  Judge,  when  dm 
you  want  your  boots  blacked  ?" 


64  BLACK  JOKES  *OH  BLUE  DEVII£. 

Sable  Wit. 

SAMBO.     What's  dat  mighty  ting  dar? 

C4E8AB.     Why,  you  blaok  n  ggeramus!  dat  ar'  big  ting  am  de  float- 
in'  derrick. 

SAM.     What  dat  far,  nigger? 
CJBSAR.     Dat  tremenjus  masheen   am  fur  raising  a  berry  jsrht  arti- 

dj          1  O  «/         O 

e,  indeed. 

SAM.     A  berry  light  article  ?     Go  way,  nigger — how  ycu  make  iat 
Out? 

C^BSAR.     Why,  Sam,  dat  ar   masheen  was  made 'spressly  ^ 
pose  ob  raisin'  de  wind/" 

Immense  Sensation. 

"  7'«  gwine  to  Prepare  to  Shout  /" 


r 

An  Alabama  paper  relates  the  following  story: 

For  some  time  past  the  negroes  of  Marion  have  had  a  religious  re 
•rival  going  on  in  the  Methodist  Church,  and  which  we  learn  has  re- 
sulted in  some  good.     The  other  night  a  ludicrous  incident  took  place 

which  for  a  time  threatened  to  mar  the  enjoyment  of  the  darkies. 

While  everything  appeared  to  be  going  to  the  entire  satisfaction  ot 
the  leaders  of  the  meeting,  a  tall,  black-looking  son  of  Africa  deliber- 
ately rose  in  the  congregation,  and  commenced  pulling  his  coat  off,  as 
if  preparing  either  to  thrash  some  darkey,  or  give  the  devil  if  he 
were  present,  the  best  fight  he  could,  preparatory  to  closing  the  meet- 
ing. All  eyes  were  turned  upon  the  comical  attitude  of  the  darkey 
and  some  of  the  more  timid  began  to  fear  that  a  melee  was  about  to 
take  place  in  the  church.  This,  however,  was  not  the  case,  for  our 
convert,  perceiving  the  stir  that  was  being  made,  and  the  apparent 
agitation  of  the  assembly,  hallooed  out  at  the  top  of  his  voice : 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS.' 


'•  Biedering  and  sisters,  dou't  be  frightened ;  Ts  only  gwine  to  pre- 
pare to  shout !" 

Arid  he  gave  one  of  those  unearthly  yells,  which  vibrated  through 
the  church  and  shook  the  windows  as  though  the  house  were  falling. 
The  darkey  had  to  make  tracks,  or  to  use  the  language  of  another 
4arkey,  was  tumbled  head  foremost  right  out  of  the  doors  by  some  of 
thr  brethren. 

A  Colored  Scrimmage. 

HAR  you  get  that  chicken  ?  asked  a  colored  woman 
yesterday  afternoon  of  another  colored  lady,  who 
was  standing  in  the  door  of  her  house  examining  a 
nice  plump  looking  chicken. 

"  Whar  did  I  get  it?  Why,  I  hatched  it  from  a 
egg,  that's  whar  I  got  it" 

"  What !  that  ar  chicken  ?  'Deed  you  didn't— 
That's  my  chicken.  I'se  been  huntin  for  it  That 
ar  gal  of  your  cum  to  my  house,  and  cause  I  wouldn't 
let  her  have  it,  she  stoned  my  house,  she  did." 

"  Well,  I  sent  her  to  look  for  de  chicken,  and 
you  gave  her  sass,  you  did." 

•'  She  guv  me  sass,  yon  means — she  said  I  stole 
the  chicken." 

"  Maybe  you  did  stole  de  chicken.  Don't  know 
as  you's  any  too  good." 

"  Look  heah,  nigga,  does  yOvi  sinivate  I  stole  dat 
fowl?" 

"  No,  I  does  not  sinivate  any  such  thing.  Who 
does  you  call  nigga  ?" 

"  1  calls  you  nigga — you  is  black  'nough,  any 
^5"  how,  to  be  raal  Guinea  nigga  Whar  d'ye  come 

from?" 

"Whar  did  I  come  from?  Old  Virginy!  Whar's  you  from? 
nigga  ?  " 

"  I  is  from  nowhar,  an'  I  wau'ts  dat  chicken. ' 

"  You  tells  de  truff,  now,  anyhow;  for  you  is  neither  white  nor 
black,  and  it's  hard  to  say  whar  sich  folks  come  from,  sure  nufE  You 
can' t  have  dis chicken,  no  how;  so  go  'bout your  business." 

"I  wash  for  dat  chick 3n,  I  did." 

"  Wash  for  dat  chicken !  0 1  cricftey !  What  you  waih  for  am, 
h?" 

"  I  wash  shirts  for  'urn,  and  iron  'em,  too." 

"  Look  here,  you  white,  black,  no  color  nigga  from  nowhar,  whar 
chickens  wear  shirts  and  have  ironing  done — you  is  smooth  as  a  flat- 
iron,  you  is — you  lies  too  slick,  you  does.  Go  way,  now,  or  I'D  bust 
your  biler.  I'll  knock  you  into  nowhar.  I'll  give  you  chicken.  !• 
you  frnd  of  pot- pie  ?  There's  a  doenut  for  you.  Chicken  meat,  ha 

~- 


6S  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLO«  bfiVrLS. 

I'll  show  you  what  kind  of  meat  a  Virginny  nigger's  fist  is  made  ot 
There's  a  bunch  of  bones  for  you — thars 

"  Get  out  de  way,  Guinea.     I  jump  right  down  yo'  throat!" 

Backing  off,  and  lowering  their  heads,  they  rushed  upon  eacu  other 

with  the  speed  of  a  locomotive.     Jerusalem!  what  a  concussion.  The 

'Virginny  nigger's"    head  was  driven  right  into  the  other's  skull,  i< 

eemed,  for  there  it  stuck.     One  head  only  was  visible.     There  werf 

wo  heads  an  instant  ago,  and  now  there  was  but  one. 

There  they  stood  ,  backing  and  filling,  trying  to  disentangle  them 
elves.     By  this  time  the  affair  began  to  attract  the  neighborhood  t. 
the  spot.     The  heads  of  both  belligerents  had  become  so  enveloped  in 
shawls  that  neither  of  them  could  see.     They  held  on  to  each  other, 
and  clawed  each  other's  clothes  unmercifully,  till    finally  the  "nigga 
from  nowhar,"  reaching  along  the  back  of  the  other,  seized  that  por 
tion  of  the  dress  which  covers  the  bustle,  and  cried   out,  holding  her 
fast  by  the  wool  with  the  other : 

"Now,  nigga,  I's  gwine  tohav  dat  chicken,  I  is,  or  I'll  'spose  you, 
I  will." 

This  was  too  much.  She  caved  in,  and  a  compromise  was  effected 
— chicken  pot-pie  for  two. 

Monsti  ous   }  Spute. 

er  me  tell  you,  Julius,  I  had  a  monstrous   'spute  wid 
massa  dis  mornin',  down  in  de  cotton  patch." 
"Wa,  wa,  wat  you  'spute  about?" 
"  Why,  you  see,  Julius,  massa  came  down  da  whar  I 
was  hoeiu',  an'  massa  he  say  squash  grow  best  on  sandy 
ground,  an'  I  say  so,  too;  an'  dar  we  spute  about  it  for  more'n  one 
hour!" 

Berry  Much  Alike. 

A  confusion  of  the  degree  of  comparison  is  told  of  a  Jamaica  negro 
who  went  to  announce  to  his  master  that  he  had  been  made  the  happy 
parent  of  twins. 

"  One  am  called  Sambo  and  t'other  Caesar,"  he  enthusiastically  ex 
Claimed ;  and  both  so  very  much  alike — 'specially  Sambo" 

Political 

Two  negroes  in  Mobile  met  on  the  street  the  other  day,  and  com- 
menced discussion  on  the  political  topics  of  the  day.  One  assumed 
the  ground  of  a  Secessionist,  and  the  otiier  that  of  a  Unionist  They 
argued  for  some  time  without  shedding  much  light  on  the  subject. — 
At,  last  Bob,  the  Unionist,  asked  Jake  the  Secessionist,  if  he  could  tel 
him  why  dey  was  bofe  alike? 

'No,  nigger,  I  don't  tink  dar  is  any  answer  to  dat  question." 

"Well,  I  told  you;  we  bofe  go  in  for  disunion,"  (this  Union.) 

1  Whew  !  nigger,  lef  me  quick  !" 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOK  BLOE 

T/ie  Three    Wishes. 

"  You've  saved  my  life/'  the  master  said, 
"At  risk  of  yours,  my  faitliful  Ned; 
And  that  a  service  so  immense 
May  not  fail  of  such  recompense 
As  lies  in  human  means  to  make, 
(Would  mine  were  god-like  for  your  sake  I) 
Three  dearest  wishes  straight  unfold, 
Each  shall  be  granted  soon  as  told." 

"Well,  den,"  grinned  Ned,  with  ivory  show 

"  Since  massa  please  to  hab  it  so, 

My  firs'  s'al  be  for — for — e'yahl 

As  much  good  old  peach-brandy,  sah, 

As  dis  'ere  darkie  an'  his  wife 

Can  jubilate  in  all  dere  life. 

De  nex' — Virginia  weed  enough 

For  me  to  smoke  an'  her  to  snuff, 

Till  life's  las  mile  stone  s'al  be  past" 

"It  shall  be  so,  Ned — noAV  the  last!" 

"  De  las' — hem — gorry !  ^\  me  see — 

Wat  s'all  it  in  partic'lar  be? 

Oh  I  now  I  hab  him — chee,  e'yah  ! 

A  leetiemore  peach-brandy,  sahl" 

''Sal"  Owning  Dow*. 


A  travellei  through  Maryland  relates  an  amusing  account  of  a  "col- 
ored chorus"  witnessed  by  him  at  one  of  the  African  churches.  The 
masculine  darkies  were  arranged  "like  four-and  twenty  blackbirds  all 
in  a  row,"  cu  one  side,  and  the  females  on  the  other  The  latter  com- 


6b  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

me^.eed  the  chorus  with,  "  Oh,  for  a  man — oh  I  for  a  mansion  in  the 
skied;"  to  which  the  former  responded,  ''Send  down  sal — send  down 
utl — send  down  salvation  to  my  soul !" 

A  Loud  Call. 

"Mr.  Squash,  did  you  eber  knew  dat  I   was  one   ob   dem  actor 
fellers?" 

"No,  Gumbo,  I  neber  hearyyou  was  in  de  freater  line." 
"  Oh,  yes,  Gumbo,  I  played  a  conspicuous  part  t'oder  ebenin'." 
"Why,  Gumbo,  what  did  you  play?" 

"  I  played  Hamlet,  and  I  got  called  out  three  times — once  by  <k 
Anager  and  twice  by  de  constable. 

A   Few  "  Taters." 

pious  old  negro,  saying  grace  at  the  table,  not 
only  used  to  ask  a  blessing  upon  his  board,  but 
he  would  also   petition  to  have  some  deficient 
dish  supplied.     One  day  it  was  known  that 
Cato  was  out  of  potatoes,  and  suspecting  that 
he  would  pray  for  some  at  dinner,  a  wag  pro- 
vide.     *nself  with  a  small  measure  of  the  veg- 
etables,,   and   stole   under   the   window  next 
which  stood  the  table  of  our  colored  Christian. 
3oon  Cato  drew  up  a  chair,  and  commenced: 
-     "O^  Massa  Lord,  will  dow,  indy  provident 
=|~  kindness,  condescend  tobress  ebery  ding  before 
~us,  and  be  pleased  to  bestow  us  a  few  tatere — 

and  all  de  praise — " 
Here  the  potatoes  were  dashed  upon  the  table,  breaking  plates  and 
upsetting  the  mustard  pot. 

"Dews  "em,"  said  Cato,  looking  with  surprise,  "only  just  luff  'am 
down  n  k/etle  easier  next  time." 

Sable  Conundrums. 

"  Well,  Mr.  Snow,  I  wants  to  ax  ye  one  question 

''  Propel  deu,  nigger. ' 

"Why  am  agios -shop  like  a  counterfeit  dollar?" 

"Well,  Ginger,  I  gibs  dat  right  up." 

"Kase  ye  can't  pass  it" 

'  Yah,  yah,  yah !  Nigger,  you  can  talk  so  much  'bout  your  coun- 
•fit  dollars,  just  succeed  to  deform  me  why  a  countifit  dollar  is  lik« 
MI  apple  pie  ?" 

"O,  I  drops  de  subject  and  doesn't  k^iw  nuffin  'bout  it" 

"  Kase  it  isn't  currant. 

'"Oh,  what  a  nigger  1     Why  am  TCU-  \x  d  like  a  bag  of  dollar* f 

"Q'way  from  me — why  am  it?" 

M  ,Kase  dere  is  no  sense  (cents)  ib  >C 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS.  69 

| 

First  and  Second  Bell 

"Ouffee  is  that  the  second  bell?' 

"  No,  massa,  dat's  de  second  ringing  ob  de  fuse  bell     We  haba't 
no  second  bell  in  dis  hotel." 

"  Oh  I  Ah,  Miss  Lucy 


See  Saw. 

say,  Tom,  Jim's  death  on  wood.     Did  you  ever  see 
him  saw?" 

"  No,  but  I  saw  him  see.     Ha  I  ha  1" 

"  Dat's  nothing.     I  saw  him  see  saw.     What  you 
go  to  say  now  ?" 

"  Why,  dis — dat  if  you  saw  him  see-saw  and  I  saw 
him  see,  he  must  be  a  sau-cy  nigger." 

i  I  see  you  want  to  run  a  saw  on  me." 


A  SOUTHERN  Adonis,   not  particularly  celebrated 
for  his   personal  attractions,  on   completing  a  some- 
what protracted  toilet  one   morning,  tarned  to  his 
servant,  and  inquired: 
"  (Tow  do  I  look,  Csesar?" 

"  Tlendid,  massa — 'plendid !"  was  Ebony's  delightful  answer. 
"Do  you  think  I'll  do,  Caesar?"  he  asked   surveying  himself  in  a 

-,  and  giving  Coesar  a  piece  of  silver. 

"  (ruy !  massa,  neber  see   you  look  so  fierce  in   all  my  life.     You 
;><>k  jist  as  bold  as  a  lion  !" 

"  A  lion?     Why,  what  do  you  know  about  a  lion?  You  never  saw 
me,  Caesar." 

"  Neber  see  a  lion,  massa  1     Guy  !  I  see  Massa  Peyton's  Jim  ride 
•tie  ober  to  de  mill  ebery  day  I" 
"  Wby,  you  fool,  that's  a  donkey !" 

'  Can't  help  dat,  massa,"  paid  Caesar,  "you  lookjislffct  MmT' 
The  "colored  compliment"  was  nut  improved  by  the  amendment, 


66  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Droll  Scene  in  a  Negro  Church, 

The  New  Orleans  correspondent  of  the,New  York  Courier  and  En- 
quirer relates  the  following  as  an  actual  incident  during  his  visit  to  a 
colored  church : 

Old  Isaac's  sermon  was  decidedly  successful.  His  hearers  paid  fixed 
and  breathless  attention  throughout,  breaking  forth  occasionally  into 
expressions  of  assent,  or  giving  vent  to  their  feelings  in  a  well  remem- 
bered line  of  some  cherished  hymn,  as  he  dwelt  with  rapture  and  with 
streaming  eyes  on  the  unutterable  glories  of  Heaven.  It  was  the  first 
of  a  series  of  sermons  that  Isaac  proposed  to  preach  to  them  in  accor- 
dance with  their  invitation.  In  announcing  his  acceptance  of  the  in- 
vitation, he  remarked: 

"  After  der  most  serious  debilitation,  I  have  finally  'eluded  Jo  preach 
der  word  unto  yer.  I  don't  ax  you  nary  thing  for  my  preaching,  but 
as  it  cost  me  something  to  come  so  far,  and  as  I  had  no  horse  or  mule 
to  fetch  me.  and  as  lam  consequently  obligated  to  hire  one  of  a  white 
individual  what  lives  in  dat  neat  white-washed  house  just  der  oder 
side  of  my  mill,  down  by  der  hill  der,  which  cost  me  one  dollar,  I 
have  thought  it  best  to  ax  you,  my  beloved  congregation,  to  detribute 
one  picayune  apiece,  and  pay  for  my  mule.  I  don't  ask  nary  thing 
for  my  preaching,  only  for  my  mule.  Mr.  Steward,  you  may  pass 
your  nat  or  that  of  any  other  brother." 


Josh,  the  steward,  prepared  to  pass  the  hat  and  the  colored  "gem- 
men'1  made  several  desperate  attempts  to  pull  out  their  wallets,  some 
looking  excessively  surprised  at  finding  no  picayune  within.  One  row 
of  negroes  "  detributed"  each  the  amount  requested.  When  Josh 
pushed  his  hat  over  toward  our  party,  we  thrust  in  more  than  enougn 
to  pay  for  the  mule,  wishing  to  remunerate  Isaac  somewhat  for  the 
preachings  You  can  judge  of  our  surprise  when  the  hat  was  passed 
to  the  next  row,  to  see  a  great  black  fellow  deliberately  turn  the  con- 
tents of  the  hat  into  his  lap,  coolly  count  them  over,  and  having  satis- 
tied  himself  that  there  was  a  sufficent  amount  to  pay  for  "der  mule," 
thrust  his  own  bit  back  into  his  pocket.,  and  with  a  foolish  grin 
towards  us,  passed  the  hat  to  the  next.  It  is  needless  to  say  that  no 
more  picayunes  were  "detributed"  after  that  "back  lick."  The  worst 
remains  to  be  told.  After  the  benediction,  the  luckless  contributors 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE 

ru«hed  hastily  forward  and  withdrew  their  deposits,  and  even  com- 
manded Josh  to  keep  in  reserve  ail  the  surplus  remaining  after  paying 
for  "der  mule." 

Same  Old  Drunk  f 


A  gentleman,  finding  his  servant  intoxicated,,  said : 

"What!  drunk  again,  Sam?  I  scolded  you  for  being  drunk  last 
mght,  and  here  you  are  drunk  again." 

"  No,  massa,"  replied  Sam,  "  same  drunk    same  drunk,  massa 

A  Musical  Congregation. 

At  a  church  of  color,  the  minister  noticing  a  number  of  persona, 
both  white  and  colored,  standing  upon  the  seats  during  service,  called 
out  in  a  loud  voice : 

"  Get  down  off  them  seats,  both  white  men  and  colored:  I  care,  n 
more  lor  one  dan  de  odder." 

Imagine  the  minister's  surprise  on  hearing  the  congregation  sudden 
y  commence  singing,  in  short  metre : 

"  Git  down  off  dem  seats, 

Boff  white  man  and  color , 
I  care  no  more  for  one  man, 

Than  I  does  for  the  other." 


62  BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVIL& 

•  Love  Krtjot. 

I !     YI 1     I  see  Joe  down  to  de  ball  last  ebemn. 

and  his  lady-lub  danced  so  hard  dat  she  shook  au 

de  buttons  off  ob  her  leg  ob  mutton  slebes;  says 

she: 

"  'Joe,  tie  dat  slebe  in  a  bow-knot' 

"  Den  you  ought  to  see  Joe  twist  his  mou^  and 

exclaim  at  de  same  time: 

"  Ah,  my  lub,  I  wish  to  de  Lord  it  was  de  con 

Made  a  Fool  ob  Him. 

"  Pete  has  been  courtin'  a  gal  for  some  time  past,  and  she  Las  ofteE 
promised  ,0  marry  him  ;  so  de  oder  ebenin'  Pete  said  to  her : 
" '  Do  you  intend  to  make  a  fool  ob  me  ?" 
"  'Oh,  no,"  replied  de  gal,  "nature  has  saved  me  de  trouble." 

A  Nigger  at  a  Dance 


laberal  knot." 


The  happiest  man  in  the  world  is  supposed  to  be  "a  nigger  »t  t 
!»nce."  In  our  opinion  this  rule  is  too  limited.  A  nigger  is  not  only 
iappy  at  a  dance,  but  in  every  position.  A  darkey  may  be  poor,  but 
ie  is  never  low-spirited.  Whatever  he  earns  he  invests  in  fun  and 
ieviltry.  Give  him  a  dollar,  and  in  less  than  an  hour  he  will  lay 
(even  shillings  of  it  out  in  yellow  neck-ties  or  a  cracked  violin.  There 
ta  something  in  an  African  that  sheds  trouble  as  a  duck  will  water.—  - 
Who  ever  knew  a  "  culled  pussun"  to  commit  suicide  ?  The  negro  U 
strongly  given  to  love  and  jealousy  ;  but  he  has  no  taste  for  arseoia 
He  may  lose  his  all  by  betting  against  a  roulette,  but  he  don't  find 
relief  for  his  despair  as  white  folks  do,  by  resorting  to  charcoal  fumes, 
or  a  new  bed-cord,  but  by  visiting  "de  fair  sex,"  and  participating  in 
the  mazy  influence  of^jde'  oec'pntal  convolutions  of  der  clarinett' 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVIL&  63 

Jumping  through  a  Stone  Wall. 

A  negro  preacher,  holding  forth  to  his  congregation  upon  the  sub- 
ject of  obeying  the  commands  of  God,  said : 

"  Bredren,  whateber  God  tells  me  to  do  in  dis  ya  book,  (holding 
up  the  Bible)  dat  I's  gwine  to  do.  If  I  see  in  it  dat  I  must  jump  troo 
a  stun  wall,  I'm  gwine  to  jump  at  it.  Goin'  troo  'lonsrs  to  de  Lord  • 
urnping  at  it  'longs  to  me." 

Take   lat  Man  in. 

fciP  A  gentleman  of  Norfolk,  Va.,  had  a  fine  negro  to  whom  he 
gave  the  privilege  of  hiring  himself  out ,  and  keeping  one-half  the 
wages.  A  short  time  since,  the  negro  came  home  to  his  master  to 
tell  him  that  the  man  for  whom  he  had  been  working  wished  to  buy 
him,  and  would  give  $1,300  for  him. 

;'  Well,"  said  his  master,  what  of  that?     I  don't  wish  to  sell." 
"  But  you  see,  massa,"  said  Sam,  •'  I'se  had  a  cough  some  time,  and 
'specs  I'm  gwine  into  desumption.     I   don't  'spec  I  shall  last  more'n 
two  or  three  years,  and  I'd  like  to  take  dat  man  in.,' 

Axe-ing  the  Lord. 

DARKEY  set  to  work  to  cut  down  a  very  tough  tree, 
but  his  axe  flew  back  some  time  with  but  little 
effoct.  A  storm  occurred  meantime,  and  a  crashing 
shaft  of  lightning  shattered  a  huge  oak  to  splinters 
near  him. 

''Bress  de  Lord  I'1  exclaimed  Sambo,  "dat  weD 
done.  'Pose  you  try  dis  one  nex;  guess  you  got 
your  match,  massa  1"" 

Highly  Colored  Ideas  of  Heaven. 

A  negro  woman  was  relating  her  experience  to  a  gaping  congreg* 
tion  of  color,  and  among  other  things  she  said  she  had  been  in  heaven 
One  of  the  ladies  of  color  asked  her: 

"  Sister,  did  you  see  any  black  folks  in  heaven  ?' 
Oh,  get  out !  you  s'pose  I  go  in  de  kitchen  when  I  was  dar  ?" 
This  reminds  us  of  the  anecdote  of  another  colored  man,  who  wai 
•o  convinced   of  the   lowliness  of  his   position,  and  that  labor  was  a 
natural  lot,  that  he  even  was  indifferent  as  to  a  future  state,  believing 
that  "dey'll  make  nigger  work,  even  ef  he  go  to  Hebben."  A  clergy- 
man tried  to  argue  him  out  of  this  opinion,  by  representing  this  not 
to  be  the  case,  inasmuch  as  there  was  absolutely  no  work  Tor  him  to 
do  in  heaven.     His  answer  was : 

"Oh,  you  g'way,  massa,  I  knows  better.  If  dere's  ns  work  foi 
culled  fokes  up  dar,  dey'll  make  'em  shub  de  cloud*  alonj.  You  can't 
fool  this  chile. 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 

Geography —  Colored. 

PHRAIM,  can  you  teJ  me  how  de  worlfl 

am  bounded?" 

"  Oh,  yes,  it  am  bounded  on  de  norf  by 
de  Niagara  mountains,  on  de  souf  by  de 
Penciltuck  Riber,  on  de  east  by  sunrise,  and 
on  de  west  by  large  quantities  ob  swine." 

"Well,   Bones,  does  you  know  anyting 
about  de  seasons?" 
"  Oh,  yes,  Sam." 

"Well,  how  many  seasons  am  dar?  and 
what  is  dey  ?" 

"Well,    dar  am   four    seasons — vinegar, 

pepper,  salt  and  mustard." 

'Oh,  shawl  dem  aint  de  seasons  dat  I  mean." 

"  Well,  demV  de  only  seasons  my  mudder  eber  uses !" 

"  White  Folks  Blame  Fools." 

A  friend  of  ours,  near  Tampa  Bay,  in  Florida,  employed  a  tnmber 
of  New  York  mechanics  to  do  a  piece  of  work.  It  was  a  government 
contract,  and  required  particular  dispatch.  The  men  worked  as  north- 
ern mechanics  know  how  to  work.  Old  Jupe — one  of  their  employ- 
er's slaves — watched  them,  out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye,  for  several 
days.  Something  was  evidently  working  in  his  mind,  which  puzzled 
him  badly.  At  last  he  came  up  to  the  foreman  of  the  gang,  and  said 

"Massa  Charles,  what  a  debbil  you  all  work  for  so,  eh?' 

"  To  earn  money,  Jupe." 

"Moneyl"  said  Jupe,  "money  great  ting.  You  work  so  Norf,  Maw 
Queries?" 

"Yes,  Jupe." 

"  You  make  a  great  deal  money  ?" 

"  Not  a  great  deal,  Jupe  ;  spring,  summer,  and  fall  we  do  well,  but 
work  is  slack  in  winter  time,  and  if  we  get  round  again  to  spring  and 
make  both  ends  meet,  and  keep  the  wife  and  baby  in  something  to 
eat  and  drink,  and  a  house  to  shelter  them,  we  generally  think  we 
have  done  well." 

"  S'pose  you  sick,  Mass'  Charles,  who  take  care  of  you  ?" 

"  Then  work  stops,  and  we  get  very  poor,  and  suffer  great  priva- 
tions," 

"  Dat'll  do,  Mass'  Charles,"  said  Jupe.  "  I  thought  white  folks  sen- 
sible people — 'taint  nuffin  of  de  sort  Work,  work,  nuffin  but  work; 
get  sick,  and  nobody  take  care  eb  'em.  White  folks  blame  fools.  Jupe 
work,  too.  Nebber  hurt  himself  workin',  though.  Jupe  get  sick.— 
Miss  Sallie  come  down  and  nurse  him.  Mass'  Bob  send  a  boat  aeb- 
enty  miles  up  de  riber  to  get  wnue  doctor  for  him.  Norf  good  'nough 
to-  white  folks,  but  reckon  old  Jupe  stay  at  home." 

^ jad  old  Jupe  went  off  in  a  state  of  dignified  disgust  at  the  fofly  ol 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS.  ee 

white  folks  generally  at  the  North,  and  a  particular  determination  tc 
do  as  little  work  himself  as  possible — f\  determination  which  his  mastei 
eays,  Jupe  was  never  known  to  break. 

A  Colored  Preacherman  on  Hard  Times. 

EAR  GRUMBLERS :— In  'cordance  wid 
my  promise,  I  will  spoke  to  you  dis  eb- 
enin'  on  de  perwaih'n  epidemic  ob  de 
day.  You  will  find  my  tex  on  de  tonga 
ob  etery  body  in  de  community  from 
Bill  Astor  down  to  the  limekil  man.  It 
am  written  in  unmistakable  characters 
and  deep  lines  on  the  phiz's  ob  de  poor, 
and  in  de  anxious  faces  ob  de  rich.  It 
am  none  as  HAKD  TIMES. 

hard  times"  tinks  the  merchant's  lady,  as  she  alights  from 
her  carriage,  decked  in  a  two  thousand  dollar  set  ob  diamonds,  thous- 
and dollar  set  ob  iurs,  hundred  dollar  dress,  and  delicate  Opera  cloak 
It's  hard  times — husband  couldn't  afford  no  greater  display,  times  an: 
so  berry  hard. 

" It's  hard  times"  says  the  buckish  clerk  in  the  Shanghie  coat,  ag 
he  orders  oysters  and  champagne — "  Two  dozen  oysters  cooked  in 
warious  ways,  and  only  one  half  pint  bottle  ob  Hidesick ; — times  is 
hard,  and  I  can't  afford  luxuries." 

"  It 'shard  times,"  says  de  feller  as  he  pours  down  brandy  at  a  shillin' 
a  glass.  "  De  Lord  only  knows  what  we  am  coming  to." 

"  It's  hard  times,"  says  de  fop  to  de  tailor,  and  you  must  wait — 
"  Hadn't  you  better  wer  out  your  ole  close  ?"  says  de  tailor,  "till  your 
nuances  improbe  a  little,  and  de  times  git  softer?"  "Can't  afford  it," 
SAYS  de  fop,  "  must  hab  de  Shanghie.  I  can't  afford  to  lose  my  posi- 
tion, and  look  as  doe  I  worked  for  a  libin." 

"  It's  hard  times"  say*  de  capitalist,  as  he  buttons  up  he  coat  I 
guess  I'll  lock  up  what  gold  and  silver  I  hab  in  a  wait,  and  luff  no 
man  hab  it,  kase  all  de  noosepapers  says  it's  hard  times  and  wis  a 
comin'.  I'll  lock  up  my  money,  kase  dere  am  no  noein  who  to  trust" 
"  Its  hard  times"  says  de  Bank  fellers,  who  hab  bin  libin  too  fast 
"and  I  must  eder  retrench  or  Skiler.  I  can't  retrench  and  go  in  good 
society  arterwards,  but  I  can  default,  and  in  two  seasons  all  am  for 
gotten.  I'll  Skiler  kase  it  pays  best ' 

"We  must  take  advantage  ob  de  times,"  says  de  business  man,  ''and 
cut  down  de  wages  ob  de  workman —  now  is  de  time,  when 
noosepapers,  pread:ermen,  lawyers,  and  eberybody  am  crying  hard 
times." 

So  down  goes  de  wages,  and  down  comes  de  tears  ob  de  workman's 
children  tor  bread  at  de  same  time — so  you  see  de  poor  man  and  nil 
family  do  al!  de  suHerjn'  and  de  rieh  all  de  jawin'.  Dere  am  no  mis- 
•»ke,  de  times  am  HO  hnrl  you  can  bite  it 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUE  DBV1LB. 
"  The  Lily  of  the  Valley," 


ft  COLORED  "REVIVAL 
A  Brace  of  Perplexed  Darkies. 

The  Savannah  Republican  tells  the  following  good  one : 

Yesterday,  as  two  athletic  darkies  were  engaged  in  tumbling  about 
a  bale  of  cotton  on  the  dock,  a  mysterious  voice,  appearing  to  proceed 
from  the  interior  of  the  bale,  exclaimed  • 

"  Don't  toss  me  about  so  hard !" 

"  Bress  de  Lor',  who  dat  ?  War  you  ?"  exclaimed  one  of  the  dark- 
ies, as  both  let  go  their  hold,  and  stood  aghast 

"  Inside  the  bale,"  responded  the  voice. 

"  Joe,"  rejoined  one  of  the  negroes  to  his  companion,  "  de  debil  it 
about,  sure  ;"  and  then  collecting  himself  somewhat,  he  addressed  the 
gewed-up  man : 

"  How  you  come  thar  ?" 

"  Put  in  dar  at  the  plantation,  make  out  the  last  bale,"  replied  the 
voice  inside. 

"I  golly,  Joe,  you  hear  dat?  What'll  buckra-man  do  next?  Well, 
f ou'se  got  to  go  alonsr  wid  de  bale  to  de  cotton-press,  an'  you  will  be 
packed  den,  sure,"  said  one  ot  the  knignts  of  the  hook,  and  both  set 
to  work  again  at  their  job. 

Just  then  loud  cries  of  "Murder!  Murder!"  proceeded  from  the  bale, 
when  the  darkies,  convinced  that  "de  debil"  was  really  about,  dropped 
everything  and  took  to  their  heels. 

The  comedy  was  highly  enjoyed  by  some  friends  who  were  stand- 
ing around  with  Signer  Blitz,  wl  had  gone  down  to  look  after  • 
cage  of  canaries  that  can* 3  out  by  the  Florida. 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DKVJL& 


Hiyhfuht  lin. 

OOK  here,  Ginger;  I  went  oat  riding  todei 
day,  and  1  stop'd  at  one  ob  de  principal  ho- 
tels, when  I  seed  a  great  many  gents  ob  color 
on  de  stoop ;  so  I  ordered  de  boy,  and  give  him 
some  mighty  high  orders,  ca&e  I  wanted  de 
darks  on  de  stoop  to  hear  my  elemquence. — 
I  told  de  boy  to  extricate  the  quadruped  from 
de  vvchii'lc,  donate  him,  give  him  a  sufficient 
supply  of  alimentary  food,  uud  when  de  aurora 
morn  breaks  forth  t.hough  the  oriental  horizon, 
1  will  reward  you  with  a  peculiar  compensa- 
tion, according  to  your  very  peculiar  merits,." 

"  Well,  what  did  he  say  to  such  high  language?" 

'•  Why,  he  went  in  de  house  an<l  told  de  landlord  dat  dar  was  a 
Duti-liman  outside,  and  he  wanted  a  pint  of  lager-beer. 

Draw  it  Mild, 

Bill  Jenkins  and  his  wife  hab  been  travelling  lately,  and  while  dey 
was  hastening  fro  a  wood,  dey  met  wid  a  melancholy  accident,  which 
Jiukuis'  wife  told  to  me  in  de  following  felicitous  strain — 

"  Aud  while  retreating  fro  de  woods, 

And  fro  de  tangled  fern, 

He  tore  his  mustu't-mention-'em, 

And  had  to  put  on  hern  1" 

A  Gal-lant  Boy. 

''  Here,  Bill,  you  young  rascal,  walk  up  and  gib  an  account  ob  your- 
«>lf~  wear  hr.li  you  been?" 
"  A  Her  de  gals,  fader." 

"  Did  you  eber  know  me  to  do  so  when  I  was  a  boy  ?" 
"  Mo,  sir,  but  mother  says  she  did." 

A  Black  Naturalist* 

"  Johnson,  we  caught  a  nigger  last  right  robbin'  the  henroost,  and 
dis  morning  we  took  him  afore  de  Squire,  and  on  examinin'  him, 
found  dat  he  had  greased  his  feet  so  dat  he  shouldn't  make  any  noise 
when  he  went  to  steal  de  chickens;  an'  while  he  was  on  one  ob  de 
roosts,  lie  uecidentally  slipped  off  into  de  custody  ob  de  owner.  De 
Squire  axed  him  what  was  de  reason  for  his  being  dar,  and  he  aaid  he 
only  come  dar  to  see  if  de  chickens  sleeped  wid  dar  eyes  open.  Ah, 
t  was  no  use,  he  was  coope/." 

Ear  for  Music. 

"Say,  Sam,  hab  you  got  an  ear  for  music?" 
"Yes.  indeed  I  is.  honey,  I'se  got  tvo  ob  'em." 
"  80  has  de  mule,  Samuel." 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


Lift  it  the  SU  Nictwlas 

INGER,   you  habn't    been 

long  m  the  city,  I  under- 
stand." 

"  No,  sir,  I  hab  just  arrib- 
ed  from  de  country  " 

"What  part,  Ginger?" 

"Well,  I'm  from  Horse 
Heads,  Mud  county,  near  de 
great  Breakneck  Railroad  ; 
I  got  in  day  afore  yester- 
day." 

"Where  do  you  stop, 
Ginger?" 

"  Oh,  evey  where  whar  dey 
keep  money  in  de  winows." 

"  No,  no,  I  mean  whar  do 
you  put  up?" 

"  Well,  at  present  I  hold 
out  at  de  St.  Michaelmas 
Hotel." 

"  Oh,  no,  Ginger,  dey  don't 
allow  no  niggers  dar. ' 

"  Well,  I  didn't  go  dar  aa 

a  nigger," 

"  You  didn't  ?" 

• 

"  No,  I  went  dar  as  a  Creole ;  de  fust  day  I  was  dar,  I  see  a  berrj 
curious  thing ;  one  ob  de  waiters  come  out  wid  a  big  round  thing,  h« 
drawed  off  wid  a  drumstick  and  gib  it  such  a  struck.' 

"  Why,  that  was  a  gong." 
_      Yes,  I  was  gone  de  minute  he  hit  it" 
"  Where  did  you  go  ?" 

I    "  Why,  I  went  right  in  to  dinner ;  one  lady  asked  me  t  /  pass  the 
batter  ober  to  her." 

"Well,  did  you?" 

"  No,  de  butter  was  so  strong  dat  it  walked  right  ober  itself;  one 
ob  de  waiters  axed  me  if  I  would  hab  some  shanghai  berries  and  hen 
iriit ;  I  didn't  know  what  he  meant,  aad  he  told  me  dat  dey  was 
eggs;  I  declined,  and  den  dey  axed  me  if  I  would  try  some  cylinder 
escapement  and  lepinc  pies.  I  thought  I  would  take  a  pie^e  just  for 
<!e  novelty  ob  de  ting,  and  he  said  :  'Well,  you'll  getdem  U.  all  Dutob 
groceries ;  they  are  very  thin,  ar.d  not  much  works  in  'em. 


BLACK  JOKI>>-    Foil    BhUK   DKV1LS  69 

A  Burlesque.  Darkey  Auction  Sale. 

OWN  up')[i  she  New  Orleans,  levee,  the  other 
day,  a  large  nurnber  of  jolly  darkies  having  no 
.work  to  tin.  anil  ill-siring  some  fun  to  while  away 
!  the  time,  one  uf  them,  selected  tor  his  tor.guey 
'qualities,  mounted  a  box,  and  in  good  set  auction- 
eer's phrase,  a:!M»:i!:i-ed  to  the  "cullud  pussons" 
that  IK-  was  now  about  to  oiler  them  for  cash,  "to 
e  highis  bidder  in  dis  crowd,  a  lu.s  rate  boy,  A 
I,  soun'  au'  healt'y,  an'  warranted  not  to  cut  in 
de  eye,  balk  in  de  step,  nor  steal  chickens  that 
don't  'long  to  him  ;  also,  'ditional.  did  boy  war 
only  one  par  a  shoes  a  year,  an'  deys  good  at  de 
eend  of  it;  takes  keer  on  his  dose  in  partieler,  an'  neber  goes  cortin'  ; 
don't  go  to  sleep  ober  his  work,  is  'speekful  an'  'bedent;  is  six  foot 
tree  inches  high,  weighs  two  hundred  an'  twenty  pouns,  an'  can  do 
more  work  in  house  or  fiel'  dan  any  two  niggers;  'sides,  he  eats 
less  dan  any  one  nigger.  Step  up  hyar,  Sam,  an'  show  yourself  to 
dese  gemmea  Libely,  now!  Dar  he  is,  gemmenl  'Mire  him  for 
yourselves  !"  ^ 

And  the  sable  auctioneer  pointed  with  a  triumphant  gesture  to  the 
subject  of  this  extravagant  eulogium  —  a  scrubby,  knotty,  runted,  gray- 
headed  specimen  of  a  field  hand,  about  four  feet  and  a  half  high,  who 
mounted  the  box  beside  him,  amid  vast  roars  of  laughter  from  the 
crowd. 

"  Dar  he  is  getnmen  —  zamine  him,  an'  start  him  at  suffin,  for  he 
runs'  be  sole.  What  does  you  say?" 

Several  colored  geinmen  mounted  the  stand,  and  proceeded  to 
"y.arnine''  him.  One  violently  pulled  his  mouth  open,  and  re- 
ported :  — 

"Dis  nigger  not  sound  —  one  jaw  toof  done  gone." 
Another  tried  to  straighten  out  alock  of  hig  wool,  with' 
'•  Don't  like  dis  —  har  kink  too  much  —  nigger  lazy." 
Another  pretended  to  discover  something  besides   ideas   running 
through  his  wool,  and  concluded  : 

"  Nigger's  head  too  poplar"  —  (populous.) 
Another  said  : 

foot  too  long  and   slim  —  long  foot  nigger  will   steal  an' 
run  away  ;  long  foot  nigger  aiu't  worf  jail  fees." 


"Nigger's  to  <  nail*  too  long,  a  scratch  paint  off  my  parlor  floor  I 
No  wants  dis  nigger.  Yah!  hy  -ah  1  Yah!  yah!" 

"  Well,  genunen,  is  yon  done  looking  at  dat  nigger  ?  Is  you  satisfy  ? 
He's  a  prime  lot  W'h.-it.  do  you  say  Ibi  de  boy?  Starthim  atsuflin 
He's  got  to  be  sole  —  prumptory  e 

"  Ten  cent!"  came  from  the  laughing  crowd. 


10 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  E'.TJK  DEVILS 


"  Ten  cent— ten  cent !     Going  at  ten  cent — ten — ten— ten." 

"  One  dime,"  from  the  crowd. 

"  Tank  you,  sar.  One  dime,  one  dime,  one  dime — g-o-i-n'  at  one 
dime — d-i-m-e.  Too  bad,  gemmen,  make  me  sacfize  dis  artikel  dat 
way.  Say  'leben?" 

"  One  bit,"  from  the  crowd. 

"Much  'bliged,  sar!     One  bit,  one  bit,  one  bit,  bit,  bit,  bit;  goin' 
goin',  won't  nobody  say  'leben  for  dis  A  1,  warranted  &c.,  toy  ?  goin 
t  one  bit — goin' — g-o-i-n' — gone  at  ten  cent  1     Yours,  sar,  an'  a  dog 
ight  more  dan  he's  worf!" 


And  he  "knocked  down"  the  property  to  the  laughing  purchaser, 
with  a  tremendous  blow  on  the  head  with  the  barrel  stave  he  used  as 
a  "hammer"  which  broke  it  in  the  middle,  and  "knocked  down"  the 
sold  party  off  the  box  without  his  apparently  feeling  the  blow,  so 
massive  was  the  conformation  of  his  cranium. 

That  (says  the  reporter  of  the  above  scene)  was  the  greatest  auction 
gale  that  we  ever  saw. 

Miss  Phillisie  and  her  Puppy. 

Miss  Phillisie  was  out  promenading  toder  day,  and  she  spoke  to  her 
favorite  dog,  "Come  along,  sir,"  when  all  at  once  BillJohnson  stepped 
up  'longside,  and  said  to  her  so  berry  perlite : 

"  Was  it  me,  Miss,  dat  you  called  ?" 

"No,  sir-ee  1"  said  Phillig,  "  it  was  anoder  puppy   I  was   speakin1 


to.' 


Hal  ha  I  de  dear  lam !  dat  was  a  settler  for  Johnson. 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 


Tl 


A  Colored  Philosopher 

AVENDER   CROW— A     colored    i  in, 

whose  legs  have  been  cut  off  abc  ve  he 
.knees,  heard  a  couple  of  ladies  comniis  ;a- 
\ing  his  condition  the  other  day,  when  h* 

turned  to  them,  and  said : 

"  Why,  Missus,    you   couldn't  do   fii 

without   breaking  your  backs  a   stoop  ii 

down.'' 

Moral. — Whole  legs  are  not  essential  to 

happiness,  though  a  contented  spirit  n*»y 


be/ 


Modesty  in  the  Dark. 


"Pompey,  we  got  a  berry  modest  gal 
ilown  to  our  house.     Missus  wanted   her 
,to  sleep  up  in  her  sewing  room  last  night, 
and   de  gal  objected  to  do  BO,  case   d«re 
. .  ._  a  cushion  on  de  table  wid  needles  in  it." 
"  Why  was  dey  so  objectionable,  Ginger?" 
"  Because  she  said  dat  de  needles  had  eyes." 

A  Millerite  Miracle, 

In  a  little  village,  in  the  State  of  Hoosierana,  in  the  year  1844, 
there  was  all  sorts  of  excitement  concerning  the  doctrines  and  prophe- 
cies of  that  arch-deceiver  Miller.  For  months  the  midnight  cry  fol- 
lowed by  the  morning  yell,  had  circulated  through  the  village  «ud 
surrounding  counties.  The  night  of  the  third  of  April  was  the  time 
agreed  upon  out  west  here  for  the  grand  exhibition  of  "ground  Mid 
tofty  tumbling,"  and  about  ten  o'clock  of  the  said  night,  numbers  of 
the  Millerite.?  assembled  on  the  outskirts  of  the  town,  on  a  little  e»>i- 
nence,  upon  which  the  proprietor  had  allowed  a  few  trees  to  stand.  — 
lu  the  crowd,  and  the  only  representative  of  his  race  present,  wa»  a 
free  negro,  by  the  name  of  Sam,  about  as  ugly,  black,  woolly,  lud 
rough  a  descendant  of  Ham  as  ever  baked  his  shins  over  a  kitchen 
fire. 

Sam's  head  was  small,  body  and  arms  very  long,  and  his  legs  bwe 
a  remarkable  resemblance  to  a  pair  of  hams ;  in  fact,  put  Sam  <m.  • 
horse,  his  legs  clasped  round  its  neck,  his  head  towards  the  tail,  *nd 
tiis  arms  clasped  round  the  animal's  hams,  and  at  ten  paces  off  you 
would  swear  he  was  an  old  set  of  patent  gearing. 

The  leader  of  the  Milleiites,  owing  to  an  "ancient  grudge  he  *>ore 
him,"  hated  Sam  like  smoke,  and  had  done  all  in  his  power  to  present 
his  admittance  among  the  "elect,"  but  all  to  no  purpose ;  Sam  would 
creep  in  at  every  meeting,  and  to  night  here  he  was  again,  dre$>s«U  in 
a  white  robe  of  cheap  cotton,  secured  to  his  body  1-v  »  beJ*>  M»d  i " 
ing  and  praying  as  loud  as  the  best 


It  BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

Now,  on  the  morning  of  the  third,  a  genius  named  Cabe,  had  vrth 
a  deal  of  perseverance,  and  more  trouble,  managed  to  throw  a  half- 
inch  hemp  cord  over  the  branch  of  an  oak  which  stretched  its  long 
arm  directly  over  the  spot  where  the  Millerites  would  assemble;  one 
end  he  had  secured  to  the  body  of  the  tree,  and  the  other  to  a  stump 
some  distance  off.  About  ten  o'clock,  when  the  excitement  was 
getting  about  "eighty  pounds  to  the  inch,"  Cabe,  wrapped  in  an  old 
beet,  walked  into  the  crowd,  and  proceeded  to  fasten  in  as  secure  a 
nanner  as  possible,  the  end  of  the  rope  to  the  back  part  of  the  belt 
which  confined  Sam's  robe;  and,  having  succeeded,  "sloped"  to  join 
some  of  his' companions  who  had  the  other  end.  The  few  stars  in  the 
sky  threw  a  dim  light  over  the  scene,  and  in  a  few  moments  the  voice 
>f  Sam  was  heard,  exclaiming 

"  O  Lor !  I'se  a  goin'  up '     Who-o-oh !" 


And,  sure  enough,  Sam  was  seen  mounting  into  the  "etherial  blue, 
his  was,  however,  checked   when  he  had  cleared  terra  firma  a  few 
eet      "Glory!"  cried   one;  "  Hallelujah  I"  another,  and  shrieks  and 
/ells  made  night  hideous ;  some  fainted,  others  prayed,  and  not  a  few 
dropped  their  robes  and  "  slid." 

Now,  whether  it  was  owing  to  the  lightness  of  his  head,  or  the 
length  and  weight  of  his  heels,  or  both,  Sam's  position  was  not  a 
pleasant  one ;  the  belt  to  which  Cabe's  cord  was  attached  was  bound 
exactly  round  his  centre  of  gravity,  and  Sam  swung  like  a  pair  of 
scales,  head  up  and  heels  down,  heels  up  and  head  down,  at  the  same 
time  sweeping  over  the  crowd  like  a  pendulum,  which  motion  was 
accelerated  by  his  strenuous  clapping  of  hands  and  vigorous  kicking 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLOB  DEVILS. 


ta 


At  length  he  became  alarmed ;  he  wouldn't  go  up  and  he  couldn  t 
come  down ! 

•'  Lor  a  massy  I"  cried  he,  "jest  take  up  poor  nigger  to  urn  bosom, 
or  lef  him  down  again,  easy,  easy.  Lef  him  down  agin,  please  um 
Lor,  and  dis  nigger  will  go  straight  to  um  bed  !  Ugh-h !" 

And  Sam's  teeth  chattered  with  affright,  and  he  kicked  again  more 

"igorously  than  before,  bringing  his  head  directly  downward  and  hia 

eels  up,  when  a  woman  shrieking  out,  "  O,    brother   Sam,  take  me 

yith  you !'  sprung  at  his  head   as  he  swept  by  her,  and  caught  him 

oy  tne  wool,  bringing  him  up  "  all  standing." 

"Gosh!  sister!"  cried  Sam,  "lef  go  urn  poor  nigger's  har  !" 

Cabe  gave  another  pull  at  the  rope,  but  the  additional  weight  was 
too  much ;  the  belt  gave  way  and  down  came  Sam,  his  bullet-head 
taking  the  leader  of  the  &aints  a  "feeler"  just  between  the  eyes. 

"  Gosh !  is  I  down  again  ?"  cried  the  bewildered  Sam,  gathering 
hiraselt  up.  "  I  is,  bress  de  Lor!  but  I  was  nearly  dar,  I  seed  de 
gate!" 

The  leader  took  Sam  by  the  nape  of  the  neck,  led  him  to  the  edge 
of  the  crowd,  and  giving  him  a  kick,  said: 

"Leave,  you  cussed  baboon!  you  are  so  ugly  Iknowcdthey  wouldn't 
let  you  in  !' 

How  Julius  Bow-shanks  Courted  Dinah  Fattibum. — 7n  By 

ronial   Vsrse. 

was  airly  on  a  summer's  morn, 

While  standin'  nigh  a  silent  mill, 
I  seed  her  take  a  paff  dat  led 

Directly  up  de  big  green  hill 
Two  milkin'  pails  war  in  her  grasp, 

And  as  she  tripped  along, 
I  tort  dat  form  I'd  like  to  clasp, 

Or  make  de  burden  ob  a  song. 

She  had  a  little  stream  to  cross, 

Dat  run  in  bubbles  nigh  de  road ; 
I  boldly  stepped  to  her  and  axed 

Ef  I  might  help  her  wid  her  load. 
She  raised  her  great  big  eyes  on  me, 

Dat  shine  as  bright  as  eb^nin'  star, 
And  set  de  pails  down  on  <.e  mass, 

And  said  she  raly  didn't  <M\ 


I  fust  set  boff  de  pails  across 

And  den  come  back  for  she, 
A  ad  lifting  her  up  by  de  waste, 

She  trembling  cross'd  de  plank  wi»  me. 


BLACK  JOKES  POH  BLUE  DEVII& 


When  I  clasped  her  in  my  arms, 

I  found  her  lims  was  berry  stout, 
But  good  fresh  milk  and  corned  pork 

Am  sure  to  bring  sich  tings  about 

When  we  reached  de  odder  side, 

We  boff  set  down  togedder, 
I  pressed  her  hand  'twixt  boff ob  mine, 

And  found  dem  like  sole  ledder. 
Dere  war  gum  bilea  on  ebery  jint, 

From  little  finger  to  de  t\jmb, 
But  oh  1  her  eyes  bewitched  me  so ! 

Deir  beauty  almost  struck  me  dumb, 

Upon  de  side  ob  dat  old  hill 

I  spent  de  happiest  hour 
Dat  mortal  eber  could  suppose 

Was  in  a  mortal  powei. 
For  oh  1  in  dat  brief  space  ob  time 

I  lost  and  gained  a  hart, 
And  I  tink  forde  time  it  took, 

'Twas  bein'  pretty  smart 

Don't  Touf 

Making  an  Apology. 

Hudolph  says  that  once  upon  a  time  a  colored  cook  expected 
pany  of  her  own  kind,  and  was  at  a  losa  to  entertain  her  friends. — 
Her  mistress  said : 

"Chloe,  you  must  make  an  apology." 

"Good  Lord!  missus,  how  can  I  make   it?    I  got  no  egga,  no 
butter,  nor  nothing  to  make  it  with." 

~     c  -  ..».„    rill  IJJj 


BLACK  JOKSS  FOU  BLUE  DEVILS. 


Tl 


Colored 

OBODY  HURT.— The  origin  of  the  deadlt 
feud  appeared  to  be— as  one  of  the  seconds 
stated — that  one  of  the  parties  "was  crossed 
in  lub  by  de  oder,  and  dat  him  hona  must 
hab  satisfaction."  The  proceedings  on  the 
field  of  battle  were  as  follows : 

After  having  taken  their  stands  one  of 
the  seconds  noticed  that  owing  to  then 
positions,  the  sunbeams  set  his  principal  to 
winking  and  rolling  his  eyes.  This  was 
sufficient  ground  for  interfering,  and  h 
calls  out  to  the  other  second  with : 

"  I  say,  I  puts  my  weto  on  that  possi- 
shun — it's  agin  de  rules  ob  all  de  codes  of 
hona  dat  I  see.  De  fraction  of  the  sun 
shines  rader  too  sewere,  and  makes  my 

principal  roll  him  eyes  altogedder  too  much." 

'  \Vy,  wy,  look  here,  didn't  we  chuck  up  a  dollar  for  de  choice  ol 
ground,  and  didn't  I  get  him  myself?" 

"Yes,  I  know  you  did,  but  den  fair  play  is  a  rule,  and  I'se  no  no- 
tion of  seein'  my  friend  composed  upon,  and  lose  all  the  vantage." 

"  Well,  I'ae  no  notion  as  you  is,  and  'sists  on  settlin*  the  matter 
iust  as  we  is — and — " 

At  this  juncture  a  friendly  cloud  settled  the  matter  at  once,  by 
stepping  in  between  the  sun  and  the  belligerents.  The  principals 
took  their  position,  and  all  the  little  preliminaries  being  settled,  each 
one  took  his  pistol,  ready  cocked,  from  his  second.  Both  manifested 
a  terrible  degree  of  spunk,  although  a  sort  of  blueish  paleness  over- 
spread their  black  cheeks.  The  second  who  was  to  give  out  the  fatal 
onli-r  which  might  send  them  out  of  this  world,  now  took  his  ground 
\aising  his  voice,  he  began  : 

"Gemmen,  your  time  .am  come." 

Hoth  signified  tlieir  assent 

"  Is  you  ready  ?     FL-'h !  one,  two,  three." 

Bang,  pop,  went  both  pistols  at  once,  one  ball  raising  the  dust  ic 
ihe  middle  of  the  road,  while  the  other  took  a  "slantindicular"  course 
among  the  bystanders,  fortunately  without  hitting  any  one. 

It  was  now  time  to  interpose,  and  one  of  the  seconds  set  himself 
about  it.  After  a  little  conversation  the  challenged  darkey  stepped 
forward  and  said  to  his  antagonist: 

"  Nigga,  is  you  satisfied  ?" 

"  I  is." 

"So  is  I,  and  I's  glad  to  get  off  so.  Next  time  dey  catches  dii 
^hile  out  on  such  a  foolish  exhibition  as  dis  dey  will  fotch  me.  da* 
dey  will  do  for  sartin." 

"Dem's  my  sentiment*  edzautly,"  n.'tortui!  th^  cthej    "  When  you; 

\<  }•.    -  ' 


.0  BLAOK  JOKKS   ]''o|{    I!LUK   HKVILH. 

onnjortal  instrument  of  def  went  off  I  declare  I  thought  I  was  a  gon« 
child ;  but  I'se  so  happy  now — gosh  let's  shake  hands,  and  go  back 
to  our  avocation." 

In  a  short  time  all  hands,  principal  and  seconds,  were  forgetting 
the  morning's  sport  in  a  friendly  breakdown,  accompanied  by  the  fa- 
miliar music  of  the  Banjo,  Bones,  and  Tamborine. 


I^wAw**^^ 

High  Tariff  Language. 

"  Ginger,  did  you  eber  hear  my  scientific  language  upon  dat  good 
old  melody  ob — 

Dance,  de  boatman,  dance, 

Dance  all  night  til"  broad  daylight, 

And  go  home  wic  le  gals  in  de  morning? 

Bf  ingle  in  de  mazes  ob  de  dance,  thou  knight  ob  de  oar  while  de  re- 
splendant  luminary  ob  de  day  has  widrawn  his  light  from  de  earf,  till 
*e  bright  Aurora  gilds  de  eastern  sky  wid  golden  light,  and  den  wid 
hy  characteristic  gallantry,  accompany  the  fair  and  unsophisticated 
participants  ob  dy  pleas-ires  to  dar  paternal  mansions.  Ah,  honey, 
dat  am  high  tariff  language.1' 

Dey  Won't  Smell  Strong  in  Heaven. 

Camp  meetings  are  famous  in  calling  together  large  numbers  oi 
darkeys,  as  well  as  others  in  the  South.  A  late  camp  meeting  on  the 
line  of  one  of  our  main  railroads  was  in  no  way  deficient  in  collecting 
the  usual  numbers.  The  platforms  at  the  different  railroad  stations, 


BLACK  JOKKS  FOR  BLUB  DEVILS. 


ftota  east  and  west  of  the  carnp,  were  crowded  with  those  desirous  ol 
swelling  the  numbers  at  the  "  tented  grove,"  among  which  were  the 

usual  proportion  of  darkeys.  The  train  stopped  at  M .  Twc 

young  men  were  sitting  together,  facing  an  old  woman  who  had  been 
for  some  time  engaged  in  singing  some  doleful  tune.  As  the  crowd 
entered  the  cars,  one  of  our  fi  Sends  remarked  to  the  other : 

"  They  turn  out  strong  tins  morning." 

"  Well,"  says  the  old  darkey  opposite,  "  if  we  do  smell  strong  here, 
when  we  get  to  heaven  we  won't — bless  the  Lord!" 

A  Pole-ar  Sleeping  Place. 

;XTRAORDINARY— A  man  stopped  at  de 
hotel  where  I  work ;  after  dismounting  and 
tieing  his  horse,  says  he  : 

"  Hallo,  landlord,  can  I  get  lodgings  here  to 
night?" 

De  boss  says . 

"  No,  sir,  ebery  room  in  ae  house  is  en- 
gaged." 

"Well,  can't  you  eben  gib  me  a  blanket,  ana 
a  bunch  ob  shavings  for  a  pillow,  in  your  bar- 
room?" 

"No,  sir,  dar's  not  a  square  foot  ob  room 
^xanywhar  in  de  house." 

"Well,  den,"  said  de  traveller,  "I'll  thank 
you  to  shove  a  pole  out  ob  your  second  floox 
^vindow,  and  I'll  roost  on  dat.'' 

An  Irrepressible    Conflict. 


Ike  Country  is  Safe. 

"  Say,  Zeke,  you  cughter  be  more  careful  ob  yourself;  you  haren  \ 
got  de  constitution  ob  some." 

"Ah,  Reuben,  don't  you  belebe  it;  I've  got  de  constitution  ob  ft 
horse." 

"Dam  if  I  don't  belebe  I've  got  de  constitution  of  the  United 
States." 

"  Well,  Zeke,  if  you  am  sound  as  dat  you  will  last  a  long  time.  ' 


78 


BLACK  JOKES  FOR  BLUE  DEVILS. 

SJiarp  Set. 


"Joe,  you  know  dat  boy  ob  miue  beats  de  berry  debil;  lie  takes 
arter  his  m udder." 

"Well,  Ginger,  boys  am  like  vinegar — de  more  "  mudder  "  dur  is 
in  'em,  de  sharper  dey  gets." 


THE    END. 


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pressiLi;  ..|ires    t(J 

whom  corn-  attended  with  considerable  difficulty 

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of  reeling,  a  nd  t  lie  wa  rmth  of  expi  „  -en 

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contains  a  large  and  clioiee  collection  of  new  and  original  games  for 
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literary  parties  and  dances-Teas,  luncheons,  dinners,  breakfasts  ete 
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r.-  ^  for  A1*>nm  Writers.    This  is  a 

rery  handy  book  for  the  selection  of  an  appropriate  verse  for  insertion 
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De  Witt's  Humorous  School  Dialogues.    A  cboiee 

selleotioiA  of  ffltrtb-pravofeiag  p  •mine  fun  and  harmless 

I  to  drav  ir  from  the  most  seriously  inclined. 

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collection  of  the  best  patriotic  dialogues  for  schools,  academies,  and  so-, 
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De  Witt's  Preferred  School  Dialogues.  Many  of 
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paid,  on  receipt  of  10  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

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satire,  yet  of  pure  morality.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of! 
1O  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash.  ' 

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school,  parlor  a-nd  entertainment  pupj'  .y  mail,  post-paid,  oa 

r»eeipt  of  1 0  Cent*.    U.  S.  peatage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

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De  Witt's   Connecticut    Cook    Book  and   House- 

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Mystery  of  I^ove,    Courtship   and  Marriage 

PLAINED.     It  explains  how  maidens  m;i  -ind 

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Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

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Popular  Books— Sent  Post-Paid  at  the  Prices  Marked 

Von  Boyle's  Recherche  Recitations.  A  collection  of 
the  choicest  eloquent,  pathetic,  and  sentimental  pieces,  suitable  for  read- 
Inland  recitation,  to  Be  found  ill  the  Knglis!,  language.  Among  those 
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vet  in  all  cases  great  powers,  as  Jean  Ingelow,  Charles  Kingh-y,  George 
EUot  M  irk  twain,  A.  J.  H.  Duganne,  It  J.  Burdette.  and  the  genial  Von 
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Cooper's  Dutch  Dialect  Readings  and  Recitations. 

In  this  new  book,  compiled  by  George  Cooper,  can  be  found  an  abunda 
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lowing are  a  few  of  the  titles  of  selections  contained  in  this  bookt-A 
Dutchman's  Answer-A  Dutchman's  Testimony  in  a  Steamboat  C;*e- 
BrSanln  Maryland-Carl  Dunder  Talks  to  the  Children-  Der  Mghd 
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and  a  great  many  others.    Send  for  a  copy  and  have     bushels  of  fun. 
Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cei  ts.      

Cooper's    Yankee,   Hebrew,  and  Italian  Dialect 

READINGS  AND  RECITATIONS.  This  new  book,  compiled  by  GKOKCJE 
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wil not permit  of  a  list  of  its  contents,  but  w.  -ay  that,  no 
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post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. ^ 

Cooper's  Irish  Dialect  Readings  and  Recitations. 

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^efollowinf  are  a  few  of  the  titles  of  Bel<  mtalned  In  tins  i«>ok: 

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Cooper's  Comic  Readings  and  Recitations,    This 

is  a  new  volume  compiled  by  -;' ];'  | 

and  readings  contained  therein  ha  '  /  •  rl  i 

form  and  its  com 

renowned  humorists  as  Mark  Twain.  Josh  inns  \\ard,  bn-t 
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mail.  ]•  .it  of  25  Cents. 


ADPRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

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Popular  Books.— Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prices  Marked. 

Wehman's  Card  Games,  and  How  to  Play  them. 

This  is  a  new  and  handy  edition,  including  .ill  the  principal  and  popular 
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Captain  Webb's  Swimming  Instructor.     This  book. 


con  tarns  all  the  practical  and  progressive  swimming  motions  nece»* 


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Herrman's  Tricks  with  Cards.      Herrman,  the  great 

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formed many  of  the  tricks  contained  in  this  book  to  crowded  houses  to 
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plete and  plain  explanation  as  to  the  manipulation  of  a  pack  of  cards  to 
perform  numerous  tricks,  with  or  without  special  apparatus.  It  would 
take  many  times  this  space  to  mention  all  the  different  kinds  of  card 
tricks  set  forth  in  this  work.  Its  contents  includes  the  latest  tricks  and 
deceptions  with  cards,  and  is  well  adapted  for  home  amusements  and 
social  entertainments.  To  lovers  of  the  marvelous  and  ingenious  this 
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fully  illustrated  with  seventy  beautiful  engravings,  so  that  a  child  could 
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the  Wizard's  Art,  suitable  for  public  or  private  entertainments,  either 
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stead of  sitting  like  a  drone  or  dummy,  procure  a  copy  of  this  book  and 
learn  a  few  tricks,  in  a  few  hours.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of 
25  Cents.  United  States  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

Wehman's  Manual  of  Photography.    A  hand-book 

*f  instructions  in  the  art  of  dry-plate  photography.  This  is  a  series  of 
practical  lessons  in  photography,  in  which  the  aim  of  the  author,  Prof.1 
William  dishing,  Ph.  D..  is  to  bring  both  theory  and  practice  well  within 
ihe  comprehension  of  young  people.  It  embraces  all  the  necessary  in^ 
structions  on  the  subject,  and  any  bov  or  girl  can  learn  from  its  con* 
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ready  for  a  shot— Making  an  exposure— The  laboratory  and  its  outfit- 
Developing  the  picture— The  blue  printer— Silver  printing  A  home-made 
photographic  camera,  etc.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25o. 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

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Popular  Books.—  Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prices  Marked 

Wehman'  s  Selection  of  Popular  Recitation*,  No.  i. 

ThiH  book.  the  tirsf  of  the  scries,  contains  ,v>  rocitauous  •  ,tn^"  of 

Hill.  Ire  aiul  p; 

with  it  after  athos,  and 

humorand  :  i;"r 

to  al  ouiicl  in  i  :.  on 

:   '25  <\'U«».    U.  S.  i  - 


Wehman'  8  Selection  of  Populnr  Rccitnti  >.  ?.. 

Thi- 

tions  of  gects;  some  full  o 

tilled  with  broad  humor  and  Irreslstio 

to   all   <«  k.    Tliis 


of  pi,  nttrely  d 

paid,  tm  receipt  of  2i>  Cents. 


Wehman' s  Selection  of  Popular  Recitations,  No.  3. 

This  book,  the  third  of  the  series, 
tions  ot  wide  •met' nil  of  stren^' 

others  overfl  '  and  swee 

filled  with  broad  humor  ami  irres:,-  >ilery,  ai 

tations  appropriate  to  all  '".1  in  t'n  se- 

lect i  1  and  2  AH, 

1,  on  iv.  :,>  Cent*. 

ash. 

Well  man's  Selection  of  Popular  Recitations,  No.  4. 

This  book,  the  fourth  of  i  careful!; 

tions  of  wide  -in; 

others  overt  '!  others 

filled  with  broad  hun  •  popular,    i; 

tan 

ail 
•  paid,  on  iv  --I5   <  ems.     Clean  and  unused  United  States 

Gus  Williams'  Fireside  Recitations,  No.  r.      This 

book,  tl 

iii}:  a-;d  effec  Many  of 

th'-                  In  tills  book  have  been  ivci'e-1  bv  ery 

mark  of  ap!^  'I'ito 

standard  pieces  are  ;  ewrr  and  fn-sher 

jiroductions  tliat  are  dilli'  ,tO  iind  in  an,\  one  volume. 

Sent  by  mail.  i  ">  < 


'     Gus  Williams'  Fireside  Recitations.  No.  2.      Tin'?, 

book,  tl:  :  icces  inj 

prose  and  n  for  rea.ilin«  and  speakinur  bv  the' 

jncinb--.  rcles.    n  must  be  rememberea  that  be- 

cause Mr.  \\  ieia 

merely  a  funny  mail.     Humor  is  ;  ter; 

he  i  i-  his  line  perception  ami  delineation  of  i  ous  sen- 

timents,   li  tly  the  kind  of  art  irt  a  hearty  laugh,  or 

—us  in  this  work— ft)  beguile  us  of  our  paid,  or. 

;pt  of  25   rents.     U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same 

ADDRESS  ALL  OKDKKS  TO 

HENRY  J.  WEKMAN,  Publisher,  108  Park  Row,  New  York 


Popular  Boofrs.—  Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prices  Marfod 

Wehman's  Book  on  Dogs.      How   to  keep  and  train 

them.  Descriptions  of  the  various  'breeds,  their  characteristics  and 
points,  and  their  management  in  health  ami  disease.  Sent  by  mail, 
post-paid,  on  receipt  of  10  Cents. 

Wehman's    Book   on    Rabbits.      How    to    breed    and 

manage  them.  Tells  how  to  arrange  their  houses,  and  gives  careful  in- 
structions as  to  their  food  and  treatment,  both  in  health  and  disease. 
Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  10  Cents. 

,;  Wehman's  Book  on  Pigeons.  For  pleasure  and  profit. 
•ells  of  the  different  varieties,  both  wild  and  amnestic,  with  full  direc- 
ROIIB  for  their  breeding  an  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of 

to  Cents.    U.  S.  p'  ;imps  taken  same  as  cash. 

jl  Wehman's  Book  on  Song  Birds.  Tells  liow  to  roar 
and  treat  all  the  birds  that  are  capable  of  being  domesticated  as  house- 
hold songters,  in  health  and  disease.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt 
Of  10  Cents.  U.  S.  pi  imps  taken  same  as  cash. 

Wehman's  Book  on  Pets.    Their  care  and  management, 

including  squirrels,  guinea  pigs,  white  mice.  etc.  Also,  instructions  for 
aquariums,  and  the  care  of  sil'k  worms.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  re- 
ceiptof  1O  Cents.  U.  8.  postage  stamps  t^tcen  same  as  cash, 

De  Witt's  Complete  American  farrier  and  Horse 

DOCTOR.  An  American  book  for  American  horsemen;  with  copious 
notes  from  the  best  English  and  American  authorities,  showing  plainly 
bow  to  breed,  rear,  buy,  sell,  cure,  shoe,  and  keep  that  most  useful  ana 
valuable  animal,  the  horse.  With  many  superior  illustrations.  Sent  by 
mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25 


Wehman's  Practical  Poultry  Book.  Many  old- 
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money  in  poultry.  Why?  Because  they  are  not  up  to  the  new  and  im 
proved  ideas  in  poultry  management.  A  little  trial  of  the  rules  laid  dovjj 
In  this  book  will  soon  dispel  all  misgivings  in  this  direction,  and  ten3  to 
convince  the  most  skeptical  that  there  is  money  in  poultry-keeping. 
Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Wehman's  American  I^ive  Stock  Manual.  Many  a 
man  has  lost  a  valuable  animal  for  no  other  reason  than  lie  did  not  know 
how  to  take  care  of  it  when  well,  or  treat  it  properly  wh«n  sick.  The 
cost  of  this  book  is  but  a  trifle,  but  it  is  simply  worth  its  weight  in  gold 
to  any  man  who  owns  cattle  of  any  kind,  for  it  is  a  complete  text-book, 
containing  the  fullest  information  regarding  the  rearing  of  live  stock, 
both  in  health  and  disease.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cts. 

Wehman's   Complete   Dancing   Master  and  Call 

BOOK.  All  the  figures  of  the  German  and  every  new  and  fashionable 
fiance  known  in  Europe  or  America.  This  book  is  written  in  so  simple  a 
manner  that  any  child,  by  reading  it,  can  ";  xpert  in  dancing 

without  the  aid  of  a  teacher.  All  the  latest  and  fashionable  (lances  are 
•minutely  described  by  illustration  from  life,  explaining  positions  in 
round  dances;  etc.,  and  this  original  method  enables  persons  to  learn  the 
waltz  by  practicing  it  a  very  few  times.  Hints  on  the  management  of 
balls,  etc.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

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Popular  Books.— Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prices  Marked 

Wehman's   Book  of  Carious  Characters.    As  the 

Wtle  suggests,  this  book  tells  of  curious  characters,  each  of  whom  has 
been  remarkable  in  some  distinctive  way  from  the  rest  of  the  human 
race.  It  tells  of  the  sagacity  of  an  idiot— Of  a  stone-eater  Of  hermits, 
etc.  It  also  tells  of  a  lot  of  great  people  who  died  on  their  birthdays,  one 
of  the  most  conspicuous  of  which  is  Shal;<  the  dramatic  writer, 

who  was  lx>rn  on  the  r«d  of  April,  anil  died  at  the  place  of  his  birth  on 
his  birthday,  in  1610,  aged  52.  It  is  a  very  interesting  book  to  read,  and 
itscost  is  but  a  nominal  one  com  pared  with  its  intrinsic  value.  It  relates 
facts,  not  fancies,  and,  therefore,  contains  a  lot  of  information  worth  ac- 
quiring. Copiously  illustrated.  Printed  on  a  good  quality  of  paper, 
from  clear,  readable  type,  and  bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Price 
10  Cents  per  copy,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

•  •  •"  .         .  •..  -.-....  ,„  i      ,  i  .  » 

Wehman's  Book  on  Hunting  the  Elephant:  or. 
ADVENTURES  IN  SOUTH  AFRICA.  The  elephants  are  characterized 

by  great  massiveness  of  body,  constituting  them  the  largest  of  living 
terrestrial  mammals,  by  peculiarities  of  dentition,  and  by  the  possession 
of  a  lengthened  proboscis  or  trunk.  The  elephant  is  an  unwieldy  crea- 
ture, weighing  fully  three  tons,  supported  on  colossal  limbs;  continues 
to  grow  for  upwards  of  thirty  years,  and  to  live  for  more  than  nOO,  there 
being  well-authenticated  cases  of  elephants  that  lived  over  130  years  in 
captivity.  The  elephant  is.  therefore,  an  interesting  object  to  read 
about.  There  are  nyo  existing  species  of  elephants— the  African  and  the 
Asiatic.  The  following  are  a  few  of  the  subjects  tieated  on  in  this  book", 
viz.:— Hunting  tho  elephant— Headlong  charge  of  a  furious  elephant— 
Death  of  the  elephant— Shooting  elephants  by  moonlight— Riding  a  bull 
elephant-White  and  black  rhinoceroses— Shooting  a  rhinoceros— Hunting 
the  hippopotamus,  giraffes,  <  iously  illustrated.  Printed  on  a 

good  quality  of  paper,  Irom  clear,  readable  type,  and  bound  in  handsome 
colored  cover.  Price  1O  Cents  per  copy,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

Wehman's  Book  on  Hunting  in  Africa,'  or,  Perils 

OF  A  FOREST  LIKE.  This  book  relates  the  experiences  of  a  brave 
man,  born  with  as  innate  a  tove  of  sport  as  Virgil's  bees  for  making 
honey.  It  tellsabout  hunting  lions-  Shooting  a  lioness— Driving  an  eland 
towards  camp— Mr.  Cummings  chased  by  a  black  rhiin  -Hooting 

a.poacher— Night  adventure  with  six  lions— Attack  on  four  patriarchal 
lions,  and  a  lot  of  other  thrilling  adventures.  Parents  can  safely  place 
this  book  in  the  hands  of  their  children,  as  it  relat  not  fancies. 

Ming  a  hook  of  this  kind  will  wean  youthful  ivrders  from  pernicious 
literature,  and  improve  their  understanding  and  their  taste.  Copiously 
illustrated.  Printed  on  a  good  quality  of  paper,  from  clear,  readable 
type,  and  bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Price  1 0  Cents  per  copy, 
by  mail,  post-paid.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

The  Dundreary  Joke  Book.    This  book  is  filled  chock- 

full  with  side-splitting  stories,  queer  conce>  al  conundrums,  dry 

droll  dialogues,  and  lots  of  jokes  calculai  use  roars  of  hearty 

laughter.  The  following  are  a  few  of  the  titles  of  witty  stories  contained 
in  this  book,  viz.:  —She  had  him  there  —  A  competent  witness  —  Young 
America  at  the  wheel— A  music-store  scene— A  Dutchman  abroad— Awful 
— Heaving  the  lead— Better  than  a  good  joke— How  a  Texan  woman  per- 
suaded her  husband  to  go  home— A  basket  of  cider— A  strong  hint— Kiss 
my  wife  or  fight— Dry-goods'  slang—An  American  buyer  puzzling  an 
English  seller -A  compromising  spirit— Advice  to  marriageable  girls- 
How  to  write  for  the  ;ro  sermon,  and  a  lot  of  others  equally 
funny.  Printed  on  a  good  quality  of  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type, 
and  bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  It  is  Illustrated  with  numerous 
engravings.  1'rice  1O  Ceuts  per  copy,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

ADDHESS  ALL  OKIiKKS  TO 

HENRY  J.WEHMAN,  Publisher,  1 08  Park  Row,  New  York. 


Popular  BOOKS.— Sent  post-paid  a?  the  Prices  Matted 

Prescott's  Drawing-Room  Recitations.  A  fine  selec- 
tion of  tragic,  comic  and  dialectic  pieces,  carefully  chosen  as  being  pe- 
culiarly well  adapted  for  reciting  before  select  audiences  in  refined  do- 
mestic circles.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Webster' s  Reciter ;  or  Elocution  Made  Easy,  Fif. 
teen  full-page  illustrations  plainly  showing  the  proper  attitudes  of  the 
figure.  The  various  expressions  of  the  face,  and  the  different  inflections 
and  modulations  of  the  voice  are  clearly  explained.  Containing  choice 
selections  of  the  most  thrilling,  passionate,  heroic  and  patriotic  speeches 
and  poems;  with  appropriate  instructions.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on 
receipt  of  25  Canto. 

De  Witt's  School  Vocalist.  The  editor  of  this  work,' 
George  W.  Bungay,  has  spared  no  pains  in  preparing  a  collection  of  ovei 
eighty  solos,  duets,  trios,  semi-choruses,  choruses,  rounds,  catches,  pa. 
triotic  arid  national  airs,  each  having  a  complete  musical  score,  arranged 
especially  for  the  book  by  Henry  Tucker.  They  are  designed  expressly 
for  school  use,  and  suitable  to  children's  voices.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid, 
on  receipt  of  85  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

May-Time.  This  book  contains  a  beautiful  collection  of 
poems,  exhibitions,  dialogues,  tableaux  and  games,  suitable  for  May-day 
and  other  spring  exercises,  and  also  a  brief  history  of  the  ceremonies 
with  which  spring  has  been  celebrated.  The  poems  have  been  selected 
from  standard  authors,  and  the  dialogues  are  such  as  have 'given  satis- 
faction on  similar  occasions,  while  the  tableaux  and  games  afford  va- 
riety, and  it  is  the  object  of  the  author  that  they  should  be  used  for  out- 
door  performances.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  2  5  fen  ts. 

Wehman's  Bosk  of  Errors  in  Speaking  and  Writing 

CORRECTED.  An  admirable  little  book  of  the  kind,  containing  many 
examples  of  RIGHT  and  WRONG  uses  of  words,  with  valuable  rules  for 
spelling,  and  for  the. rightful  and  elegant  construction  of  sentences. 
Also  a  chapter  on  "Don't,"  and  a  number  of  familiar  synonyms  all 
forming  a  most  valuable  and  convenient  little  manual,  which  cannot 
fail  to  be  of  use  to  all  who  consult  it.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  an  receipt 
of  1O  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

Wehman's  Comic  Speeches  and  Recitations.  This 
book  contains  a  choice  collection  of  comic  speeches  and  recitations  de- 
signed to  meet  the  wants  of  those  who  wish  to  entertain  their  friends 
with  something  "rellshable,"  or  for  those  who  like  to  while  awuy  their 
leisure  time  in  reading  something  that  is  humorous,  also  for  those  who 
wish  to  forget  trouble  and  drive  away  the  "blues"  for  the  time  being 
and  promote  cheerfulness  and  wholesome  laughter  instead.  The  collec- 
tion comprises  131  selections  of  all  styles  of  dialect.  Sent  by  mail,  post 
paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Brudder  Kinkhead's  Stump  Speeches  and  Drofll 

DISCOURSES.  This  book  is  "crammed,  jammed  and  heaped-up"  with 
" rib-tickling "  and  "side-splitting "reading  matter— the  very  iuice  anil 
cream  of  colored  oratory.  The  bulk  of  its  contents  will  serve  to  maka 
those  laugh  who  never  laughed  before,  and  those  who  always  lauorh, 
laugh  all  the  more.  The  following  are  a  few  of  the  selections  contained 
in  this  book:— A  moving  sermon— A  hard-shell  sermon— A  negro's  ac- 
count of  the  prodigal  son— Brother  Gardner  and  Judge  Cadavar—  Bur- 
lesque oration  on  matrimony— Election  stump  speech— How  de  Norf  Pole 
got  lost— Rev.  Uncle  Jim  and  Bob  Ingersoll,  and  a  great  number  of 
others.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  ou  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORBKRS  TO 

HENRY  a.  WEHMAN,  Publisher,  1 08  Park  Row,  New  Yo* 


Popular  Books.—  Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prices  Markxl 

DC  Witt's  Choice  Readings  and  Select  Recitations, 

No.   1.  "•",  tlu>  first  of  tlic  »  •  :<>(.:  readings 

and  recilati"iis  upon  a  variety  ofsiibj'  all  int-eresti-n.Lr.     In  short, 

quantity,  quality,  and  low  price  are  its  salient  features.    Sent  by  mail, 

post-paid.  ;>t  "I'    1  O    ('Gilts. 

Mnciiuliiy's  Acting  Dialogues.     Containing  nearly  one 
hundred  of  i  dialogues  in  the  language,  including  choice  pi. 

tor  from  two  t<>  tifi"  '.'ii  characters.    Tin  a  are.    all   eminently 

dramatic,  affording  ever;  good  chance  to  LCT  our  the  differ 

aid,  on  i-  25 


I    DC  Witt's  Choice  Readings  and  Select  Recitations, 

No.  2.    This  boo!  -  "iid  of  tin;  scries,  contains   is  choice  readings 

and  recitations  upon  a  variety  of  subjects,  and  all  interesting.    The  con- 
teii'  Is  book  is  entirely  din'op-nt  from  No.  i.    In  short,  quantity, 

quality,  and  low  )irii  salient  features.    Sent  by  mail,  post-paid, 

on  i  1  O  Cent*.    U.  S.  postago  stamps  taken  same  , 

/),"  Witi's  Choice  Readings  and  Select  Recitations, 
No.  3.    Thia  book,  the  third  i,contaii  :<•(•  readings 

and  ri-ciiations  upon  a  variety  of  subjects,  and  all  interesting.    The  coii- 
tenlsi.i  -in  from  Nos.  1  iitul  ii.     In  short,  (iiuin- 

tity.  quality  and  lo\v  prici'  are.  its  salieni  >>'  mail,  post- 

paid, m.  ii'  iocciita.    Clean  and  unused  U.  S  stamps 

De  Wilt's  Choice  Readings  and  Select  Recitations, 

No.  4.    This  b,  to!;,  the  1'oui-tti  of  is,  contains  68  choice  readings 

andreci'  and  all  interesting.    The  i 

tents  of  this   I  .....  k  is  entirely  diii'erent  t'l'om  Nos.  1,  2and8.     In  short, 
quantity,  quality,  and  low  je  ;s  salient  features.    Sent  by  mail. 

post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1O  <'ent*.    Clean  and  unused  United  "States 
poeta  h. 

De  Witt's  Choice  Readings  and  Select  Recitations, 

?Jo.  5.    This  book,  the  fifth  of  tl  .contains    11  die  .  ajjs 

and  r--;-ita.tio;is  u]ioii  a  variety  of  subjects,  and  all  interesting.    The  con- 
tents <>'  this  bo  ok  is  onii:  froni  Nos.  1,  2,  3  and  C    In  short, 

quantity,  quality,  an('  low  price  are  Its  salient  features.    81  :ail, 

post-pa  :;!.   -.11   receipt   1O  CeiitM.      Clean  and    unused    United   States 
post;:  h. 

Gus  Willjams'  Standard  Recitations.     C'.'iitainii  ••$  a 

freat  number  of  path  M>rful.  instructive-and  humorous  arti 

y  tlie  best  authors  ::)'  the  tini  of  Which  have  been   delivered  by 

the  rcmipiier,  \\  irti  evci'y  mark  of  ]iopular  iiet'ore  lar.ue  and 

Intellectual  auih  United  States.     Printed  on  a  j_;ood 

quality  of  p.-i  per.  from«cle«-r.  readable  type,  and  bound  'ially  in 

1  <>   <    OlltN. 

Wehman's  Selection  of  Popular  Dialogues,  No.  i. 

This  hook,  the  lir  les,  contains  a  lar^e  number  of  thw  h'1 

dialo^ui's  in  our  Uiniiua^e.     Adapted   Tor  parlor  ei  ••  ial 

gati  :,     Many  of  tne  dialoLrnes  in  ihisbook 

new  an  i  and  cannot  be  found  in  any  other  book.    <•' 

car.  ;en  in  the  prepai  .-ing 

to  insert  nothing  but  am"of  the  "whole  iieid  "  of  popular  dia- 

logues, suitabli;  fur  jirivate  or  public  recital.    'Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on 

;pt  of  25  'Cents.     U.  S.  uiw-taue  stamp  ,i«h. 

AniUlKSS  ALI,  OUDKRs 

HENRY  J.  WEHM  AN,  Publisher,  1  08  Park  Row,  New  York 


Popular  Books.—  Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prices  Marked 

De  Witt's  Superior  School  Dialogues.    As  the  title 

suggests,  so  the  contents  of  Mi  is  book.    Containing  carefully  selected 


pieces  for  se^iooL,  academy  and  exhibition  uee,  its  salient  features  are 
quality,  quantil  •  .tall  price.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of 

1O  Cents.    U.  S.  postage  stamp,  ,ish. 

I     De  Witt's  Thespian  School  Dialogues.    Containing 

achoiet  'ii  of  din  or  private  theatricals,  and  for 

the  use  of  dramatic  Mons.    Tliese  pieces  are  all  eminently  dra- 

matic, affording  every  young  person  a  chance  to  show  his  particular 
genius.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1O  Outs. 

Webster's  Progressive  Speaker.  A  very  fine  selection 
of  most  admirable  pieces.  Just  i  ••  Meeded  in  the  higher  classes  of 

schools,  and  for  pleasant  home  Well    printed,  from 

Clear,  readable  type,  and  bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Sent  by 
mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken 
same  as  cash. 

De  Witt's  Perfection  School  Dialogues.    By  O.  Au- 

gusta Cheney.  Containing  the  following  dialogues,  viz*:  The  Ghostlj 
visitation—  Practical  ill:.-  Mr.  Smith's  Hay  at  Home  The  Couu 

try  Cousin—  Taking  Position  itobison's  Present—  Mrs.  IMarden'.* 

Lesson—  The  Magic  Mirror.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  lOc. 
U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

"Webster's  Youthful  Speaker.  Contain  in  gag  real  num- 
ber of  choice,  eloquent,  and  effective  pieces,  eminently  suitable  for  dec- 
lamation by  intermediate  pupils  in  school  exhibitions,  and  on  similar 
occasions.  Well  printed  on  good  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and 
bound  in  handsome  colored  <•<  >it  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of 

Twenty-five  Cents.    U.  S.  po.  nips'  tak<  18  cash. 

De  Witt's  Academic  School  Dialogues.     By  O.  Au- 

gnsta  Cheney.  Containing  the  following  selection  of  popular  dialogues, 
viz.:—  Mr.  Bliss'  Vision—High  Life  P.elow  Stairs—  Boarding  on  a  Farm- 
Taming  a  Wife—  John  Smith's  Trials—  \unt  U;:  .  -ight-  The  Hypo- 

chondriac Cured—  Aunt  Patience's  Ear-Trumpet.  Sent  by  mail,  post- 
paid, on  receipt  of  1O  Cents.  U.S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

De  Witt's  Platform  School  Dialogues.     By  Horatio 

Alger  and  O.  Augusta  Cheney.  A  carefully  selected  collection  of  dia- 
logues that  have  nearly  all  been  used  at  exhibit  ions  in  different  parts  of 
the  country,  and  met  with  great  success,  which  led  to  their  publication. 
Although  meant  for  representation,  i  .-.-ill  rind  them  a  source  of 

entertainment.  These  pieces  are  the  best  of  their  kind.  Sent  by  mail, 

i  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1O  Cents.    U.  S.  postage,  stamps  taken  same 

las  cash. 

(  Wehman's  Recitations  for  Christmas.  Edited  by 
j  Margaret  Holmes.  Sixty  choice  selections  from  the  best  writers,  suit- 

able for  use  in  Christmas  entertainments  in  church  and  school.    Among 

the  authors  represented  are  Dickens,  Alclrich,  Howells,  Lew  Wallace,  R. 
!  II.  Stoddard,  John  Boyle  O'Reilly,  Herrick,  Coleridge,  Geo.  W.  Curtis, 

Margaret  Holmes,  Thomas  Nelson  Page,  Julia  (ioddavd,  Phoebe  Gary,  and 
I  Thomas  Hood.  Well  printed,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and  bound  in 

handsome  colored  cover.    Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  cts. 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

HENRY  J.  WEHMAN,  Publisher,  108  Park  Row,  New  York 


Popular  Books. —SBnt  post-paid  at  th«  Prices  Ma  rind 

Wehman's  American  National  Songs.      This  book 

contains  ;i  c  Action  of  nearly  100  of  the  most  .popular  American 

patriotic  and  natioi  The  following  are  a  few  of  the 

Cities  Of  songs  contained  in  this  book,  viz.:— A  call  to  arms— After  the 
war— A  knot' of  blue  and  gray— The  American  boy- America;  or.  My 
country  'tis  of  thee— An  American  toast— And  so  will  the  boys  in  blue— 
A  thousand  years,  my  own  Columbia— A  Yankee  man  o'  war— A  Yankee 
ship  and  a  Yankee  crew— Battle-cry  of  freedom— Battle  hymn  of  the  re- 
public—Battle of  Bull  Run— Brave  boys  are  they— Brother's  fainting  at 
the  door— The  charge  at  Roanoke— Cheer,  boys,  cheer— Columbia  rules 
•the  sea— Flag  of  liberty-  Flag  of  our  union— Flag  of  the  free— The  flags 
of  all  nations— Hail  Columbia — Just  after  the  battle— Just  before  the 
•battle,  mother— Mother,  is  the  battle  over?— My  country's  flag  of  stars- 
Old  glory  waves  on  high— The  red,  white  and  blue— The  soldier's  funeral 
j—Stand  by  the  nag -The  Star-spangled  banner — Tramp,  tramp,  tramp, 
(the  bovs  are  in.  Unfurl  the  glorious  banner— We  are  coming, 

{Father  Abraham— When  this  cruel  war  is  over?— Willie  has  gone  to  the 
•*war— Yankee  doodle,  anil  a  lot  of  other  equally  popular  national  songs. 
A  good  book  to  place  in  the  hands  of  America's  youth,  as  its  contents 
will  iiniuie  them  with  the  true  spirit  of  American  independence  and  pa- 
triotism—in ry  American  ought  to  secure  a  copy  of  this  book,  as 
its  contents  is  full  of  strength,  fire  and  patriotism.  Bound  in  handsome 
colored  cover.  Price  1 0  Cents  per  copy,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

The  Red  Hot  Joker.     "Oh,  for  a  thousand  tongues," 

an  urchin  remarked  when  inside  a  molasses  hogshead,  and  you  will  wish 
you  had  a  thousand  such  books  as  this  after  you  look  into  this  one.  It 
is  funny  from  beginning  to  end,  and  will  serve  to  drive  dull  care  away 
and  promote  cheerfulness  instead.  It  contains  hot  and  cold  jokes,  soft 
and  hard  jokes;  jokes  that  are  boiled,  baked,  toasted  and  fried;  jokes 
that  are  rare  and  jok^s  well  done— in  fact,  jokes  suited  to  all  tastes.  In 
short,  it  is  a  n'd-hot  bill  of  fare  for  everybody  who  enjoys  a  wholesome 
repast  comprised  of  the  above-named  dishes.  It  also  contains  a  number 
of  essays  and  anecdotes  that  cannot  fail  to  amuse,  and  the  following  are 
a  few  of  the  titles  of  same,  namely:— Observations  by  Josh  Billings -In  the 
honeymoon-Not  to  t  An  inter-whiff— A  marriage-maker— A  boy 

—The  girl  of  the  period  again— New  books— Extreme  politeness— Woman's 
wonl-b  love  letter— Cupid's  reply— Afternoon  tea— Difflcul 

ties  touching  matrimony— Hints  for  hot  weather  —  Strawberries— The 
Frenchman  and  the  •  fast"  day— He  never  smiled  again— To  a  school- 
girl i:;  church— An  Afri'  -mplete  satisfaction— Wasn't 
much  acquainted  withJier  husband,  and  a  whole  lot  of  soft  soap  for  all 
sorts  of  people.  It  would  lie  cheap  at  double  its  price.  Price  1O  Cents 
P.M-  <-opy,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

Wehman's  Selection  of  Popular  Recitations,  No.  5.  t 

This  book  is  the  fifth  of  .•!  f  recitation  books  that  are  second  to 

quality  and  quantity,  and  a  series  of  books  that  ought.' 

be  in  the  hands  of  every  lover  of  recitations.    This  book  contains  89 

lected  pieces  of  wide  rangeof  >  some  full  of  strength, 

ind  patriotism;  others  overflowing  with  te:  ing  and  sweet 

bathos,  and  still  others  tilled  with  broad  humor  and  irresistible  drollery, 

ill  popular,    i  as  appropriate  to  all  o  -  can  be  found 

In  this  book.    This  selection  of  pieces  is  entirely  different  from  the  pre- 

;ing  four  mi-  on  a  good  quality  of  paper,  from 

ar,  readable  type,  and  is  bound  in  a  handsojne  colored  cover.    Price 

2't  rent*  per  copy,  by  mail,  post-paid,    ("'lean  and  unused  U.  S.  postage 

stamns  takri.  h  for  all  our  publ; 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

HENRY J.WEHM AN, Publisher,  I OSParkRow, NiwYork. 


Popular  Books.—  Sent  postpaid  at  ths  Prices  Marked 


Wehman's  Magic  Lantern  :  its  principle  and  how 

their  use  in  their  siiRp 


TO  TOU  IT.  CarefiU  jiwtructittits  tor  their  use  in  their  siiRpkst  as  weU 
as  fctwir  most  elatewrato  form-;.  with  estimates  of  cost,  list  of  views,  etc. 
S«nt  by  mail,  port-paid,  on  reeeipt  of  1  0  Cents. 

Wehman's  Book  on  Fireworks.      How  to  make  and 

use  them  properly.    Careful  <  r  the  manufacture  of  simple 

fireworks  for  home  recreation  mod  clteptay.  by  wMcb  an  admirable  ex- 
hibition may  be  made  with  very  ift-tlo  trouble  or  expense.  Sent  by  mafl, 
post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1O  Cents. 

Webman's  Chemical  Wonders  for  Home  Exhibi- 

TION.  Careful  directions  for  a  great  variety  of  instructive  and  inte- 
resting experiments  in  chemistry,  i'ur  iioi.uo  and  school  entertainments. 
with  a  list  of  the  articles  reip  r  thi-  purpose,  and  directions  for 

their  purchase.    Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  reeeipt  of  1O  Cents. 

Morgan's  Expose  of  Freemasonry.     Containing  all 
the  degrees  conferred  by  a  Ma  >  lire,  as  written  by  Cajpt.  William 

Morgan.  By  UEO.  K.  CRAFTS,  formerly  Thrice  Puissant  Grand  Master  of 
Manitou  Council,  New  York.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of 
35  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

Wehman's   Book   of  Ready-  Made    Speeches   and 

TOASTS.  This  book  contains  Presentation  Speeches.  At  and  After  Dinner 
Speeches,  Political  Speeches,  Welcomes,  Congratulations,  School  Com- 
mencement Valedictories,  Sal  utai  !-»>  toasts  and  welcomes 

on  various  subjects.  From  this  book  you  may  learn  some  lessons  that 
will  prove  profitable  when  called  upon  to  speak  or  respond  to  some  toast 
or  sentiment.  Send  for  a  copy  and  prepare  yourself.  Sent  by  mail, 
post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Wehman's  Great  Big  Book.     Endless  entertainment  for 
the  million:  15  short  stories.  21  i  parlor  g;  riddles  and  conundrums, 

135  money-maki;]  0  album  verses.  1  Roman  cross  puzzle,  1  star 

puzzle,  1  Chinese  nuzzle,  1  givat  13  puzzle.  1  lau.uhablo  game  of  fortune- 
telling,  1  deaf  and  dumb  alphabet,  lij  designs  for  stamping  embroidery 
and  fancy  work,  34  illustrated  rebuses.  1  game  of  nine-penny  Morris,! 
game  of  fox  and  gee.se.  £'>  pictures  of  noted  persons,  loo  popular  songb,  10 
pieces  of  music,  1  oracle  of  Kissing  and  fortune-telling  tablet,  l  Buckner'o 
musical  chart  (SAME  AS  SOLI  the  marriage  looking-gl 

comic  readings,  etc.,  all  in  a  great  big  book,  pages  nearly  a  foot  square. 
Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

;  --  !  -- 

f     Webman's  Book  of  700  Secrets;   or  How  to  Get 

RICH  WHEN  YOUR  POCKETS  ARE  EMPTY.  Af2.00bOOk  for  25  cts. 
Reader,  are  you  poor?  This  may  be  the  stepping-stone  to  your  future 
prosperity.  It  will  lead  you  to  something  ti>a  :  as  sure  to  pavo 

your  way  to  fortune  as  that  you  now  exist.  A  bright  future  is  yours  if 
you  only  stretch  out  your  hand  and  grasp  the  golden  key  that  unlocks 
the  vault  that  opens  to  your  astoii:  ;/e,  the  hidden  treasure.  Any 

person,  male  or  female,  married  or  siivgle,  with  just  a  little  pluck,  will 
fee  enabled  with  any  one  of  the  700  :  tins  book  to  make  a  start  on 

the  sure  road  to  wealth  and  kixnry.  Sent  ky  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt 
of  25  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

ADDRKSS  AM.  ORDERS  TO 

HENflY  J.  WEHMAN,  Publisher.  1  08  Hark  Row,  New  York 


Popular  Bocks— Sent  Post-Paid  at  the  Prices  Marked 

DC  Witt's  Columbian  fycitool  Speaker.  A  Clmico  Col- 
lection of  recli  i  ami  adapted  for  patriot  i< 
brations,  such  as  Fourth  of  July,  He  ;>a.y.  and  Grand  Army  Re- 
unions. These  pieces  will  serve  to  tincture  youthful  minds  with  true 
American,  patriotic  spirit,  also  to  kindle  the  patriotism  of  American 
listeners.  Sent  by  muil,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1O  Cents. 

De  Witt's  Humorous  School  Speaker.    Containing  a 

Chok-i  u  of  pieces  in  ]  .it,  will  "serve  to  make 

laugh  who  never  lat  .and  those  who  always  laugh 

laugh  all  the  more."    Such  pieces  are  al1  Demand.    There) 

dull  or  objectionable  line  in  this  book,  and  it  is.  therefore,  a  good  book 
to  place  in  the  hands  of  young,  humorously-inclined  reciters.  Sens  by 
mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1 0  Oeiits. 

De  Witt's  Academic  School  Speaker.     Containing  a 

Iiool  and  academy.    It 

contains  pi'.-ees  by  the  i  '.(rated  authors,  such  as  Charles  Dickens, 

Robert  Burns,  Sir  Walter  Scott,  Sh::  \V.  C.  r.ryant,  Oliver  Gold- 

smith.  Lord  Macaulay,  John  Milton,  Lord  Byron,  Thomas  Gray,  Thomas 
Campbell,  and  many  others.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  reoeipt  of 
TEN  CENTS.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

De  Witt's  Exhibition  School  Speaker.  Comprising 
very  many  of  the  most  exquisite  pieces  in  our  language,  particularly 
adapted  for  recitation  in  public.  There  is  n>  pllshment  that  im- 

parts such  a  nameless  gsace  as  the  faculty  of  reading  and  reciting 
plainly  and  eloquently.  This  work  furnishes  many  of  the  finest  piKiea 
for  elocutionary  effect  in  tbe  la:  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  re- 

ceipt of  10  Cents.    U.  S.  p'  imps  taken  same  as  cash. 

De  Witt's  Thespian  School  Speaker.  Containing 
pieces  that  have  been  :i.go  and  in  the  drawing-room  by 

many  of  our  1<  MS  by 

well-known  authors,  such  as  Shall 

Knowles,  Lowell,  ,  Swinburne,  Bulwer,  Southey,    Brougham, 

Cornwall,  Buchannan  and  many  others.    Its  contents  couipr 
of  the  finest,  pikers  in  by  mail,  post-p&id, 

TK.N  CENTS.    U.  S.  po  taken  same  as  cash. 

De  Witt's  American  School  Speaker.    Containing  63 

choici  m  and  recitation,  suitable  for  school,  par- 
lor or  lew  of  i                 -ins,  viz.:— 
iinericai.  — Character  of  Washington— Modern  Republics  — 
of  War  and   Ct                                          bitutions— Chris- 
•  •rty— T)K                     ir  Birth— The  Warrior— The 

Bhip  u  Big  value  at 

u  nominal  eost.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1O  Cents. 

D?  Witt's  Platform  School  Speaker.    A  collection  of 

new  recitations  for  parl-.ir  and  scliool  entertainment  purposes.  By  Dora 
V.  Bnrtis.  Th>  .1,  many  of  tliem  ne\ 

fore  having  a;  in  print.    An  cut  i  tainment  can 

;;en  from  its  pajjes  without  a  pad,  honored,  but  worn- 

out  recitations;  this  merit,  if  no  other,  in 

and  amateur,  •  nd  student,  will  find  in  this  book  a  combination 

of  material  valuable  and  interesting.  Sent  by  mail,  post -paid,  on  receipt 
Of  1O  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

HENRY  J.  WEHMAN,  Publisher,  1 08  Park  Row,  New  York 


Popular  Books.— Sent  post-paid  at  the  Prises  Marked. 

Webster's  L,ittle  Folks'  Speaker.  Comprising  many 
Btandard  pieces,  as  well  as  a  great  many  original  compositions,  embrac- 
ing a  wide  range  of  subjects.  This  book  is  well  printed,  from  clear, 
readable  type,  and  bound  in  durable,  handsome,  colored  paper  cover. 
Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

De  Witt's  Superior  School  Speaker.     A  successful 

effort  has  been  made  to  render  this  superior  to  any  published.  There  are 
many  fresh,  hearty,  original  pieces  in  the  work,  that  will  impress  and  de- 
ilight  all  lovers  of  spirited  speaking.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipti 
Cf  1O  Centa.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

De  Witt's  Public  School  Speaker.    Containing  a  se- 

ilection  of  the  choicest  pieces  for  recitation  in  public  schools,  academies, 
etc.  This  book  is  in  the  ascending  scale— the  sentiments,  style,  and  les, 
eons  taught  are  all  of  a  higher  grade  than  those  of  the  "  Primary  School 
Speaker."  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  1 0  Cents. 

De  Witt's  Choice  School  Speaker.    The  pieces  in  this 

book  are  most  carefully  chosen  from  many  hundreds  of  the  best  pieces. 
Any  one  having  a  copy  of  this  book  will  never  be  at  loss  for  fine  speci- 
mens of  interesting  and  animated  speaking.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on 
receipt  of  1O  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

!  Wehman's  Ldttle  Folks'  Stories.  A  charming  book, 
which  will  afford  the  little  folks  many  an  evening's  entertainment  and 
amusement.  It  contains  twenty  entirely  original  stories,  embracing  a 
wide  range  of  subjects,  beautifully  illustrated  by  the  justly  celebrated 
artist,  Paul  Konewka.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

De  Witt's  Advanced  School  Speaker.  Adapted  par- 
ticularly to  those  pupils  who  give  proof  that  they  .have  the  ability  to  be- 
come good  readers.  There  is  a  fine  assortment  of  excellent  pieces  in  this 
Speaker,  many  of  them  American  in  every  sense.  Sent  by  mail,  post- 
paid, on  receipt  of  1 0  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash 

Prescott's  Paragon  Reciter.  An  unusually  fine  collec- 
tion of  fresh  and  original  pieces,  as  well  as  standard  selections  of  prose 
and  poetry,  suitable  for  recitation  and  declamation  in  the  higher  classes 
of  schools'  and  seminaries.  This  book  is  well  printed  on  good,  substantial 
paper,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and  bound  in  handsome,  durable  col- 
ored paper.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cent*. 

Prescott's  Standard  Recitations.  Gathered  with  great 

care  from  the  best  American  and  English  specimens  of  first-class  pieces 
for  speaking  in  schools,  and  for  the  home  recreation  and  improvement. 
This  book  is  well  printed  on  fine  quality  book  paper,  from  clear,  readable 
type,  and  bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Sent  by  mail,  post-paid,  on 
-receipt  of  25  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash. 

1  Prescoti's   Social   Readings   and  Recitations.    A 

(collection  of  excellent  pieces  of  wide  range  of  subjects;  some  full  of 
jtetrength,  fire  and  patriotism;  others  overflowing  with  tender  feeling  and 
sweet  pathos,  and  still  others  filled  with  broad  humor  and  irresistible 
drollery.  For  use  in  schools  and  lyceums,  or  by  the  home  fireside.  Well 
printed  on  good,  substantial  book  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and 
oound  in  attractive,  heavy,  colored  cover.  Sent  liy  mail,  post-paid,  on 
receipt  of  25  Cents.  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  c, 

ADDRESS  ALL  OKDERS  TO 

HENRY  J.WEHMAN,  Publisher,  108  Park  Row,  New  York. 


'«    Practical    Pniiltrv    Rnnk     Many  old-fashioned  farmers  are 

s  practical  rouiiry  DOOR,  lncllned  to  discredit  the  state- 
ment that  there  Is  money  in  poultry.  Why?  Because  they  are  not  up  to  the  new  and 
improved  ideas  in  poultry  management.  A  little  trial  of  the  rules  laid  down  in  this 
book  will  soon  dispel  all  misgivings  in  this  direction  and  tend  tw  convince  the  most  skep- 
tical that  there  it  money  in  poultry-keeping.  Sent  by  mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25 

<    <  Ills, 

Vfahman'c   RartonHarc'  fiuiHa      A  new-  cheap  and  thoroughly    reliable 

nenman  s  Danenaers  uuiae.  work  on  the  correct  method  of  mixing 

fancy  drinks  as  they  are  served  to-day  at  the  principal  barrooms  and  hotels  through- 
out the  United  States  and  Canada.  It  tells  how  to  mix  all  kinds  of  popular  bever- 
ages, and  is  designed  for  hotels,  steamers,  restaurants,  club-houses,  saloons,  and 
wherever  a  reliable  guide  might  be  required.  Sent  by  mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt 
of  25  Cents.  . 

Wehman's  American  Live  Stock  Manual. 

reason  than  he  did  not  know  how  to  take  care  of  it  when  well,  or  treat  it  properly 
when  sick.  The  cost  of  this  book  is  but  a  trifle,  but  it  is  simply  worth  its  weight 
in  yold  to  any  man  who  owns  cattle  of  any  kind,  for  it  is  a  complete  text-book,  con- 
taining the  fullest  information  regarding  the  rearing  of  live  stock,  both  in  health  and 
disease.  Sent  by  mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

f-t^n'c  UfiTorHe1  Manual    The  greatest  book  ever  issued  of  its  kind. 

hlan  S  nlXaiUa  manual,  complete  compendium  of  the  secrets  of  the 
Magician,  Mftld  Reader  and  Ventriloquist.  Every  detail  carefully  explained  and  fully 
illustrated.  It  explains:  How  to  change  paper  and  bran  to  milk  and  sugar,  How  to 
cut  a  lady  in  halves,  and  hundreds  of  other  marvelous  feats  of  legerdemain.  It  also 
teaches  how  to  read  a  person's  thoughts,  so  that  you  can  reveal  numbers  and  names 
thought  of,  find  hidden  articles,  etc.  By  mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Ufahman'c    Rncitiocc    letter    Writer     This  book  contains  a  large  variety 
If  On  man  S    DUSineSS    Leiier    ff  riier.    of    carefully    selected    specimen 

business  letters,  also  a  large  number  of  legal  and  mercantile  forms  used  in  business, 
such  as  Articles  of  Co-partnership,  Notice  of  Dissolution,  Form  of  an  Assignment, 
Acknowledgment  of  Deed,  Bill  of  Sale,  Power  of  Attorney,  Judgment  Note,  etc.  In 
commercial  circles  letter  writing  is  an  important  matter,  as  great  interests  are  in- 
volved in  business,  and  results  of  gain  or  loss  are  dependent  upon  them.  Sent  by 
mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Wehman's  New  Book  on  Etiquette  and  Politeness.  T0lisaiSt  h^ 

"back  number"  suggestions  in  this  all-important  subject,  which,  we  regret  to  say, 
that  so  many  high-priced  books  contain  in  a  marked  degree.  It  is  not  a  hashed-up 
affair,  but  a  truly  up-to-date,  first-class  edition  on  the  subject  that  comes  next  in  rank 
to  cleanliness.  Good  manners  are,  as  almost  everybody  knows,  a  very  essential  fac- 
tor in  helping  anyone  to  attain  the  respect  of  those  with  whom  they  come  in  contact, 
whether  male  or  female,  young  or  old.  Sent  by  mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 


Wehman's  New  Book  of  Tricks  and  Ventriloquists'  Guide. 


The 
lat- 
est and  by  far  the  best  book  ever  published  on  tricks,  ventriloquism,  second  sight  and 
fireside  mesmerism.  Illustrated  with  nearly  100  engravings.  The  instructions  are 
so  plainly  given  that  anyone,  with  a  little  practice,  can  do  the  tricks,  as  they  only 
require  .-'implt  appa  «t"*.  A  few  of  the  tricks  are:  How  to  eat  a  peck  of  shavings  and 
change  them  to  ribbon:  How  to  make  a  dime  pass  through  a  table;  How  to  make 
tin-  burn  under  water;  How  to  cut  off  a  chicken's  head  without  killing  it,  etc.  Sent  by 
mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Wnkmin V  Hraot  di(v  RAA!T  Endless  entertainment  for  the  millions!  15 
Tfenman  S  Urea!  Dig  DOUR,  short  Stories,  26  Parlor  Games,  250  Riddles  and 
Conundrums,  125  Money-Making  Secrets,  180  Album  Verses,  1  Roman  Cross  Puzzle,  1 
star  Pn/.zle.  l  Chinese  Puzzle,  1  Great  Thirteen  Puzzle,  1  Laughable  Game  of  Fortune- 
Telling,  l  Deaf  and  Dumb  Alphabet,  125  Designs  for  Stamping  Embroidery  and  Fancy 
Work  24  Illustrated  Rebuses,  1  Game  of  Nine-Penny  Morris,  1  Game  of  Fox  and  Geese, 
25  Pictures  of  Noted  Persons,  100  Popular  Songs,  10  Pieces  of  Music,  l  Oracle  of  Kismet 
and  Fortune-Telling  Tablet,  1  Buckner's  Musical  Chart  (  same  as  sold  for  $1 ),  the  Mar- 
riage Looking-Glass,  Comic  Readings,  etc.,  all  in  a  great  big  book— pages  nearly  a  foot 
square.  Sent  by  mail,  postpaid,  on  receipt  of  25  Cents. 

Address  all  orders  to 

"M°Y  J.  WEHMAN,  Publisher,    108   Park  Row,   NEW  YORK. 


Wehman's  Book  on  Hunting  in  Africa;  or,  Perils  of  a  Forest  Life. 

This  book  relates  the  experiences  of  a  brave  man,  born  with  as  innate  a  love  of  sport  as 
Virgil's  bees  for  making  honey.  It  tells  about  hunting  lions,  shooting  a  lioness,  driving 
an  eland  towards  camp—  Mr.  Cummings  chased  by  a  black  rhinoceros—  Shooting  a 
poacher-  Night  adventure  with  6  lions—  Attack  on  four  patriarchal  lions,  and  a  lot  of 
other  thrilling  adventures.  Parents  can  safely  place  this  book  in  the  hands  of  their 
children,  as  it  relates  facts,  not  fancies.  Reading  a  book  of  this  kind  will  wean  youth- 
ful readers  from  pernicious  literature,  and  improve  their  understanding  and  their  taste, 
Copiously  illustrated.  Printed  on  a  good  quality  of  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type, 
and  bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Price  1O  Cents,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

Wehman's  Book  of  Curious  Characters.  i^£'^F§&%£, 

each  of  whom  has  been  remarkable  in  some  distinctive  way  from  the  rest  of  the  human 
race  It  tells  of  the  sagacity  of  an  idiot—  Of  a  stone  eater—  Of  hermits,  etc.  It  also  tells 
of  a  lot  of  great  people  who  died  on  their  birthdays,  one  of  the  most  conspicuous  of 
which  is  Shakespeare,  the  dramatic  writer,  who  was  born  on  the  23d  of  April,  and  died 
at  the  place  of  his  birth  on  his  birthday,  in  1616,  aged  52.  It  is  a  very  interesting  book 
to  read,  and  its  cost  is  but  a  nominal  one  compared  with  its  intrinsic  value.  It  relates 
facts,  not  fancies,  and,  therefore,  contains  a  lot  of  information  worth  acquiring.  Co- 
piously illustrated,  Printed  on  a  good  quality  of  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and 
bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Price  1O  fen  tut,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

A    yf*kiM«kM'*  Dnnlr  AH  ft!  <»ntc  «n*f  Huiarle     Inmost  of  the  ancient  histories 

Wenman  s  DOOK  on  bianis  ana  uwariSi  ot  tne  world  we  read  of  gi.UitS; 

they  also  find  a  place  in  many  of  those  of  modern  date,  for  they  are  men  of  extraor- 
dinary bulk  and  stature,  and,  therefore,  worthy  of  mention.  Dwarfs  exist  in  every 
country,  and  there  was  a  time  when  dwarfs  as  well  as  fools  shared  the  favor  of  courts 
and  the  nobility.  This  book  tells  of  a  string  of  giants  and  dwarfs  and  strong  men.  It 
also  telis  of  women  with  beards,  horns  on  human  beings,  strange  effects  of  anger;  also, 
that  deformity  is  not  always  a  sign  of  an  ill  man.  It  is  a  very  interesting  and  instruct- 
ive book,  for  it  relates  facts,  not  fancies.  Copiously  illustrated  with  many  handsome 
engravings.  Bound  in  handsome  colored  cover.  Price  10  Cents,  by  mail,  post-paid. 
Clean  and  unused  U.  S.  postage  stamps  taken  same  as  cash  for  all  our  publications. 
Complete  catalogue  of  all  our  publications  mailed  free  upon  application. 


Wehman's  Book  on  the  History  of  the  Horse. 

habit  the  most  retired  deserts.  In  gracefulness  of  form  and  dignity  of  carriage,  he  ap- 
pears superior  to  every  other  quadruped.  This  book  tells  all  about  the  horse  from  the 
time  of  Pharaoh,  when  Joseph  sold  grain  to  the  starving  people  for  their  money,  cattle 
and  horses.  Their  useful  qualities  have  caused  them  to  be  diffused  all  over  the  globe. 
The  following  is  a  brief  synopsis  of  its  contents,  viz.:—  Spanish  horses—  Turkish  horses- 
English  horses—  Arabian  horses—  Hungarian  horses—  Horses  in  their  wild  state—  Shet- 
land ponies,  etc.  It  also  tells  how  long  horses  live,  and  gives  records  of  fleet  horses  in 
the  past;  thrilling  feats  of  horsemanship;  stories  of  the  horse;  jaguar  attacking  a 
horse,  etc.  This  book  is  copiously  illustrated,  and  is  an  interesting  and  instructive  book 
to  read.  It  relates  facts,  not  fancies.  Parents  cannot  place  a  better  book  in  their  chil- 
dren's hands.  Printed  on  good  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and  bound  in  hand- 
some colored  cover.  Price  1O  Cents,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

Wehman's  Book  on  Hunting  the  Elephant  ;  or,  Adventures  in 

SOUTH  AFRICA.  The  elephants  are  characterized  by  great  massiveness  of  body, 
constituting  them  the  largest  of  living  terrestrial  mammals,  by  peculiarities  of  denti- 
tion and  by  the  possession  of  a  lengthened  proboscis  or  trunk  The  elephant  is  an  un- 
wieldy creature,  weighing  fully  3  tons,  supported  on  colossal  limbs;  continues  to  grow 
for  upwards  jf  30  years,  and  to  live  for  more  than  100—  there  being  well-authenticated 
cases  of  elephants  that  lived  over  130  years  in  captivity.  The  elephant  is,  therefore,  an 
interesting  object  to  read  about.  There  are  two  existing  species  of  elephants  -the  Af- 
rican and  the  Asiatic.  The  following  are  a  few  of  the  subjects  treated  on  in  this  book, 
viz  -—Hunting  the  Elephant—  Headlong  charge  of  a  furious  elephant—  Death  of  the  ele- 
phant—Shooting elephants  by  moonlight—  Riding  a  bull  elephant—  White  and  black 
rhinoceroses—  Shooting  a  rhinoceros—  Hunting  the  hippoi>otamu8,  giraffes,  etc.  Copious- 
ly illustrated.  Printed  on  a  good  quality  of  paper,  from  clear,  readable  type,  and  bound 
m  handsome  cover.  Price  1O  Cents,  by  mail,  post-paid. 

ADDRESS  ALL  ORDERS  TO 

HENRY  J.  WEHMAN,  Publisher,  108  Park  Row,  NEW  YORK 


